Please help...I don't know what's wrong with me....

TipsyMcstagger · Senior Member

Please help...I don't know what's wrong with me....

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

Tipsy, we don't have your answers, you do, or your "higher power" does or your inner child self thingy or whatever does.

Work the steps

seriously, makes no sense, but want to quit drinking?

work the steps

want to stop wrecking your life?

work the steps

want to be happy, joyous and free?

work the steps

want serenity and the tools to navigate life?

work the steps

it's awful watching people standing in front of a door they are stuck outside of, in the rain, thunder, lightning, watching them suffer and just saying over and over and over "reach out and turn the doorknob", they call in safecrackers, eastern mystics, pole vaulting specialists, they bash their head on the door hurting themselves trying to get in, and we just stand there....reach out and turn the doorknob...."can't you just HELP me get through the door?????"

no, you got to do it yourself, reach out and turn the doorknob

then the weather gets nice for a few days or a few weeks, they decide they never needed to get through the door in the first place, until the next "dark and stormy night", the next snow storm...

willingness, open minded, honesty, work the steps, or it's going to end poorly, and it's going to take a LONG time to do so

up to you, you know where the doorknob is, you gotta be the one to reach out and turn it, look, I realize it makes NO F'ing sense, it really doesn't but it works, it really does

leeu · MIP Old Timer

When I do stuff like that I am always distanced from my higher power and drowning in the arrogance of self-pity. I needed some good therapy in addition to A.A./steps/sobriety in order to crawl out of the self-harm hole I was in. The combination enabled me to get a grip and develop some self-esteem within my core. And I learned by practicing the 12th step that my spirit is always uplifted when I reach out and help somebody else by practicing our principles and carrying our message.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

That seems to be a habit that needs to be changed Tip...As LB mentions the solutions lay with you learning new habits...ones that fit for you which are different than the ones you're complaining about. There are requirements such as "If you are willing and have the capacity to be honest."

You post title was my complaint also...my response was given to me by others who I sat with and in front of for 90 days of meetings...some days one and some days more than one. I drove, walked, hitched rides and accepted lifts from the membership. I found the answer for me and the problem isn't near as large as it use to be. The short of it..."My only problem is me and the only solution is God." I find God loves to hang out in recovery.

Keep coming back more often. (((hugs))) smile

TwelveSteps · Senior Member

LinBaba wrote:
it's awful watching people standing in front of a door they are stuck outside of, in the rain, thunder, lightning, watching them suffer and just saying over and over and over "reach out and turn the doorknob", they call in safecrackers, eastern mystics, pole vaulting specialists, they bash their head on the door hurting themselves trying to get in, and we just stand there....reach out and turn the doorknob...."can't you just HELP me get through the door?????"
no, you got to do it yourself, reach out and turn the doorknob

I LOVE the way you put that!!!

GG

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

When you want it bad enough and you are ready to grow up...you will go to any lengths necessary. All of us could have (and probably did) make the same statement you just wrote on here until we finally started working the program to the best of our ablility.

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

TM, It' fear of success and then failure. We're comfortable with failure. It's the acheivinq then losinq that we're not cool with. With us it's better to have never loved at all then to have loved and lost.

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

I don't think anyone tries to sabotage their sobriety on purpose, even though this disease might try to convince us otherwise. I experienced similar feelings, 10 years ago, after my relapse and the guilt and shame, back then, became too much to bear. So, without any real strategy in place, those feelings continued -so did my drinking.

What would cause someone -like myself- to drink again, knowing full well what the consequences would be if I did; That was a question I asked myself, time and time again. I did decide to continue my drinking ways -on many occasions, throughout the years- and the reasons why varied. Guilt and shame did prolong the suffering but my higher power and the voice of AA prevailed in the end- as always.

The urge to drink never really subsided for me, even over time. A good sober environment that promotes healing and wholeness will always pay dividends in the end; that other outlets simply cannot. I discovered the importance of developing a relationship with individuals we can have a rapport with on a personal level, thus eliminating the prospect of always having to resort to my old behaviors like drinking - to quell those uneasy feelings. This was my turning point and one that set my mind straight, regardless of how guilty or shameful I became.

Taking the first step is paramount in revitalizing our efforts to reclaim our sober life one day at a time. When we talk out our problems with those in a sober network, like AA or forums like this one; we can finally move on past our problems and find the alternative solutions to deal with those frustrations other than drinking - God willing. You've taken the necessary steps towards healing and wholeness, by allowing this fellowship the opportunity of getting to know you and we can now offer our assistance towards reclaiming your worth - one day at a time. Welcome to MIP aww

~God bless~

-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 16th of May 2011 11:49:47 PM

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Turn the door knob by praying to "whatever is good in the universe" and asking that power for help. You can not help your self. You are powerless. Get beyond the pride of depending on yourself. How has that worked?
I just said a little prayer to my HP in hopes He will contact your HP.
Tom

Klaatu · Senior Member

Some people have a higher tolerance for pain than others. I think when you've had enough pain, you'll discover that you already have the answer your looking for. Sadly, some peoples pain tolerance is so high that they die before they realize how bad they are hurting. Don't ignore the pain tipsy...

Brian

cooncatbob · Senior Member

McStagger:
You've were hanging around here with the same sob story in 05 when I found this site.
Over the years you've been given a lot of good advise by members with a lot of quality sobriety, all of which you've failed to act upon.
My opinion is you're either an internet Troll who gets a thrill messing with the alkies, your really stupid and can't follow simple instructions or your a poster child for chapter 5 of the Big Book and you're just constitutionally incapable of being honest with yourself.
What ever your problem is it's probably beyond the scope of a self-help forum.
I truly feel sorry for you and hope you get the help you need.

-- Edited by cooncatbob on Tuesday 17th of May 2011 04:53:38 PM

-- Edited by cooncatbob on Tuesday 17th of May 2011 06:15:53 PM

Klaatu · Senior Member

cooncatbob wrote:
McStagger:
You've were hanging are here with the same sob story in 05 when I found this site.
Over the years you've been given a lot of good advise by members with a lot of quality sobriety, all of which you've failed to act upon.

+1

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Yo Tipsy,
I actually agree with Cooncat and Klatu above. However, over the years, you have shown very high intelligence, a great sense of humor, and every once in a while--vulnerability and genuine need. In case you really need help at this time, I would say you should read Lin Baba's post above again. I know you and I have gone down the "spiritual spiral" before. The bottom line is that the program is based on having a spiritual enlightenment and that involves starting a relationship with a higher power at some point. Have you tried some form of contact with your HP? Are you trying to outsmart the program??

cooncatbob · Senior Member

I don't mean so sound harsh, but this a simple program for complicated people.
They are no short cuts, there's no softer easier way.
If you don't do Step 1 and surrender your never ever going to get to Step 2.
Step 1 is the only step you have to work perfectly.
Without working Step 1, further recovery is not possible.
I see that McStagger has posted just once, this is his typical MO and why I suspect his sincerity.
All I got to say is it's time to either Shit or get off the Pot.

There's too many people out there who really want recovery to waste time with a fence sitter.

-- Edited by cooncatbob on Wednesday 18th of May 2011 11:34:46 AM

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

I'm with you Cooncat, but for McStagger, just in case, "We'll leave the light on for ya"

Klaatu · Senior Member

cooncatbob wrote:

All I got to say is it's time to either Shit or get off the Pot.
There's too many people out there who really want recovery to waste time with a fence sitter.

-- Edited by cooncatbob on Wednesday 18th of May 2011 11:34:46 AM

+1 Couldn't have put it better myself.

Brian

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

I think Bob is riqht about TM just trollinq us all of these years. http://www.drunkard.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=34306

Klaatu · Senior Member

Interesting find Dean. Let's see if he comes back and tries to explain that away.

Brian

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

I don't think that's necessarily an indictment, I suspect if one searched hard enough and long enough they could find drunken humor based crap I have posted on the internet, actually him blabbing on a site about how great drinking is qualifies him to be here rather then otherwise

I mean I agree with the whole "shit or get off the pot" approach here, I mean it's like if I had diabetes and went to a diabetes site for 6 years and asked what to do what to do gosh my toes all turned black and fell off when the truth is I know damn well what to do especially if the peeps on the diabetes site had been telling me for 6 years what to do, at that point I am reminded if I tell 3 people about a "problem" I have and don't take action, I am not looking for solution, I am looking for attention, I am looking for someone to co-sign my bullshit, whether he is coming here to stir the pot (humor) or truly is suffering, the truth is it's attention seeking either way, willingness without action is fantasy

Want help? Far out get off your ass

want humor? far out, Facebook me, I post funny shit all day long, much of it inappropriate

HeatherK · Veteran Member

Tipsy McStagger,
Ever consider changing your name?
Just a thought.
Heather

cooncatbob · Senior Member

When I was 16 we would be drinking and doing drugs in the middle of the night and 1 of us would call the AA hot line while the others listen in and give a big BS sob story, the person on the other end offer to help us get to a meeting and then we'd hang up and laugh.
I find it ironic to be on the other end now.
McStagger used to post consistently then he'd get pissed off when someone called him out on his BS and cuss them out, he'd be gone for 6 months and they come back with either a ass full of arrows or BS and do it all over again.
Now he just does a post or 2 then disappears for months.
Whether he's a real alcoholic or just a Troll I can't say for certain, but I can say that he probably needs more help then he can get on a self help site.

TwelveSteps · Senior Member

StPeteDean wrote:
I think Bob is riqht about TM just trollinq us all of these years. http://www.drunkard.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=34306

Hold on. I'm sure he's not the only person to have made up that pseudonym. People are here to support you, but none of us can fix you -- only you can do the work. GG

cooncatbob · Senior Member

TwelveSteps wrote:
StPeteDean wrote:
I think Bob is riqht about TM just trollinq us all of these years. http://www.drunkard.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=34306

Hold on. I'm sure he's not the only person to have made up that pseudonym. People are here to support you, but none of us can fix you -- only you can do the work. GG

When somebody post just once asking for help then doesn't respond to any of the replies, that isn't a sign of somebody seeking help.

This has been going on for years.