Does anyone have any advice for someone who is in early recovery and trying to find meaning in their life? I wake up every morning and think I have 40 plus years of emptiness to go. I feel so empty towards my HP and other people. I have run off from life so long that I don't know how to live. I have 21 months of sobriety and have been thru the steps once so far. I thought I would be doing better than this.
Any help or advice will be much appreciated.
Lisa
Lisa, other than suggesting you talk to your healthcare provider, I don't have enough experience to offer suggestions but I did want to let you know I am sorry you are feeling the way you are. Hopefully you'll get some actual advice here soon; meanwhile this semi-newbie is praying for you! Take good care of yourself, Yvette
Congratulations on 21 months that is awesome. What your feeling should be looked into by perhaps a doctor. Even when we get sober, there are other things that might need to be addressed other then our drinking. Dont hesitate to check with a Dr. to find out if there is other things involved. There are alot of people on here and in AA who have other issues that can be helped by the medical profession. Im not a Dr. but you sound like you might be depressed. There is help out there. Alcoholism and depression go hand and hand. So glad you joined our Mip. There is alot of loving people with great advise. Glad your hear and keep posting. :)
Hi Lisa, welcome to the board. Conqrats on 21 months! I remember the first few years pretty well. I didn't feel really comfortable, with my sober identity, till I hit 5 years. I takes time to learn how to do everythinq over aqain sober. I stayed out of relationships for the first 3 years! Sure I did some datinq but nothinq lonq term or serious. I lived in the basement of the home that I qrew up in, for the first 3 years, thanks to my father. I was divorced and a part time sinqle dad. I had to cut ties to almost all of my friends as they were addicts and alcoholics. I chanqed my career of Construction manaqement (to qet away from all of those addicts also) and worked on beinq self employed. It was depressinq to me, in the first couple years dealinq with rejection, tryinq to sell construction services, and livinq alone. People told me I needed to "qet a life". I didn't know what that meant. I beqan to pack my spare time with mundane routines like workinq out, ridinq my bicycle, bowlinq, rentinq movies on wed. niqht. qoinq out to eat, with myself, a couple niqhts a week. It all seemed really stupid for awhile, then it beqan to feel comfortable, predictiable. I beqan to realize that boredom meant the lack of chaos and impendinq doom. Boredom eventually became serenity, peace, and routine became security. Hanq in there, it'll happen for you.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 8th of June 2011 09:36:19 PM
I thought I would be doing better than this. Any help or advice will be much appreciated. Lisa
Someone in another thread was talking about "This Too Shall Pass". I hated and sometimes still do when someone would say this to me. But it's true. I still want that immediate fix. I don't really want to feel anything but good or great. But that's not life.
I now understand what folks meant when they said "You're right where your supposed to be". I am where I am for a reason, reasons that may not be known to me at that moment. I guess I was around you time in recovery when I said, several times, "I got sober for this?" "Is this all there is?" Today I can tell you I needed these places to start the journey of becoming "Happy, Joyous, & Free."
Talking about it always helps and my sponsor would ask me to start a small miracles list. You know, not the big obvious things, but the small things that I wouldn't normally pay much attention to. And of course that Graditude list. :D
What I did and do, while in these places, is to talk about them, not drink, and start those lists. I also promise if you'll try to help someone else, that will help with those feelings. If doesn't have to be anything major, sometimes just a caring ear or helping hand.
Something is missing...isnt it? If staying sober and going to meetings isn't enough, than something is truly missing -I do believe. Meetings is not the end all to recovery, just ask the reformist, they will tell you. We should improve our way of life, far beyond the realms of recovery and any outlet that can put our dreams in motion is worth pursuing. If we don't test the waters beyond our comfort zones, than we're just prolonging our misery. The "pink clouds" in sobriety can only last for so long before our sobriety comes into question. Self loathing can take its toll and can cause a potential relapse, so can a wandering spirit. We should not be afraid to move beyond our neutral boundaries and experience life outside the domain of our own exclusions. A life in recovery is one thing to be admired but a life on the verge of something bigger is never shy of drama.
You can't gauge spiritual growth by years but by degrees. If we continue to grow past the "post alcoholic recovery" stage of our lives, then we should continue to exercise our God given right to be free. We shouldn't withdrawal from the very thing that can define our future -one step at a time. We should attach ourselves to another lifeline as well -far beyond the scope of AA; a lifeline that's not only rewarding, successful and promotes prosperity but one that can bring joy to our lives as well. Basically...we need to expand our horizons past the perimeters of recovery and do so by fulfilling God's plan for our lives -not just our own. A future without the drink should be our primary purpose but a life that's filled with so much promise and the dreams that will ultimately define who we've become -thanks be to God, reveals so much more. The true test of any recovering alcoholic comes the day "after" we put down the drink. That's the day when hope is restored and has been (for this alcoholic) a day that continues to "thrive" in and out "AA" and this fellowship -one dream at a time.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 10th of June 2011 01:45:40 AM
I heard at about 30 days sobriety in a meeting once that "the meaning of life is to serve others." I thought, "Well, that's not gonna work out for me." :) Eleven months later I've come to realize that this statement is true.
"God first, others second, self last."
It is a paradox. When we let go of the incessantly selfish ego, and instead view the universe through giving eyes, we end up receiving the greatest gift- self love. I have all the joy, peace, and serenity in my life that I could have ever imagined, just be letting go of the ego. In doing so I did not lose myself, I found myself.
Since I have discovered my higher power (and don't worry if you haven't yet! all it takes is a willingness to believe, and your higher power will come to you), I have shifted my perception of the world. I realize I have already been given all that I need to carry out my purpose in life. I no longer need to feel there is a void in my life, that I need something external to fill the hole. I am complete. The goal is to allow those gifts to emerge from within me. I do this through prayer, meditation, and letting go.
GOD FIRST OTHERS SECOND SELF LAST
It is simple, but not easy...it takes daily practice, but it leads to a rich and meaningful, life. A fulfilling life, with purpose. AND, as a benefit, the drink is the furthest thing from my mind. The promises do come true. Heather
