New here....Just looking for encouragement and tips on getting started on battling this problem of drinking. It just cost me a marriage and I am at a loss. I never have sought help but I have studied this issue hard and understand the facts of alcoholism but it seems that the true recovery is from support and supporting. Am I right? I'd appreciate any help, thoughts, and or advice. Thanks I realize I must do something!
Welcome !! In your post you wrote that it seems that true recovery comes from support and supporting, and asked if you were right. For me, the answer has been a resounding "Yes" I started my recovery journey about 6 months ago, and it has been rocky, to say the least. It is not that way for everyone, but has been for me. The reasons have been many, things such as my inability to truly admit and accept my alcoholism, failure to get a sponsor, failure to work steps, failure to reach out and take the many hands that were extended to me. Finally, just about 30 days ago, I hit what I hope to be my absolute last bottom. I am one of the fortunate ones who hasn't lost the house, the car, the husband, the kids YET..... I know that is what is in store for me if I continue on the road I was on. Perhaps even worse, death. You don't recover from that. So now I have the sponsor, am working the steps, and extend my hand to the newcomer, if only to say Welcome and I'm glad you are here. There are many here on this board who share of their experience, strength and hope. Peace.
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Thanks so much! I guess what has been so difficult for me to come to grips with finally admitting to this problem is that when I took the first step and confronted my wife; she used my admittance to what I finally am realizing, and turned her back and kicked me out. That's the thing I am struggling the most with. I thought we were supposed to support our loved ones and stand by them when they needed help the most........very hard for me. Am I painting a picture of what may be the case here.
There is no doubt support is very important part of our recoveries,"we" is our theme,one helping another in a loving and caring manner .I say that to say this, this is also an inside job that we must come to grips with. Our 1st Step "we admitted we were powerless over alcohol ,our lives had become unmanageable.I know ,for me ,I didnt have to admit anything to my 3 wives, the trail of devastation was plenty enough admittance(no Im not a polygamist,thats 3 separate attempts)I had to admit it to myself and surrender... Sometimes the core of our disease,self-centeredness wears those down who have been around us.(Im keeping this on myself)The best support I got from my 3rd wife was when she said" I am not going to live like this anymore and I am leaving you..AND SHE DID!!(Imagine that...)It was one of the many seeds that were planted in th last year of my world of oblivion.If she had stayed .I truly believe I may not have made it(of course God always has the plan we don't know of,we are now happily married over 27 years)...Also my 25 year old son,who is now in recovery from 7 years of full blown heroin addiction,brought us to the limit of putting him on the street at 90 pounds,$150.00 per day jones and already o'ded 2x in ICU units.We had to surrender it to God's hands,Gods grace and mercy also allowed him to go to jail instead of die..We never really know how our help will come.He has since told us it was the best thing we ever did for him,though it ripped our hearts out........ THERE IS ATHIN LINE BETWEEN SUPPORT AND ENABLING......THE BEST AMENDS YOU CAN EVER MAKE IS PUT DOWN THE SUBSTANCE,LEARN TO LIVE A LIFE BETTER THAN YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN AND LET YOUR ACTIONS SHOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE NOT JUST WHAT YOU SAY...Remember addiction is a family disease,it affects everyone around us,more that we may ever know...Hopefully you are looking up meeting places and getting ready to be honest and get some help.Let us know how its going okay!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Thank you for sending that me. I am moving out to my folks home since I have not another choice and I am going to seek out help there. I have already looked up locations for meetings. Can you please tell me though, understand my skepticism, not of what I have been going through for years with drinking, but of what I've read here on the internet of the success rate of AA. That worries me as much as this problem I have!!!!!! I want to throw myself into a program, support forum, group in order to get this handled. I want my life back! I understand it's not a quick recovery. I spent many years getting to this point and I am willing to spend the rest of my life to get everything together now.
2) ask someone wth some time in program ,see what they think
Be open minded and get into the spiritual principles of the 12 Steps,a life changing process.Really learn about the physical,spiritual and mental part of this illness and how it manifests in all areas of your life. I know all about "spontaneous remission rates,and the 5%,less than 5% etc that is talked about.How is it being rated,?its an anonymous program? ,who's taking the quiz?? and if you are 1 of the 20 that make it ,would that be good for you?? Remmeber our best thinking got us where it did.You can find support all over the world with AA and that is a true blessing. WE one helping another
And also remember this illness will tell you all kinds of things to keep you from working"an honest program"It will want you complacent,it will wait patiently and it is insidious(websters says that means lurking,waiting to pounce,overtakes before we are aware)I can only suggest showing up and feel the love,forget the statistics. THIS IS A PROGRAM FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT IT,NOT THOSE WHO NECESSARILY NEED IT.yOU CAN google the program 'Alcoholics Anonymous" (BIG BOOK) onliine,read thru 1st 3 chapters and do some "inside work.Sponsorship is so important early so if you show up follow suggestions and directions....Let us know how its going okay..Keep coming back..we truly do care.....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
New here....Just looking for encouragement and tips on getting started on battling this problem of drinking. It just cost me a marriage and I am at a loss. I never have sought help but I have studied this issue hard and understand the facts of alcoholism but it seems that the true recovery is from support and supporting. Am I right? I'd appreciate any help, thoughts, and or advice. Thanks I realize I must do something!
Hi Dave...Welcome to MIP.
You're absolutely right Sir. Having amazing people around us is truly rewarding, especially in early recovery. Connecting with people in a sober network, can produce lasting results. Something, I'm all too fimilar with. Recovering alcoholics have done wonders for my sobriety, far beyond the scope of AA. Something I will never forget. They did this for one reason...to stay sober themselves. So, I suggest you get involved and stay connected.
Recovering alcoholics can also provide you with some valuable insights on how to stay sober -ODAAT. Basically, they can help you map out a course of action, towards continuous sobriety. They've been a lifeline for so many people -including myself and I hope the same can be said for you as well.
So, don't be ashamed or embarrassed about your past, just reach out and grab the hand of "AA" as it guides you towards a better life, here and now.We are a support forum that can help you make informed decisions every step of the way. We promise...So, dive in with both hands, get connected through your local AA affiliates and develop a sober routine that can reward you for years to come.
Whatever you decide to do, try to remember this one tidbit as you proceed from here: Never stop believing in yourself and never give up on recovery programs, not by a long shot. Life can and will get better, just look at us. We won't stop believing in miracles, and neither should you. Your only one step away from becoming the next miracle and AA's first step is where it all began for me, 10 years ago. I hope it will be your lifeline as well -one day at a time.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Sunday 24th of July 2011 01:19:15 AM
Like they said read book it will give you hope. Like it says in the book rarely have we seen a person faill who has truly followed these simple steps. They are simple and hard at the same time, I have fallen because I thought I could do it my way. You see I was smarter than everyone else and I got me even deeper. Today if I stay close to my higer power I can live without the fear that has been consuming me. Keep comming back. We are all her for you
