So today I took my Mum up to Scotland for her sister's funeral. Georgina (Ina) was nearing 91 years old when she departed this life and Mum (Jean 85) and her sister Nettie (Elizabeth 81) are the lst of their family.
My sister and her husband took their car and we all piled in. A total of 8 hours round trip driving and I'm in agony, the VW Toe Rag is the most uncomfortable car I've ever ridden in.
Anyway, we got there in good time but it hurt me to see Mum so upset - what was I expecting though, that she wouldn't give a fig? As ever at a scotticsh church funeral, (this one held at the Kirk of the Covenanters, on top of the hill also known as the church with the red door, Covenanter's churches were always built on the top of the hill, the doors are always red to act as a beacon for travellers from one village to another) the coffin was before the altar when we arrived, such a small box, the hymns were hard to get through, especially the last one, The Old Rugged Cross, a favourite of the three sisters, but Ina had a sense of humour so we walked out to Glenn Miller's In The Mood. Auntie Ina spent a lot of time at dances during the was and was a great fan of swing bands.
The coffin was lowered into the grave by Ina's family, her daughter and son in law, both grandsons, 2 nephews, a brother in law and the undertaker in charge of it all. A beautiful grave side service and the cemetery looks out over the hills and valleys of Ayrshire, high above the old pit village of Dalmellington.
I put Mum in Cousin Torrance's car with her sister Nettie and brother in law Jim and then walked down the hill, in a fine, misting rain which had a cleansing effect to me and hid my tears for my ma. The funeral tea was in the bowling club. Last time I was in there I was 14 years old with my Auntie Bettie's Dad, Auld Sandy, playing dominos and yep, drinking 60 shilling light beer.
The village has been pretty run down since the pit shut and the Jaeger factory left, but it's picking up a wee bit and still looks as beautiful to me as I remember from all those childhood holidays.
Mum was already seated by the time I got there and was so shaky she could barely take her soup (another traditon, ham and lentil soup after a funeral), but she picked it up and got her nerve back, she had some tears and of course wouldn't let them flood out - because she didn't want to upset me, silly auld bugger.
In the midst of this I got a call with some bad news for me, some news that means I'll need to regroup and redirect my life from here on.
And now, we're back at mum's house and I sent her to her bed at 9 pm (it's 10:15 pm now) and I'll be leaving here tomorrow at 8 am. Meanwhile SeaSick Steve's on the TV.
Yes, it's been a hard day and one I don't want to repeat too soon, but thank you God for the gift of sobriety and the ability and the will to help others.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
My condolences...Bill. We'll be here to support you and offer up words of encouragement -as always.
As you already know, the death of an anyone is never in vain. The prospect of losing a member of our extended family is always painful but in no way coincidental. The reasons behind our struggles in life and in death still remain a mystery but the message of hope and freedom will continue on -despite our losses. Thanks...for reminding us of that.
