I have just started the Big Book.

That's Fantastic, I also read it when I was new, what got my attention was Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism

It's recomended that you get a sponsor to read through this book and work the steps, like it's recomended to wear a parachute when you jump out of a plane, it's literally the difference between life and death

I like the way you say the alcohol was but a symptom.

This statement actually puzzled me for quite awhile early on, then I learned alcohol wasn't "The Problem", alcohol was my SOLUTION to "The Problem", alcohol made me comfortable in my own skin, it made me smile, it made me laugh, it made me brave, I drank and had fun and got laid, it wasn't until alcohol stopped working that I became aware I had a problem, at first I thought my problem was I drank too much, so I went to meetings and quit drinking and slowly but promptly went completely insane, alcohol had been keeping me sane, alcohol had been giving me the tools to cope with life, a sense of ease and comfort and the ability to be around others.

I drank so much that one day I woke up and:

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people.

I thought this was because I drank too much, so I quit drinking, and within a short period of time:

I was having trouble with personal relationships, I couldn't control our emotional natures, I was a prey to misery and depression, I couldn't make a living, I had a feeling of uselessness, I was full of fear, I was unhappy, I couldn't seem to be of real help to other people.

That's when I had my A-HA moment, I had all these things and THAT's why I drank, and since I was an alcoholic, then I couldn't stop, I had an obsession of the mind coupled with an allergy of the body that guaranteed I would drink, more oon this in a minute

I'm still trying to learn what the big problem is.

Well, lack of power is our dilemma, and selfishness, self centeredness is the -root- of our problem, those words didn't turn out to mean what I thought they meant when I read them, I thought selfish was the same as greedy, but greedy is greedy, selfishness and self centeredness mean "consumed with self", as in "I'm not much but I'm all I think about" and even when I was thinking of others, really I was thinking how best to have it turn out so I felt good somehow, a display of honesty and integrity got me respect, being nice to others had them be nice to me, I had to learn virtue was it's -own- reward, or it's not virtue any more, it's manipulation, and my mind started the whole thing off by manipulating me, I had NO idea I was guilty of these behaviors until I worked the steps, which brings me to the steps

The steps contain the answers we seek, it's funny because if someone is a -real- alcoholic, they are also a -textbook- alcoholic, and The Big Book is a textbook which describes us and maps out a -cure- as it were, alcoholism only goes into remission, so it's not -removed- but if one works the steps and continues to do so, one is -recovered-, we have a daily reprieve contingent upon keeping a fit spiritual condition

After I had been in AA for awhile I took a long hard look at EVERY single person with long term sobriety, I asked them even, Did you work the steps, every one of them has worked the steps, they are easy to spot, they handle adversity with grace, they share their experience strength and hope instead of advice, which means they say: this is what it was like, this is what happened, and this is what it's like now NOT "this is what you should do" which we call "sharing outside our experience, or as my old Grandsponsor called it "talking out of your ass"...a BIG no-no in AA

Now the flip side, I asked EVERY single person who drank what happened, and they ALL have "a story", now that "story" ALWAYS boils down to "We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people." or in other words, although they rarely say so, or have the insight to see it, it boiled down to "I was suffering from untreated alcoholism", which abstinence from alcohol and meeting attendance doesn't address, although they are a crucial piece of the puzzle, as in you can't lift weights and hit the stairmaster unless you are at the gym or have on at home, crucial but not complete, so I ask these people who come back, every. single. time.

"Did you work the steps?"

story blah blah work relationship blah

"Did you work the steps?"

hardship, terminal uniqueness, suffering, depression, need better meds, blah blah

"Did you work the steps?"

and finally they get mad at me, admit they didn't, but don't really see the point, so will try attending MORE meetings, they think if they try a little bit harder for a little bit longer they will "get it" this time, "it's different this time, and here's how" they say, and anywhere from a week to nine months later they are drunk again, so we go again:

"Did you work the steps?"

story blah blah work relationship blah

"Did you work the steps?"

hardship, terminal uniqueness, suffering, depression, need better meds, blah blah

the ones that surrender and work the steps become the old timers with long term sobriety, the ones that keep trying it "their way" show improvement but suffer greatly and :

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people.

or in other words, are suffering from untreated alcoholism, which in the absence of alcohol is one of the most miserable existances known to man, so if you are wondering what I am getting at:

People who work the steps get and stay sober and have fun doing so, those that don't ....generally don't make it past a year, sometimes a few years, but it's a miserable existance and a return to alcohol is inevitable, just to stop the pain, one can be suffering from untreated alcoholism and been years without a drink, it's really quite a painful existence, been there done that a few times myself, the repreive is daily, we forget that, we pay dearly