going through a tough time at present, been getting plenty of meetings and doing service on sunday as secretary. I need to find a new sponsor. Will it count that I am up to step 5 or will I need to start again? I did not do the fourth step with my initial sponsor and am really glad I didn't. She has just broken my anonymity professionally. This is not of huge importance to me, (most people know I am an alcoholic) and all people that matter have been supportive and though this was annoying, I would have been far more devastated had it been issues on the fourth. I have some members around me and last night I did out a gratitude list and got focused again.
You know I even feel better after having posted this, though I don't think I am going to go into business with Bella Duncan, I am a bad proposition for her, just made a loss this year, how bad, I'm sober.
Hi Maire, Just wanted to say thankyou for sharing your experience strength and hope. If I follow the quiet still voice inside it always takes me to the right choice in all areas of my life.
" Will it count that I am up to step 5 or will I need to start again? "...........
Hi Maire, Thats a good question that in my opinion probably gets asked alot ,or at least thought about a lot. I been around for 10+ years, have had a few sponsers, and have sponsered a few guys. The way I see it is that our book ( our program ) was to get us in touch with a power that would solve our problem, and if no human power can solve our problem, its really not up to a sponser what I do or dont do. The steps are mine to do as I please. My steps are mine, and yours are yours. More then a few time I have written out an inventory, and asked someone who was not " my sponser " to sit and do a fifth with me. The way I see it, steps 1,2,3 are conclutions of the mind based on my experence, and although I needed guidence in the beginning, I dont no. If I have launched out on a cource of vigourus action and have an invintory in hand, I'll be damned if I'm gonna let someone else tell me I have to go back to the beginning just to message their ego and illution of control. Every guy I have asked to sit down and share my fifth with that was not technicly " my sponser " was honnered to do so, and vice versa, and the experience was alway electric and spiritual. Anyway thats my experence, maybe some of it will fit you, maybe not, but thats what is so cool about our program and God, we can do what ever we want, and we can do it for as long as we can stand it. And when we cant stand it any more, the steps will lead me to the loving hand of God...
And I'm with you about that Bella Duncan thing. Peace..
-- Edited by billyjack on Thursday 28th of April 2011 08:25:12 AM
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Since it cost a lot to win, and even more to loose, you and me gotta spend some time just wondering what to choose.
Thank you for the post Maire. One of my sponsee's broke my anonymity recently as well. Looks like your handling that part well. I, like you, have found all people that matter have been supportive and already knew there was a problem. It's no secret who I am today. I've found the further I get into recovery, the more open I am about who I am. The people who matter don't care & the one's who care don't matter.
On the Step question. Steps 1-3 are the introductions Steps & can be completed in 1 session if the student is ready: Honest, Open & Willing. I've been taught it's important to complete Step 3 together(Sponsor & Sponsee). It builds a Spiritual and emotional bound. It also holds the Sponsee accountable. So doing this again with a new Sponsor should not that time consuming. It sounds like you've done(written) an honest and thorough 4 Step as outline in the BB? Step 4 might just be a review with the new Sponsor and then onto Step 5.
Hi Maire, without knowing exactly what you're going through, I can say that you are exactly where you need to be in your recovery. Usually in my experience when things get disjointed, challenging, and confusing, I need to connect with my Higher Power, pray, meditate, and do the next right thing. Usually, the next right thing appears before me almost without effort.
Don't stress over the sponsor thing. If you are feeling solid on your first steps you know that you are not alone, your Higher Power is with you, you probably have a strong group of fellows in the program, and you are attending meetings. After you pray and ask your God to help you find a new sponsor, listen carefully at the next meetings you attend and see if there is anyone who you really connect with and like her message. You can always ask someone to be your temporary sponsor, or if you feel it is the right match, ask the person to be your sponsor and guide you through the steps. I think each sponsor will approach working with you in a slightly different way, so I cannot be sure if your next sponsor will have you start over. Starting over is not necessarily a bad thing, and can help you bond with your new sponsor and solidify your steps you have worked. Probably you will work through the first 3 quickly, go over your 4th step with sponsor, and then can choose someone to work your fifth step with, either your sponsor or someone else you trust.
If you have a strong faith, this process will be much more natural and comfortable, and I think the answer will present itself to you! :) Best wishes! Heather
Thanks all, your insights have been really helpful and I appreciate this. I had the loveliest phone call from an old timer, a lady who has been around a long time and she was so positive and told me how well she thought I was doing. I knew she knew what had happened but we didn't need to bitch about it or go into any detail. It happened some time ago that someone was criticising this lady and I was very firm in my positive opinion of her as she has never shown anything except kindness to me. It just shows, stick with the winners.
You are going to be working and living these steps the rest of your life so it doesn't matter if you start over really. It will just mean a deeper understanding of the steps you worked before if that is the case.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 29th of April 2011 12:25:14 AM
-- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 29th of April 2011 09:32:53 AM
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
whooahh pink chip, just to clarify, I changed my name from newcomer to around a while, and then to Maire rua. something happened with my account and I could not get back into same. My sober date is 24 September 2009. My first post as Maire rua was Dec 28th, and I am 46, you might clarify to board of your error. Though I wish I could take the age 42 part.
-- Edited by maire rua on Friday 29th of April 2011 06:03:43 AM
I had the loveliest phone call from an old timer, a lady who has been around a long time and she was so positive and told me how well she thought I was doing. I knew she knew what had happened but we didn't need to bitch about it or go into any detail. It happened some time ago that someone was criticising this lady and I was very firm in my positive opinion of her as she has never shown anything except kindness to me. It just shows, stick with the winners.
God does work in mysterious ways...thanks for reminding me of that.
