I am writing to tell everyone on this board that I miss and think of you often.
This board has been a total lifeline for me, and was the link that got me to AA. For that I am forever grateful. I think fondly of the people invidually that I got to interact with and all of those who've come since I have not posted regularly-I am missing out!
I came here and it was suggested I go to meetings and try AA and I did! My life has changed so much since those early days two years ago. Well, the outward details have not changed so much-I still work in a bar, I'm still living with my drinking partner who still drinks, I live in the same house, wait I actually still have a house!
It's my attitude and outlook that have changed and all of that is because of sobriety. Oh and also, I get to do so many fun and rewarding things that I never had the inspiration to do before.
What I got here is invaluable. 24hr support. Crash course in AA. What it is like to be sober. Many details. The heartfelt honesty in what is shared here is what made me willing to try the fellowship in person.
Been very active in program. I drank after one year of sobriety on one night, a year ago on June 14. I never left, never denied my alcoholism and was able to come to a sober life the very next day, thank God, and be willing to look at things and strengthen everything, look at what needed to be different.
Later in the year I finished working the steps with my sponsor. She mentioned casually that I was ready to sponsor others and 2 weeks later someone asked me, with out knowing any of that, straight out of the blue.
That has been a challenging experience. It's deepened my own knowledge and experience of the steps. It's also been a haul and time consuming. I got a home group and a service position there.
At the same time, going on no major changes for a year I've continued to live with my husband, who was my former drinking partner and who continues to drink ever heavily. This has been a source of much pain for me, and lots of learning too. There is no outward violence, but it is very hard to find recovery and watch someone you love drink destructively and feel the void between you grow by day. I felt I needed help, so I've attended Al-Anon meetings too.
It's hard to keep the programs separate and it's not recomended traditionally to work another program so soon after getting sober. However, in my case Al-Anon has been a source of enough serenity to attempt to grow towards light as opposed to sinking into despair.
I've had to keep AA front and center, and stay active there, so something had to give and I found myself too weary to continue checking in nightly here.
Please know that I have much respect and love for everyone here, sharing our journies in recovery. I think back to many of the things I learned here, and the things that troubled me about the board. Today I see it all with a refreshingly different perspective. When I go over the old posts, much of them make sense in a new way; I must be growing even when it doesn't feel like it.
So I'll end with this, this planting is still growing, thanks for the sweet spiritual water. At one year, I'm a toddler, with much to learn. I'm in the middle of a painful, gut-wrenching spot as it may be time to consider that an ultimatum regarding the drinking for my husband could be livesaving even if hard for me. Thanks to the steps and AA principles and tools, I know that there is something good on the other side, no matter what. I am learning that I am worthy as a child of the universe, that all of you really matter, and I can be so utterly grateful that I am sober today.
Nice to hear from you Angela. MIP has been a wonderful place for me. I have been here just over a year on this board. I have come into contact with some of the finest people. Thanks for checking in. We need people like you. Just drop in a little while and say hello. Gonee.
Angela, thank you & God bless you. I loved reading your share & I feel your heartfelt hello. Your passion, love & sincerity are blazing out for all to see & I'm deeply proud of your efforts & your gratitude. You are so obviously allowing a grace to hold & carry you through your difficulties & I can see you doing your best to come from a place of love in all you're doing.
Thank you for continuing to give back. You are an inspiration to me too. Thank you for being here in the moments you can. I can see you choose wisely in your commitments & it pays off. Wishing you all the love & luck in the world for a loving outcome with your partner. I hear your pain & your positive intention there. I'm sure you will do as is meant for you. In faith, unity, recovery & service, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Nice to hear from you Angela. MIP has been a wonderful place for me. I have been here just over a year on this board. I have come into contact with some of the finest people. Thanks for checking in. We need people like you. Just drop in a little while and say hello. Gonee.
