.. since I've been here. I've been trying to catch up a little the last couple of days, but feel I've been away forever.
Things have been steady for me. A little over for months sober now, with no real desire to drink (except for one difficult 30 minute period) a few weeks ago. The AA meetings have been hit or miss. I might make 2 or 3 meetings one week, then miss 2 or three weeks due to work. But, all is well.
A week or so after the divorce was final, I meant someone that about 200 miles away. We've been seeing each other when possible. She's been divorced for 4 years, but was married to an alcoholic for 7 so she knows what I went through. The best part she and I are on the same page spiritually. The 30 minute period I mentioned earlier was in regards to a vendor hosted corporate dinner at a nice restaurant in Atlanta - the kind with the well never runs dry. I was the only one out of 8 of us drinking water. I didn't have my sponsors number on my work phone, so she and I texted for that period until it the desire to drink eased and I was able to enjoy my meal. She inspired me to continue walking in sobriety. It will be interesting to see how our relationship unfolds, but I am glad there is a distance buffer built in.
I had originally lost from 189 lbs to 163 about 6 weeks ago, but steady visits to the gym and good nutritiion have brought me back to 179 (but still wearing the same size as I did at 163). I swear there's something different in my body chemistry since I became sober as I've never achieved the kind of results in years of working out as I have in the last 4 months. It's strange, but awesome.
I'm muddling through step 9 right now. It's not so much that I don't want to reach out to the people I've hurt, it's just a lengthy process in determining who the people I may have hurt. I'm tweaking my list every few days it seems. I've made amends, or attempted to make amends to a few. Still working on the others. My sponsor has been a big help.
And finally, I've had the wierdest freekin' dreams lately. I mean off the wall, crazy stuff that I have no explanation for. Like last night, I dreamt aliens were attacking my city and everything around my house was getting blown up. My family (all complete strangers, mind you) wouldn't shut up no matter how hard I tried. I finally gave up and had a beer. Just random stuff.
Anyways, I woke up... no aliens and still sober. Life is good.
Thank you for sharing, Jasper. Good to see you back, still sober & using sponsorship. Hopefully one day you'll be able to walk with others through this path of the twelve steps. God bless, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!