I gotta say I miss the contact with my wife. Although the relationship was sick for so long, wasn't going anywhere and was overdue to end, I still miss the contact. Which is very different from actually missing someone. I barely give her a passing thought these days.

There is someone else who I miss desperately. We cannot be in each others company, cannot make contact with each other, for reasons not for this board. One of her favourite sayings was never give up on a good thing you can't go a day without thinking about. And I haven't gone a day without thinking, actively thinking, about her since we spilt up.

Sometimes, especially to begin with it was a source of almost unbearable pain. Now it's with a smile, it's kinda comforting. I remember so much about her. Her beautiful eyes, her soft skin, the stretch marks on her belly (!), the shape of her calf muscles when she walked, the way she slowly smiled, the way she smelt, the cut of her hair, the throaty chuckle, the belly laugh, the giggle, the way she'd relax, the shape of her nails and fingers, the quick wit, the trust she showed in me, the honesty she gave to me (which grew all the time), the sureness of her faith, her willingness to see the best in people and to forgive, the way her face looked when she was sad or frightened or puzzled or amused, the pride and joy she took in her kids, the way she ate, always starting in a rush to choke it down as quick as possible, then the sudden slow down, no need to rush.

Hey, it makes me smile and makes the separation that little bit easier, day by day.