I'm a year and a half sober and feel so lost. I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. I feel empty in the few relationships I do have and I don't know what my life goals are anymore because I have changed so much since completing the 12 steps. Has anyone else felt this way?
Any replies will be much appreciated.
Lisa
All I can say is if you look in the mirror and you don't recognise yourself its probably because your a far better person than you were when you walked into the recovery program. 18 months is a weird time to, hell sobriety can be weird all the way through, but at least it's interesting today aye ?. Back in the day it was never interesting , it was actually pretty repititive and boring, man gets drunk, man does stupid stuff, man feels bad blah blah yawn yawn. I'm sending you some positive love in the form of the words..................
It gets better, keep coming back we are all in the same boat ( recovery)
All I can say is if you look in the mirror and you don't recognise yourself its probably because your a far better person than you were when you walked into the recovery program. 18 months is a weird time to, hell sobriety can be weird all the way through, but at least it's interesting today aye ?. Back in the day it was never interesting , it was actually pretty repititive and boring, man gets drunk, man does stupid stuff, man feels bad blah blah yawn yawn. I'm sending you some positive love in the form of the words..................
It gets better, keep coming back we are all in the same boat ( recovery)
nearly 5 years in myself and only just accepting that the man looking back form the mirror is me. Only just learning that the 2 biggest problems I have are romance and finance. I'm sitting on a field path im the morning sun with a Scottish deerhound and the wild birds for company. A dog gives you real unconditional love. Wish I'd learnt this sooner. Keep going it gets better. It just takes time work and Faith.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Well, depending on who these relationships you talking about are with, there could be many diff reasons you feel empty, and lost.
When I was a year or so sober, I remember feeling somewhat confused too. It seemed like I had done alot of changing and the ppl in my life .. possibly hubby, friends, family had not changed. Hmmm... were they suppose to? NO. I was doing the changing, not them. And by me changing my outlook, attitude, thinking, behaviors, etc, it would help me in dealing with everyone in my life. That is what the steps are about ... they help me deal with my life on a day to day basis. They are not meant to be worked just one time and forgotten.
When I am feeling lost, or confused, it is mostly because I have lacked practice on step 11 ... making and keeping that close conscious contact with God ... Him, the One with all the Power. I need His guidance and strength.
I have found that when I change the way Im looking at things ... the things ( and this includes ppl ) Im looking at change
Wow did that ever stir a memory, and not a favorite on either, just between the 1st year and the 2nd, recall how confused I felt about who I was, I also had worked to Steps, almost all of them, my focus was to do ANYHING and EVERYTHING not to return to that dismal failure of a life with this grim, life taking disease, my relationship with a husband that did not know me anymore that is what he was always saying, he made a statement one day that Floored me, I want my "other" wife back, um? did not respond but he must have meant the drunk.....we did divorce, but it does take time Lisa, staying close in the Program, keeping ph. numbers handy and the big one, the Sponsor, hopefully you have a good one...
This board is meant for venting, so vent away, anytime. as as someone just said, this is truly a WE program, we do this one day at a time, and it seems to work, look to the future, and you will get through what might be "growing pains" that is how I recall that specific period of time. It Does Pass....
Welcome Lisa! Glad to have you here with us. I've recently had a bout with the emptiness, confusion and relationships. Relationships with others is currently the toughest part of recovery for me. Especially; the one's close to me: wife and kids.
I would spiral inward with obessive thoughts and get myself all twisted looking for answers. Being an Alcoholic; I need to know right now.
Then I got clarity- through some literature I was reading. It was Step 2..... I was trying to stop the insanity of my mind, but I'm not powerful enough to do that. That's why I'm here. I somehow lost the believe in my HP(Step 2). Step 2- Believing that a HP could restore me to sanity- why didn't I remember that??? A huge weight lifting from me. God could & would if he were sought. I went on to Step 3- back in the passenger seat where I belong. God is driving.
Life gets better when I sit where I should...........
Perhaps the last relationships are not reflecting a change in the caliber of person you ought to be dating. Took a while of me going after the same losers before I realized I had much more going for me and I raised my standards.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
