6 months into my 3rd marriage,at a small farm In Rhinebeck New York,I "cameto" for the last time in my life.The insanity wasn't making the same mistakes and expecting different results, I made them and 'KNEW" what the results would be. With a broken spirit,a physically tore up soul(thats body)and an insane mental state I lifted my head from the floor of that farmhouse and with an "emotional acceptance of utter defeat" I surrendered after 25 years of devastation.(12/2/1984)..I didn't know how I was going to move forward(I found out when I showed up in the rooms)but I know the old adage of Jails,Institutions,deriliction and death were reality for me. I had already been part of all but death, and that only thru God's grace and mercy!
Today ,I no longer live like that, I have found a new and better way of life,guided by the God of my understanding and working and applying the "solution" our steps ,worked with a sponsor in my life. A daily reprieve ,based on that fit spiritual condition and applying all the tools of our program in "all my affairs".Am I cured?? No way,but we do recover......I must continue to work or that complacency,the real enemy,of those with substantial time free from active addiction, keeps my disease waiting for an opportunity to pounce and time is of no concern to the monster. Yes the progression of recovery is a continuous uphill journey, and without effort we start our slide down the hill again, BUT the progression of the disease is ongoing even during abstinence.Our goal is recovery thru our 12 steps and not mere abstinence. If you are new or just coming around...STAY...KEEP SHOWING UP, FIND A SPONSOR, GET INTO THE SOLUTION AND GIVE BACK TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. My continued conscious contact with my Higher Power prays that no one ever has to "come to" again in another state, not only of mind but literally, like Connecticut,Pennyslvania,New Jersey etc!!Just for Today you don't have to drink,come join our new way of life....we need you. God had literally left one set of footprints in the sand as I was carried along the long and winding road. I can only pay it forward by giving back what I was so freely given..... .Have a blessed and productive day!!!
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
thank you Mike for sharing you ESH with me this morning. life in the "AA lane" has kept me out of jail, hangover free, and living in a state of grace that helps me count my blessings and get through the problems that i used "to give myself permission to drink a couple bottles of wine" over, which only added to my problems, never made them better or go away. Thank you God and AA friends for being here, helping me stay sober. jj/sheila
Just wanted to say that this inspiring message has really helped me a lot, today. Thanks for showing me that long-term sobriety, and all of its benefits, can be attained.
