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Post Info TOPIC: Taking a Risk?


MIP Old Timer

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Taking a Risk?
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Risk Taking is Free


To laugh is to risk appearing the fool, To weep is to risk appearing sentimental, To reach out for another is to risk involvement, To expose feelings is to risk exposing true self, To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss, To love is to risk not being loved in return, To live is to risk dying, To hope is to risk despair, To try is to risk failure, But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.


Only a person who risks - is free. Risk taking is: Opening yourself to change. It is the accepting of the need for change and it is taking the behavioral steps that will result in that change. Honest appraisal of a situation in life requiring your action. Understanding the risks involved in taking such action. Weighing the pros and cons of taking the action. Making a choice to take the required action. Performing the action with full consciousness of the risks, pros and cons, and potential outcome. Accepting the consequences of such action. The ability to ignore your need for other's approval in order to take the most appropriate action for you. The behavioral process involving the gamble that you may experience rejection from others for the actions you have chosen to take. Pursuing the required actions despite the fear that it will affect others negatively, resulting in their efforts to make you feel guilty about taking such action. Deciding to make a personal sacrifice of time, energy, ability, and knowledge as an investment to better your circumstances. Hoping your circumstances will improve as a result of your personal sacrifice, but making it anyway. The effort to be honest with yourself about your part in interpersonal problems, admitting that you have certain personal barriers that prevent the resolution of the problem. Admitting to the other(s) involved what the barriers are and seeking assistance to address those barriers and resolve the problems. Committing to become objective in pursuing a rational approach to a problem. The willingness to identify irrational blocking beliefs, which hinder resolutions. Opening yourself to be identified as being too subjective, too emotional, too obstructing, and too hindering in the resolution of your problem. The willingness to accept honest, objective feedback about the need for you to change your own behavior. The effort to be less subjective, less defensive, and more open in your search for truth, honesty, and sanity in resolving your problem. The willingness to take a healing, forgiving, and forgetting attitude in pursuing the resolution of a conflict.Opening yourself to be vulnerable, to being taken advantage of by the other in the conflict situation. Demonstrating your trust in the other person's willingness to accept an honest, open, and upfront approach to resolving the conflict. ``Now''-oriented action. Direct confrontation of a problem. It is the absence of procrastination and denial in dealing with a problem. Responsible action taken to pursue the resolution of a problem. What are some blocks to risk taking?


Road blocks to becoming a risk taker include: Fear of rejection Need for approval Need to avoid guilt Need to always be right Need to know all the "in's and out's'' of a situation Need for certainty Lack of belief in yourself and others Fear of being incompetent Desire to avoid conflict Unresolved anger Poor role modeling in family of origin Fear of failure Unwillingness to face problems honestly Lack of assertiveness in protection of your own rights Inability to take the responsibility for your own life Unwillingness to accept possible negative consequences Preferring to be unhappy, mired in your problem Playing it safe A need for security Fear of hurting others Rationalizing the lack of need for direct action Denial that a problem exists, and action needs to be taken Projecting the need for action onto others Intellectualizing about a problem to avoid action Exempting yourself of responsibility to resolve a problem Relying on others to resolve your problems Alcohol or drug abuse ``clouding'' thinking Over emotional response to a problem Humoring yourself and others to ignore the problem Over concern for everybody but yourself Fear of pain (no pain, no gain) Absence of desire to change Irrational belief that it is impossible to change the situation A disregard for the rights of yourself and othersConfusion about your role in handling the problem Lack of ownership of the problem Over-sentimentality for the needs of others Enjoying the sympathy you receive from others for the problem you face Inability to let go of an old belief in a person or institution A belief that life should always be fair Not being a risk taker results in: The problem or complaint going unresolved Change being avoided Maintenance of the status quo, even if it is negative Others turning off to your complaints and pleas for help No gains in life C stagnation Over-dependence on others to take care of you Unhappiness concerning your current status in life Depression over your problems Feelings of being stuck C immobilized A chronic ``yes, Y but'' attitude Lack of creativity in problem solving The problems becoming exacerbated Your rights and the rights of others being ignored Experiencing ``burnout'' in facing your problems Loss of support from others who have been assisting you in working on your problems Loss of physical health Loss of emotional health Being isolated and ignored by others as you wallow in self-pity Your blaming others for not helping to solve your problems Your self-destructive, self-defeating behavior



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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 578
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oh WOW!!!!


 


this is great....i was so paralized with fear........fear my needs wouldn't be met....fear of abandonment.....fear of failure...fear of sucess.....fear of rejection.......you name it i was afraid


getting into recovery and telling MY story,  to **discharge* the  pain/outrage/grief i had simmering in me,    god only knows when i became so traumatized in life that i froze up.....i mean WAY back in my childhood  WAY before the sex assaults,   i remember  crying and being afraid....REAL fear that something dreadful would happen....the violence, the  volatility,   the  fights,   people  (parents)  shooting at each other....ramming cars into houses,  etc.......i became frozen with fear WAY back


doing step 4 showed me why all my shortcommings are out of  F E A R........" false evidence appearing real"  that is what fear is....and i had to UNdo all the **falsities* i was taught....to unravel it......so i could take risks....


i did a lot of risk taking since recovery..........i got into recovery.......did step 5 (telling another human all my shortcommings)..........i went to court and told a judge i wanted to change my name because i didn't want my rapist's name on me..........i got *adopted* into this family who lied to me and stroked me with broken promises, and i RISKED taking care of me by   confronting them with their lies....taking care of me when they did not honour their words/promises  (i walked away)  ....i swore off relationships so i could  **learn to love me---take care of me*........i risk being rejected by setting boundaries....risk abandonment by saying "NO"  when someone imposes on me.....i stand up for me....... i offer myself as sponser...............hey!!!  i did a lot of risks.......now when my HP knows i am ready for a healthy  man-woman relationship,  i will  do the serenity prayer and look to my hp  for the courage to love and be loved by an intimate relationship....until then???? i work on loving / caring for me.....i guess until i really  have *heart knowledge*  that i love me /  CAN and DO take care of me......mate won't come, because to do so too early  would only equal another coda relationship for me........i RISK being alone because i  want to  invest my time in a healthy relationship......how???? by haviing something to bring to the table myself...........hows that for risk????????    this is great share........it makes me think of a lot of step 4 ???s i could work on....................peace/  rosie



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