Toni, i'm moved to tears by your pain. with all this you still found time to be a support to me. With all this you still find time to care for yourself. With all this you still work the programme and stay sober. inspirational.
when will prison authorities see that prisoners are people and must be treated as such. Prison is often used as an act of public vengeance, instead of what it should be - to protect the public from harm, to punish the transgressions of the offender and to rehabilitate the offender. Losing one's liberty is punishment enough without the inhumane treatment.
when I was a drinker i used to believe in prison farms, prison workhouses and prison hulks. In sobriety I talked with a family friend, a governor of a high security prison. She said that if you treat prisoners as people, they behave like people and tend to re offend less, because they engage in rehabilitation. but if you treat them as beasts.........
Similarly, a friend in the fellowship has told tales of his time inside in britain and it's truly horrific..........
God Bless you Toni and God Bless David too......I just wish i could take a little bit of your pain away.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I'm sorry Toni. I can feel a bit of that helpless pain you're feeling...I have two grown sons who have been in jail for DUI's and it's such a helpless, painful feeling to know your child is suffering. I'm new at all this but I found that instead of asking God to help my sons I would say, "God I NEED you to help him", then I would envision handing him over to God and then thank God. I had to do this over and over...many times, not just when they were in jail.
God bless you Toni...my heart goes out for you. Prayers that God will help ease your pain. Now Toni, I've been around a while (different SN a while ago) and I know a little about the situation, so I'm gonna get honest with you, with NO intention of hurting you more. Everyone I know, myself included, had to go through the pain and suffering we went through to get where we are at. We all stood at a turning point and made a decision which way to jump. Some of us seemed to jump the right way, and some didn't. True, no one deserves to be treated like an animal, but without consequences, I wouldn't have learned anything. I believe today that everything in life is either a lesson or a blessing. It's up to me (with the help of my HP) to decide which is which. You were given the blessing of sobriety. Maybe this is your son's chance to change. Remember the good old "but for the Grace of God...", because it very well could have been you. I believe that we are all exactly where we are supposed to be at this moment in time. Unfortunately, when I try to take charge, things head south FAST. That's when it's time for me to let go and let God. Pray that God show you how you can grow from this. Pray that He help your son learn the lessons meant for him to learn, without getting in the way. I understand what love for a child is, and can't even begin to imagine how much this must hurt you, but remember, they aren't really OUR children...God has given us the gift of raising another one of His. You know God takes care of ALL His children, and He WILL take care of your son as well.
You've been honest with God, and he has heard and knows your pain. It's very easy for me to think that God is inflicting pain on me by using other who I care about. What I know to be true today is that I'm being selfish to think that others pain and suffering is all about me. I had a niece hit and killed by a drunk driver recently, and my first thought was "why me?" It really wasn't about me at all, and I had no right to try and make it mine. The sad truth is, things happen in other peoples lives that affect us. All I could do was try and find where I fit into the picture, and let those affected most know I was there for them if they needed me. Find where you fit, stay strong, and keep praying dear Toni. The strength and answers will come...but it's Gods timing, not ours.
With a heart full of love dear Toni...
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Dear Toni, I know it seems like you plate is full with this and your health, but God will be by your side in this. I really am moved by this and by the great wisdom given above. I can't add more, but I will add prayers. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I was referring only to the Visual, if I had read only, I would not have Posted. As I mentioned I have a very visual mind....that is what seemed to rip open this wound.
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 27th of May 2011 07:36:54 AM
I woke up this morning feeling like I had been kicked in the stomach.....I do not recall in my Post asking for a critical evaluation of my words.....I thought we were suppose to express our expieriences, strengh and hope, and not give others unsolicited advice.....all done in such a "seemingless loving way"
So brian this was NEVER about me, it was about the suffering of another human being.....ask any mother to envision that - they probably could..
I dont post much here anymore, if you dont dot your "i" or cross every "t", someome will imediately point that out.
Interesting how you were so critical, and offering a warm hug at the same time, it reminded me of someone tht also has that "Gift". And to offer it in God's name......'
Just happy to be feeling better and so grateful to be SOBER!
Toni...It's good to hear you're alive and well, so "please"stay that way. You've come a long way dear and we're certainly proud to call you our friend. Please...remember that "you are loved" and the bond "we" share and the lives "we've" transformed have become far greater than anyone could imagine. The sentiment that best describes how we feel is "grateful", which has been echoed many times throughout your sobriety, especially this forum. We wish you the best -as always, one day at a time.
Now...about those comments. If they seem to be overly critical or indelicate -Toni, then we owe you an apology. You've been through a horrific ordeal and obviously have a lot on your plate, especially with the amount of adversity and uncertainty you're going through. Please... remember to stay the course regardless of how you feel. There's one thing I'm certain of dear and that is this: You've been inspirational to us from the very beginning and have been a tremendous asset to those individuals who still suffer with any life debilitating illness (like cancer) and have proved beyond all measure of doubt, your devotion, undying love and support for your son. That devotion can fuel our desire to question someones motives and why they seem so unattractive at times but the pains of emotional distress and what your son is going through can be far worse -for any alcoholic, if it causes us to lose so much more than previously imagined. So, This begs the question: 'What happens from here'.
Ah...those moments where impetuous dialogue can over shadow the need to be loved. I don't think the actions of anyone can reflect our true selves, especially if it's unintentional. There is a defining message in anyone's story or opinion, even though that message may sometimes come across the wrong way. Messages of faith, hope and freedom are shared with the same good intentions as does ones with a more surreal tone, regardless of how indelicate it may sound. Please... allow us the privilege of regaining your trust and confidence once again, supporting you in an every phase of recovery -now and always. You have a special place in my heart and nothing -including apathy, can ever change that. Rest assured, Toni, that God is in charge and is working out his intentions for not only yourself but for your son as well -one prayer at a time.
~God bless~
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 27th of May 2011 10:49:12 PM
"I can'y begin to express how badly I feel Toni. I obviously misread something and should have just left well enough alone. Please know that you and your son are both in my prayers by name, and will continue to be. I meant no harm, and was trying to speak from a place of love for another of my recovering family. God bless you both..."
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
My taking my post off, Brain it was not any word you spoke, it was (as you put it, making an assumption, that you probably should not have, left it alone and not commented)
I really hope you "get" this, it was about making a Judgment....
If you go back and re read, any or all my posts or replies, dont believe you will ever catch me making a judgment.....
LB talks about this all the time. we bring our own Expierence, Strength and Hope........
Emotions can run red hot and excuiating.....but I am always open to feel them and wait for it to pass, by morning it had turned into a different emotion....and today being Sunday, feels great all by itself.
Wow, I was blown away by reading this post. I definitely have been in situations when I just needed support and encouragement to get through a time in my life that seemed like pure hell. I have two young children. I cant even begin to imagine what this feels like for you. Just know others can show you love and concern when you choose supportive people to have in your life. I pray for you and God to give you strength to bear something so unbearable. God uses others to help us through times when we feel we cant hold up. I love the saying "Let us Love you until you are able to Love yourself" I dont want to sound like I am giving advice. I hate that feeling myself when I just need to support. I just pray for you I often find out when I dont get what I need from God or from others it is because I have shut myself down in someway, which is totally normal during upbearably painful times. Threre are no words for the pain you must be feeling. Let us know how you are doing. I am glad there has been some progress made in your mood. Love, Allie
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