I admitted to my home group and my sponser I was drinking daily. I got my 24 hour coin. I have receieved a great deal of support and encouragement. It was a very difficult process to admit since I was also going to meetings everyday. My roommate is in my homegroup. She is now trying to decide if she wants me to continue to be her roommate. I have told her there will be no hard feelings by me if she wants me to move. Of course I have no where to go at this point. I knew getting honest would be difficult but that it could save my life and keep my drinking to get worse. I also knew it could effect my housing. I am a nervous wreck. My sponser and I are doing my first step again. Thanks for encouraging me to get honest in my last topic called controlled drinking. I now have 2 full days of sobriety. That is such a huge accomplishment since I was really questioning myself and my ability to ask for help from God and from others. Allie
I admitted to my home group and my sponser I was drinking daily. I got my 24 hour coin. I have receieved a great deal of support and encouragement. It was a very difficult process to admit since I was also going to meetings everyday. My roommate is in my homegroup. She is now trying to decide if she wants me to continue to be her roommate. I have told her there will be no hard feelings by me if she wants me to move. Of course I have no where to go at this point. I knew getting honest would be difficult but that it could save my life and keep my drinking to get worse. I also knew it could effect my housing. I am a nervous wreck. My sponser and I are doing my first step again. Thanks for encouraging me to get honest in my last topic called controlled drinking. I now have 2 full days of sobriety. That is such a huge accomplishment since I was really questioning myself and my ability to ask for help from God and from others. Allie
((((hugs))))
One of the things I have found is when I turned my will and my life over to the care of God, God actually provided, now being an agnostic and atheist this surprised me, but for some reason it seems to work, and it continues to work, when I abandoned myself to God, I was cared for
Keep on keeping on and it will get better, my experience and that of millions of other alcoholics will confirm this abundantly
Good job, I am proud of you
__________________
it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Aloha Allie...you're on it; inside the door and on the journey. Thanks for the Experience, Strength and hope. You are displaying willingness and the capacity to be honest and that is what I was told was needed and that is what I watch the elders in sobriety work and find sobriety themselves. I will not do what doesn't work and so you are more support that it works.
What I learned early on in recovery and which took time to get from my head to my feet was the words and then the understanding and then the practice of "Trust God, clean house and help others." When I accepted and learned that and then practiced it there was no where I couldn't go within this program and progressive sobriety which has given me a life I never knew existed or could have for myself. I had to change my thinking...(and everything else) to get from the "no where" to the "any where" and by working this program of recovery that is now not a thought anymore but a belief and practice. I get to choose where I want to go...run it thru the filter of this program of recovery and then move on it. You've been doing that for the last 2 days. It works when you work it huh? In support (((((hugs)))))
So happy you were able to break throught what was holding you back.
I did that same thing, for seven years, went to a Newcomers meeting, raised my hand and said "my name is Toni, and I am an Alcoholic, and drank last night, or at lunchtime. Always got my white chip and all the love in the whole wide world from all. there were so many old timers there too, same thing, a big warm hug, and said happy you are here. Keep coming back.
So it takes what it takes, just keep telling on yourself, and I Pray it wont take 7 years, but hey, 7 is way better that 14 years....time just take time.
Congratulations on that big breakthrough. Crashing right through your FEARS and be honest.
Lots of love to you dear,
Tonicakes
-- Edited by Just Toni on Thursday 5th of May 2011 07:16:31 PM
Hi Allie, qlad that you made it back IN the proqram. I relapsed about 10 times in the first 2 years. Thinqs qot a lot worse. Experienced a lot of "Yets". AA had truly ruined my drinkinq and I was miserable. I had to resiqn myself to do everythinq that I had heard anyone else do to stay sober. All the suqqestions, I did them (except prison meetinqs).
I remember my first 30 days sober...it certainly was an experience -so to say. My most vivid recollection of that time was the feelings of confusion, doubt and uncertainty. There were, of course, those horrible shakes as well. My hands shook so bad that, I could not bring a glass of water to my mouth to drink it; I had to lap it with my tongue -like a dog- instead. How embarrassing... Well... times have changed since then, thanks to the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. I hope you continue to achieve lasting sobriety, "one day at a time".
Congrats...on being sober for 2 days. God Bless......
-- Edited by Mr_David on Friday 6th of May 2011 12:31:52 AM
