It's been nine days without running to the glass of wine to numb myself. I could use some encouragement please. I'm very happy I haven't drank, but I'm feeling a little depressed.
When I was first getting sober I can't tell you how many times I decided I could have "just one." somehow after that one it never seemed like a problem to have another one.... Or two... Or five...
My alcohol withdrawals weren't too bad. I have heard of instances -very few though- where the withdrawals didn't behave so politely. If your withdrawal symptoms seem to be too overbearing or throes your body off balance at any time, I would suggest seeking help from a qualified professional, besides recovery forums, who can help alleviate that suffering. There are many avenues towards achieving lasting serenity and finding a sober outlet that can encourage us even through the "ebbs and flows" of life is a good start. You've done just that and now it's time to remind you about the joys of sobriety and what can lie ahead.
My sober friends remind me daily, that "more will be revealed in time"; as long as I remain in the process of recovering, from whatever ails me that is. Alcohol Never took away the pain, neither did the thoughts of suicide; However, what did become apparently clear -as the prospect of living a clean and sober life became more of a reality, not just an afterthought- and that is this; Life... has meaning and a purpose filled life reveals so much more.
When I renewed my sense of purpose and refocused all my energies on remaining true to myself and not so much to others, I began rewriting the script to what has become the eye opening yet purposed filled life I am experiencing now. Seek out help from whatever avenue possible -professional or AA- and start rewriting the script; enjoying each God given moment, safe, sober and in the loving arms of those who do care, especially your families.
~God Bless~
"Sometimes...you find your destiny on the road you took to avoid it" Excerpt from the movie "The International"
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 20th of May 2011 11:28:35 PM
It seems to me that I work so hard at not drinking and once I have a couple and its twice as hard the next time to start again. I think the main thing is not to give up trying. The people on this site are a great group of people and I'm glad I fond it.
Yes. "We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, their reliance upon thing human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve." AA book pg XXVI. This is why I cannot drink any alcohol. Once I accepted this, my repeated experiments to prove that I could drink like other people stopped.
I'm not able to tell you why you can't have a glass of wine.
But, I'm an alcoholic. So, I can tell you what will happen to me if *I* have a glass of wine.
If I have that glass of wine, I have another. My well-read, fairly well-educated mind will tell me that it's OK to have just on more. And then another. And another. When the wine runs out, I'll have to find something else to drink.
I'll probably wind up insulting friends and family, both in person over the phone or e-mail, pissing on the floor or the bed, waking up trying to remember what I did last and feeling like I've been hit by a high-speed locomotive, having my wife actually hate me and tell me that, feeling like I want to, struggling into work reeking and struggling to get through the day, so that I can then head to the pub and get just one drink, a bit of the hair of the dog...and that's the best case scenario.
On balance, I think it's not a good idea for me to have a glass of wine. I'm an alcoholic.
And thanks to AA, I don't have to have a glass of wine today. :)
I don't have the big book. I am reading The Courage to Change and I have a read a book geared toward the 12 steps for women. Should I do the steps on this site?
Aloha Kate...the best suggestion I got was to do the steps with a sponsor who had the time and the experience in recovery to share with me. I like to think along the line of Aquaman's byline...I alone can do it and I can't do it alone. This is a program of humility and I have learned that humility is being teachable. Alcohol is a depressant and if you are feeling depressed it could be the lost of a habit and what you use to do in that habit...like drink a depressant. Could be grieving the lost of alcohol and the mind set and belief that you could and weren't that bad off with it...Could be other stuff also and if you drink you will still be working the habit rather than something different. Like Bill said from the program "one is too many and 12 not enough"...When you drink you go backwards not forward to some new freedom. For me to drink is to die. If it's got alcohol in it...I'm doing something else.
Congradulations on the dry time...what's the next step? ((((hugs))))
I got a copy of Courage to Change and use it daily almost and that piece of literature isn't about not drinking. Go get a copy of the Big Book today. I believe the most expensive you will find is $8.00?
Yes it is normal to be depressed because you now have to deal with the feelings you were self-medicating with alcohol. If you don't stay sober though the depression will always be there and you will never get true resolution. That is why you cannot just have a glass of wine (among other reasons - primarily that 1 glass leads to 2 to 3 and so on and so forth).
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I would highly suggest getting to some AA meetings and finding a female sponsor to guide you thru the 12 steps.
Im sorry, I cant really remind you why you shouldn't have a glass of wine. But Id like to thank you for reminding me why I cant have a glass of wine. See, Im an alcoholic ... Im a real alcoholic. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I pick up a drink, Im gonna die.
^^^ what happycamper said. There's really no substitute for interacting with real people who share your problem. Try a meeting that is geared toward Newcomers, they usually have time set aside for people to ask beginner-type questions.
For me that one drink was just the key to the cage where the 600 lbs Gorilla resides, once unleashed anything can happen, almost always very bad. He's still locked in his cage waiting for me to forget everything I've learned and set him free to wreak havoc once more. There's no situation so bad that a drink can't make it worse. When I'm temped to set him free I remember the simple lesson I was taught and think the drink through. When I think it through, the consequences are never pretty, so I decide not to drink today. When you do that long enough the desire to drink fades.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Yep, the only thing that's every worked for me is the AA program. I tried it online at first, cause I was just too scared and humiliated to go to a meeting. I finally got the courage up to go into a face to face meeting. I'm glad that I did.
It's been said by others, but the best thing to do is *if* you want to want to stop drinking, do 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor of your own gender (someone whose sobriety you like and whom you trust) and work the steps with the sponsor. You've already been given a link to the Big Book, so you're on your way! :) If you don't like one meeting, try and another. This is a wide fellowship and in my own experience, there is a place for everyone who wants to stop. :)
