9th step lesson. During the drinking years I was in a foreign country with a culture not my own and I trampled all over some of their cultures. I was running on my own ego and will and in the process hurt and used others without any consideration to outcomes for them and of course for me. What I did involved the legal system there and I manipulated others so that I left there with only an open warrant for my arrest. I have not apologized to the ones I hurt partly because others will be hurt in the process. The community is a close one and people are connected. The fines, fees and jail time might still be an issue and still I don't know if they exist after so many years. What is of value to me along with the program of recovery is the evidence of what can and had happened when I ran on my own will, ego and pride alone and the fact that I just didn't care about the outcome...broken families and reputations, lost jobs and community respect, threats of violence and harm and spiritual degradation.
I'm staying with the intent of Step 9 and am grateful for the consequence of the process of keeping my ego, pride and will subdued. I have a power greater than myself and that one is God who I am not...ever. Feedback of course; I am listening.
Well, not to be opinionated, but sure sounds like an admirable 9th step to me. :) I found I had to apply several situational variations in order to not do more harm than good, and I trusted God to guide me. No regrets, and a blessedly clean slate, no damage in the wake, and a number of people freed of their own pain in the process. Giving others the opportunity to choose forgiveness is a blessing I never anticipated!
Yup,I also had to choose,living my life in a manner that shows I have changed my attitudes and behaviors and truly am trying to live my life according to spiritual principles and God's guidance.There are some family things that occurred that would be devastating to release at any time and maintain the stability of the family.I have shared all my monsters with my sponsor and God is fully aware,I have made,amends ,to the best of my abilty ,to those deserving.I walk forward ,with my head held high ,and it is so true.Fear takes Flight, as Faith stands Firm...An ongoing daily process and Im getting better.......
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
