Hello, my name is Olin. I am writing in red because I need help. I am in drug court and trying my best to make it through. I could use some support from you guys if you don't mind. At first I only drink alcohol when using drugs, Now I find myself drinking to get over drugs., how dumb is that? Im starting to loose my mind, Im not really helping myself at all, going from one drug to another. Alcohol is not working, it's only making my matters worst. I have a serious problem and this I have no problem sharing my problems, this why I am desperately seeking help.
Welcome Olin. Let me just start out by saying your not alone. Everyone on this board has needed help with our disease. Have you been to any AA meetings? If not I would suggest you give it a try. The relief I felt the first meeting I went to was amazing. I heard stories that I could relate to and knew I was not alone in what I was going thru. I was not judged for being there from the courts. Many were. Some took the help and continued with recovery others felt they could go back out in the chaos. I saw them at later meetings when they got in even more trouble. I know how helpless you must feel but there is hope out there. AA will guide you. Just go to a meeting, get a cup of coffee and sit back and listen. Give it a chance and you might be pleasently surprised on how much it will help you. Take care and reach out!
Welcome Olin. Let me just start out by saying your not alone. Everyone on this board has needed help with our disease. Have you been to any AA meetings? If not I would suggest you give it a try. The relief I felt the first meeting I went to was amazing. I heard stories that I could relate to and knew I was not alone in what I was going thru. I was not judged for being there from the courts. Many were. Some took the help and continued with recovery others felt they could go back out in the chaos. I saw them at later meetings when they got in even more trouble. I know how helpless you must feel but there is hope out there. AA will guide you. Just go to a meeting, get a cup of coffee and sit back and listen. Give it a chance and you might be pleasently surprised on how much it will help you. Take care and reach out!
I agree...AA has been my lifeline as well. The last 10 years of my life is a testimony to AA's success and how lives can change if "we" work the program. So, do yourself a favor and stop by an "AA" meeting and experience -for yourself- the life altering gifts of sobriety. You can begin the process of reclaiming your worth -one day at a time and AA will be there to support you every step of the way. So, stop by, raise your hand and say with a firm resolve "I need help". When you do, the help you so desperately need, will be knocking on your door -for sure. We will be here to support you every step of the way -as well. We promise...
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 8th of July 2011 06:54:13 PM
Most of us where in the same position as you at one time, addicted to alcohol and/or drugs. Going to AA getting a sponsor, a homegroup, working the steps and a lot of meetings is what worked for me, and works for most.
The substance (alcohol/drugs), was only a symptom of our problem. You will find the solution in the steps of AA or NA. Alcoholics can't use mind altering drugs and Drug addicts can't use alcohol if they are to recover. You can find meetings in your area online.
Below is basically how it works:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling,powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power-that One is God. May you find Him now!
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Hello, my name is Olin. I am writing in red because I need help. I am in drug court and trying my best to make it through. I could use some support from you guys if you don't mind. At first I only drink alcohol when using drugs, Now I find myself drinking to get over drugs., how dumb is that? Im starting to loose my mind, Im not really helping myself at all, going from one drug to another. Alcohol is not working, it's only making my matters worst. I have a serious problem and this I have no problem sharing my problems, this why I am desperately seeking help.
Olin,
Not dumb at all in the sense that a good majority of us have been there before. Hell, I dated someone who did the exact same thing. It is very easy for us to quit one substance and move to another. The important thing is that you've asked for help... at the risk of sounding cliche, the first step is admitting you need the help.
I am only 26 days in to this "sobriety deal" and I tell you what... it has been ... well--different. It is definitely easier than waking up feeling like shit about myself or what I did or dealing with the consequences that come. The best thing that has happened to me is that I found a group of people (not necessarily the same room, but AA in particular) that I can go to and be welcomed with open arms and absent of judgement.
All I can say to do is try out AA meetings... when you're feeling lonely, stressed, bored even, GO TO A MEETING. You don't even have to talk about what everyone else is talking about or even talk for that matter. I have come to realize that it is us "newcomers" that keep this program going and visa versa. Without the experiences of the "old timers" they wouldn't have the knowledge to help us and by helping us, they in turn help themselves. It is a beautiful circle. I'm still struggling to open up in meetings but when I am having a particularly rough day, I say "SCREW THE TOPIC!" and say what I need to say... if others have had the same experiences, they will embrace you and your feelings with open arms and an unconditional love that, at first, can be hard to accept (at least for me it was).
If you really want help... go for it... what do you have to lose? And if you find things you have to lose, weigh those with what you're losing right now. Which one holds more weight? There is help and there are answers--they may not be clear at first, but noone said this is friggin easy ... but you'll meet people who have the same story as you or similar and you'll see how they pulled through it.
Sorry for the long rant, but I'm 26 days new to this and I just felt like maybe that might help. Don't mean to give advice, but I needed help and this has been my experience through AA. Keep coming back to the forum if you think you can't make it to a meeting... we'll be here to talk and support you in whatever you need.
Keep your head up! It gets better. We just have to do the footwork to begin the process of getting better. Message me any time.
__________________
his roots grasped a new soil
one is one too many and one more will never be enough
faith has to work twenty four hours in us and through us or we perish
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics." AA book pg 30. I admire your courage, by coming straight out & asking for help. That has put you in the current of the stream of recovery. I danced around in denial & almost died of alcoholism. Get into the AA meetings, get the AA book & start reading it. In the preface of the book they tell us that the success rate is well over 75% for immediate recovery. I think you have taken the 1st step. Study the 2nd step in the book & see whether you honestly need that. The book spoke about a restoration to sanity & I did not understand what it meant, so I went back & drank alcohol, got into more trouble, nearly died & got back into AA, bought the book, read & studied it, understood it, applied the principles in the book. I got sober, despite myself & no matter how much the obsession to drink troubled me, I stayed sober & got to work the steps. The promises materialised, the obsession to drink has left me & no matter how difficult life gets, the book's design for living works.
You gotta have a plan brother. Detox then figure out how to live your life without the stuff. AA can be a big help with the second part.
Assuming that you're getting to meetings daily, and working with a sponsor, having sober living arrangements are key. I benefited greatly by sharing a house with sober room mates for the first 4 years. These folks ranged in years 2 to 10 more than I had. It was inspiring to see them living a happy functional life sober.
Hello Olin, we start to get help when we ask.Good job showin up here,a beginning.. ALCOHOL is a drug...So don't get that twisted.Its like trying to put out the fire with gasoline...My 25 year old son is a heroin addict in recovery and also was part of drug court.He didnt make it.He was sent to transition,jail,halfway houses,TC'S(therapeutic communities) and nothing worked cause he wasn't ready to make an admission and totally surrender,to the emotional acceptance of utter defeat.We have to begin our recovery by putting donw the substance,complete abstinence.That is just the beginning.We do have a solution ,our steps,worked with a sponsor.Give yourself a break,make a meeting,I know Drug Court in our area allows meetings sometimes brought to the facility in H&I (hospitals and institutions.)My son is on 140 mg's of Methadone,a drug as powerful as heroin so he is still working on getting "truly clean.We are responsible for our own recoveries. I only mention this because substituting one for another (alcohol for drugs) just doesnt work...Alcohol is a drug!!!Making good choices was not high on any of our priority lists(i'll keep it on me)We suggest what worked for us and do the work of the program.You dont have to live like this anymore.Finish your Drug court,get support group,hopefully by making some meetings and get to work.Keep coming back let us know how its going okay...In support
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I think cross addiction is the nature of the beast more often than not these days. I have heard from countless addicts that they have done the same thing and gone through phases of severe alcoholism while trying to compensate for drug addiction. I have also heard of alcoholics who switch to things like pain killers because for a while, it would seem that it is less noticable to have a drug addiction than it is to be stumbling drunk and reeking of alcohol. Anyhow, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. What we as alcoholics and addicts crave is to alter our feelings and thoughts....so while alcohol may be legal to consume....it creates the same problem and it's really just another drug (they state this in NA more than anywhere..."A drug is a drug").
Most of my friends in AA that had meth or cocaine addictions tell me that it usually started with a drink and then the drugs would follow....Hence, many of them say they are alcoholics and addicts.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Hello, my name is Olin. I am writing in red because I need help.
Go to your local telephone book and in the white pages find the hotline phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous...call that number and read your post to them. Ask if there is anyone you can meet with soon and ask them when the earliest AA meeting is and where. Take yourself to that meeting...introduce yourself even by reading your post and then sit down, listen, learn and practice what the sober fellowship is doing. We do have the solution to your problem.
Good that you found MIP and checked in...you are now a member and there is no excuse now to not keep checking in and finding out what we have learned not to be in your condition anymore.
If you are an alcoholic and go to AA meetings, concentrate on the alcoholism and the other 'isms' will get better or go away as well. If you are not an alcoholic, then you need to seek help in the applicable program. Good luck and God Bless!
-- Edited by soberbytheGOG on Sunday 17th of July 2011 03:28:51 PM
Thanks for sharing Olin. I ditto all the suggestions given previously. I used to provide treatment for folks in a drug court. Felony or misdemeanor? Whatever, the judge will work with you. If you can't make it any other way - a detox in county jail could occur. I know you don't want that. Accept the help offered to you. We have to stay clean - that means all drugs even the most baffling one - alcohol. I used to not think I could live without drugs and alcohol. Put a few days together clean and your mind and spirit WILL begin to clear.
but noone said this is friggin easy 
... but you'll meet people who have the same story as you or similar and you'll see how they pulled through it. 
