I am new here. The reason I am here is because my doctor mentioned that she feels I have a substance abuse problem with alcohol. I have started to look back at my drinking habits over the past year, and I can say with some certainty that there have been moments when I have questioned myself if I have a dependency issue.
My life has seen its downs the past year and a half. I had a miscarriage, ended a relationship with a man that I still love, graduated from grad school with a masters in engineering, found out my closest aunt has stage 4 lymphoma, starting full time back at work, reunited with my father and my father's side of the family, and dealing with the loss of a very good friendship. During the past year, I was seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor to help me with my depression and anxiety. I have been on medication for depression and anxiety for a year now. I am trying to get off my medication, which is why I went to see my doctor to assist me with weening off the meds. This is when she told me that she feels I have a drinking problem.
My question is - is she right? Do I have a problem? How do I find out if I do have a problem? If so, is it a good time to get off my medication? How much drinking = drinking problem? I can definitely say that I did drink more during my last semester in grad school. Looking back over the past two months, my drinking has gone down considerably (didn't do it intentionally, just happened). However, my reasons for drinking may be the problem itself?
I am just confused, a little scared and not entirely sure how to proceed. Any advice or experiences would be much appreciated.
You can GOOGLE 20 STEP QUESTIONS "AM I ALCOHOLIC" Answer questions honestly!
You can also find an AA meeting in your area(can also google area and find locations)and show up let them know whats up and see what we are about and where you are in the picture.(if you are asking these questions ???............
you can GOOGLE AA BIG BOOK online and read chapters and learn about the disease(but I highly suggest doing this with a sponsor,someone who has worked steps and knows how to guide you thru)Thats if you decide you are 'ALCOHOLIC"
We have a 1st step that states we admitted we were powerless over alcohol ,our lives had become unmanageable..If this seems to fit,you will want to dig deeper.
Glad you showed up here,there will be others coming on to share their ESH.experience ,strength and hope with you.This may all sound like Chinese to you at first(if you are not chinese!!!)but thats why we say Keep coming back...We don't give advice but we do offer suggestions and ask you to follow directions.If you want what we have you do what we do!!We learn that the substance(alcohol) is only the symptom of our illness and we learn how to work on the mental and spiritual parts of our disease(the ism's) a day at a time.....You have nothing to lose by showing up and you could begin a life better than you have ever known...Hope to hear more from you......
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
bluebee wrote:Ok, so I believe the next step is to find an AA meeting.
I am just....terrified. What should I expect?
You can expect love, understanding, and support from a group of people that understand exactly how you feel and have been through it themselves
We call that "moment of clarity" "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" because no other term seems to describe it
Our "solution" to alcoholism is to do 90 meetings in 90 days, find a sponsor who has "worked the steps" and sit down and go through the first 43 pages of our textbook to see if you "identify" as an alcoholic, that is accept it in your innermost heart that you are an alcoholic, then work the next 11 steps out of that book with a sponsor who has done the same with a sponsor who has done the same in order to get "a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism"
The 90 in 90 is suggested for soooo many good reasons, one, it allows you "shop around" for a set of meetings that will be a good "fit" for you, like me personally, I don't relate to the "living under a bridge" group of alcoholics that just want a girlfriend and a job, I relate to the people who lost their "insides" who lost their soul but still had all their "outside stuff" intact, also 90 days is scientifically proven to be how long it takes to change and establish new patterns and habits, now alcoholism is a two-fold disease, an allergy of the body with an obsession of the mind" and it's the "obsession" part thats tricky, because it can lie dormant for a long time, then one day just convince you that taking one drink would be OK, it will be different this time, then the allergy takes over, and even if you only have that one drink that day, it's a slippery slope and you are on it, and you, like the elevator that only goes down, are headed the wrong way, alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful
it's not the end of the world, it's like having diabetes, treat it and you can live a happy, normal life, that will be a LOT better then the one you have now
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
excellent,read Lin's below and make a beeline!! you can expect love and guidance.Be honest and learn to listen ,and listen to learn......I would recommend getting a Big Book(the program) and taking a walk thru Drs opinion ,Bills story,but remember easy does it,you probably didnt get here overnite so gonna take some work...Follow suggestions and keep coming back let us know how its going..You don't ever have to drink alcohol again.I am truly excited for you...I can remember (vaguely) some of my early experiences.....
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
90 meetings in 90 days sounds....challenging to say the least
I have looked up an AA meeting location in my area and I will be heading to a beginner's meeting today after work.
I am really nervous and scared. One of my biggest fears is that my mother and grandmother really don't believe I have a drinking problem, yet no one really knows just how much I drink/have drank. I know now that it is a problem in my life, especially since I was brought up to believe that there is nothing wrong with drinking (even dependent on it). They don't believe my doctor. But I know I have to do this for myself, and the important thing is that I am accepting the fact that I have a problem.
The man I loved was an alcoholic. I supported him through his time in AA, and I even went to Al-Anon myself to make the relationship work. I just can't believe I am on the other side now. I feel like a complete failure.
I also am a co-dependant I attend Nar-anon for my 25 year old son ,who finally after 8 long years has been clean for a year this August. Addiction is a family disease and it affects all around us ....Good follow up,, feel the love tonite, we have to step out of our comfort zone at times to breakthrough...We all can identify with your feelings, Identify with the disease and do not compare "war stories" and think "oh man I wasn't that bad,,,thats the "insidiousness" of the illness(lurking,overtaking without our knowledge)Have fun ,you no longer have to fight 'SURRENDER TO WIN" Let us know how it went..God will guide you through(at least that Power greater than you right now,the fellowship)
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
1) 90 meetings in 90 days sounds....challenging to say the least
2) I feel like a complete failure.
1) An agressive early attack on the disease followed by a few maintenence steps is all that is needed to arrest this insidious disease, trying to half ass it makes it worse every single time, it's like only eating a half cycle of penecillin so the disease "hides" rather then goes into remission, do it once, do it right, follow up on the MUCH easier maintenence steps and you will never have to do it again, although throughout the years I have done a number of 90 in 90's when my life got unmanageable, it's the strangest phenomenon I have ever seen, hit a ton of meetings, work the steps and miracles happen in your life
look around at the meetings, listen, look for the people who are happy, joyous and free, they ALL did the exact same thing
90 in 90
sponsor
steps
give back to newcomers
2) Don't feel like a failure OR a loser, would you feel ashamed if you got diabetes? same thing, we matabolize alcohol differently then other people, big frickin woop, also the more intelligent you are, the more likely you are to be an alcoholic, it's a scientific fact from a pretty good study
also, name one interesting character from history that WASN'T an alcoholic, Winston Churchhill, Sam Houston, Alexander The Great, etc, all the rock stars, all the great actors, we are INTERESTING PEOPLE, as opposed to say Hitler, a meth head vegetarian, I'm a MEAT EATIN ALKY and I'm DAMN PROUD of it
seriously I love alcoholics, sober ones true, but I can walk into a meeting of AA anywhere in the world and reminisce with a roomful of people I have never met
name ONE...name ANY organization like that in the world...there isn't one, I fly to London, wander around lost, call the AA hotline, find a meeting close by, boom, new friends, invitations to dinner, directions around town (I shamelessly abuse the program and let it shamelessly abuse me in return)
dude we rock, don't sweat it, and you get to join a world wide secret society, how cool is that?
-- Edited by LinBaba on Thursday 21st of July 2011 05:12:28 PM
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Welcome to the forum, bluebee! I know at the beginning, 90 meetings in 90 days seems like a lot but, I found fairly quickly how wonderfully inspiring those meetings can be and often consider them a highlight of my day. You will find support, encouragement, people who understand and lots of good information there. Best wishes to you. :)
~ vixen
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I think there's an invisible principle of living...if we believe we're guided through every step of our lives, we are. Its a lovely sight, watching it work.
I have looked up an AA meeting location in my area and I will be heading to a beginner's meeting today after work.
I am really nervous and scared. One of my biggest fears is that my mother and grandmother really don't believe I have a drinking problem, yet no one really knows just how much I drink/have drank. I know now that it is a problem in my life, especially since I was brought up to believe that there is nothing wrong with drinking (even dependent on it). They don't believe my doctor. But I know I have to do this for myself, and the important thing is that I am accepting the fact that I have a problem.
The man I loved was an alcoholic. I supported him through his time in AA, and I even went to Al-Anon myself to make the relationship work. I just can't believe I am on the other side now. I feel like a complete failure.
Hi bluebee...Welcome to "Mip".
Beginner's meetings, are a great way to interact with other recovering alcoholics who are new to recovery as well. They focus on what's important and how to manage life without drinking. It's certainly a great place to start. So, relax and enjoy the meeting.
One of my biggest fears (as well) was living life on life's terms void of alcohol. When life would throw me a curveball (which it did on occasion), I would drown my sorrows in a bottle of spirits. The wrong kind...of course. The only possible way to deal with the frustrations of life (at that time) was by drinking. However, that eventually changed. When I finally viewed my life from another perspective -a sober one, my outlook on life changed dramatically. That's when AA stepped in, and life as I know it has improved consistently as a result.
Hang in there bluebee, because it does get better over time. We promise. Keep going to meetings, develop a sober routine and start living out the promises -ODAAT. Stay close, keep connected, and never stop believing in miracles (bluebee) until you become one yourself.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 22nd of July 2011 03:56:37 AM
My first AA meeting went very well. It was pretty overwhelming at first, but I sat and listened and people stood up and told me their stories. I found so many common denominators, common to what I have gone through. When I left, I had three women exchange their numbers with me and told me that they would call me or text me to see how I was doing later that night.
Today is - well, I believe my first day of withdrawals. I stayed home and decided to work from home, but I have the worst headache, nausea and the sweats. Oh man, the sweats. I'm an engineer so this is scientific proof (to me, at least) that I AM addicted to alcohol. I feel this is my HP's way of telling me "Girl, you DO have a problem and I'm gonna get this out of you".
So - acceptance? Have I fully accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic? I can say, with 100% certainty that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. And I am strong and I know that with the help of AA and my HP, I can improve my life and be free of alcohol.
Two of my new friends from AA called today to see how I was doing and asked if I was going to the meeting again today. Honestly, my withdrawals are not going to stop me from going. I am going again tonight, I am getting my blue book, and I am going to begin getting to know people so I can find a sponsor for myself. One day at a time.
My last drink was on July 19, 2011. I am almost three days sober. I am hurting, I feel like shit, but it can only go uphill from here.
The miracle begins, my heart is smiling, thank you dear God for touching another one of your children.Thank you to the fellowship for having one look after another and thanks for the message of hope today BlueBee even with one day we can carry the message to those still sick and suffering that with admission,surrender,work guided by a Higher Power ,we "DO RECOVER" a day at a time.......Truly a blessing
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Bluebee, you are amazing. You've worked through this preliminary stuff (asking for help, determining if you're an alcoholic, locating a meeting, stopped drinking, admitted to yourself that you have a problem, went to a meeting, got phone numbers, going through withdrawals and getting up and going to another meeting) with such efficiency, must be the engineer at work.
I am hurting, I feel like shit, but it can only go uphill from here.
It will, and it will in ways you could not even begin to imagine. The first little while will probably be rough as your body, mind and soul readjust to an alcohol free existence but then things will start falling into place if you follow the program.
Don't be afraid... I've joined so I can help those like me. You are probably here because you are like us- we are all friends wanting to help each other. Remember, not drinking has never gotten anyone in trouble!
For me finally accepting I was an alcoholic was the most liberating experience - I was able to believe that I was not this trailer trash loser but someone with a disease that can be arrested but never cured. It also meant for me that I was not mad and needed locking up in a padded room. You go girl - all one step at a time, one day at a time. There are such amazing people on these boards, you will never have to feel alone again. There is no love like the love one alcoholic has for another:)
