Shit man, when am I gonna learn! My neice has recently qualified as a teacher. She's been struggling to find a permanent position in the UK. She's now got a position............in Iraq, FFS!
One part of me recognises her achievement and that what she does is shag all to do wi me. The other part tells me that she'll be the next hostage to get her head sawn off.
Acceptance is what I need.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
You got the acceptance part right Bill...now on to the self focus and powerlessness part. Projecting is right!! Has she even left yet? Everytime I do this I get emotional and mental hangovers. !!!!! Are these extravagant promises?? you bet your butt they are to this alcoholic.
Oh look, it's Bill having a normal reaction to having a young relative being sent into a War Zone rather then either not caring or going on a drunken tear crying jag and making it all about him
seems you have achieved -normalcy- to me, now just get used to having an emotion now and again and you will be sound as a pound
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
jerry. No she hasn't left the country yet. My first reaction based on fear and ignorance. More information from my niece has allayed my fears and I can flip this and see the upside. Lb I'm not so sure that wild projection is a normal reaction but them I wouldn't know a normal reaction if it smacked me in the gob with a mallet. I saw the tone of your reply as that of a belittling parent. Maybe you didn't mean to come across that way.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I saw the tone of your reply as that of a belittling parent. Maybe you didn't mean to come across that way.
Not at all, more like .... amused I guess, there was decidedly some amusement but affectionate amusement because I recognize you in me of course, hard to explain, we tend to over dramatize or even drama queen even normal occurances, especially emotions, and we tend to make things all about us even when they have nothing to do with us, then we take facts and absolutely make up stories with absolutely NO bearing in reality, then we freak out and say "OMG I'm acting like an alcoholic!!!" and then our reaction to the reaction becomes bigger drama then the reaction, when the truth of the matter is to a certain extent, we are just acting human, then we catch ourselves, clean up our act and move on, and it's -normal- and that's a good thing, so no, not condensending or belittling, amused that you are on a boat I take many a trip on too, I like you way too much and relate to you way too much to ever belittle you
We alcoholics are especially sensitive people, like acutely so, take away our alcohol and it's magnified tenfold, throw in a negative emotion on a personality that has gone through life anesthetizing our emotions and it rages through us like measles raged through the native americans, it's like we developed no resistance to emotions, or we did it's just it was alcohol, remove that and the slightest thing and we go running in to the rooms waving our arms doing our best chicken little impression sounding like mammy from Gone With The Wind, with alcohol I was calm and placid as a hindu cow and I shared my emotions about as much as Clint Eastwood in those Sergio Leone Spaghetti westerns, when I took alcohol away I could give a gay hairdresser drama queen a 10 yard head start in the hundred and beat him screaming with 50 yards to spare
so amused? absolutely
belittling, no not at all
-- Edited by LinBaba on Monday 11th of July 2011 06:25:03 AM
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
My daughter will be deploying to Afghanistan this Fall. When she enlisted in the army, I went insane, what is she thinking?!! She stopped phoning me because I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I couldn't keep out of her business.
In al-anon I learned that there are 3 kinds of business... there's my business, there's someone else's business, and there's God's business. My daughter going to war is her business, it's what she wants to do with her life... her journey is HERS, it has NOTHING to do with me. And her welfare there, is God's business.... If anything happens to my daughter, I hope I can look at it as her path to God.
Of course, when my brain ventures into dark imaginings... I stop that negative sh*t immediately and I start imagining her coming home and celebrating a marriage... or holding her future newborn with all smiles... My sponsor has given me permission, she told me that if I'm going to project into the future, by all means................. project something GOOD!!!!"
oh well thanks for the clarification lb. You're right us alkies are touchy buggers. It is reassuring that my initial reaction as in that's good followed by Iraq are you crazy! Could be normal. But the follow up she's gonna get abducted and then me and her dad and her brothers and my ex SAS mate are gonna have to go and rescue her or she's gonna end up getting flogged for not wearing a burkha or she's gonna get jailed for drinking and lewd behaviour. That ain't normal. But she's a grown up. I'll sit on my irrational fears and believe her reassurances.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
It is reassuring that my initial reaction as in "that's good" followed by "Iraq are you crazy!" Could be normal. But the follow up she's gonna get abducted and then me and her dad and her brothers and my ex SAS mate are gonna have to go and rescue her
See this appears to be perfectly normal and a rational line of thinking to me hahahaha
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Hmmm... How does SHE feel about it? Sounds like it might be the adventure of a lifetime. Dangerous perhaps, but it's hard to think of a better calling than teaching in a strife-ravaged society.
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
