Most of us have heard this in AA meetings.  I heard it fairly early on, and for some reason I got it.  You hear the same idea expressed many different ways, i.e. "simple pleasures" and all that, but this particular wording sunk in to me.  LinBaba mentions it in his post, i.e. happiness lies in the ordinary.

Because the web of life is a process, events are just markers on that web - fleeting little stick-pins to mark highs (or lows) of heightened awareness and memory.  If we are not happy with the web of our daily lives, we're not going to be happy.  Even the events we crave and anticipate will fail to satisfy, or if they do, we'll be stuck with the letdown once they pass.  And they sure do pass by quickly!

I guess I got this concept because my life up to that point had been so defined by events.  I was obsessed with the next one, preparing for it, wanting it to be the best event I could have.  Like the director of the play in the Big Book.  I might hate what I was doing, but because it was all for the Big Event, I tolerated it.  Then came the Big Event, and if it failed to be big enough, or great enough, I would be left angry and blaming everyone and everything - including myself - and resolve that the next event would be better, that I'd fix all the problems.  Like John Belushi says after they escape Bob's Country Bunker with their skins.... "The next gig will be great.  HUGE."

In high school as a musician I loved the concerts and performances.  I loved being on stage, even just as a section player - a cog in a wheel.  I've always been an attention seeker and being in a band is a great way to get it.  But I really hated rehearsing... playing the same few bars over and over and over until I got it... or until the drummer got it (it's his fault we're stuck on this part, I hope he doesn't screw it up in the concert!). 

Or did I hate it?

When I look back at high school, I remember the concerts - but those were few and far between.  The rehearsals were daily, or weekly depending on whether it was a "real" class or extracurricular.  I really had a good time rehearsing, listing to a tune start out as we hacked through it, cursing the composer... then getting it, watching it come to life, and finally developing into a finished product we could perform.  I really loved it - I just didn't realize I was loving it while I was doing it! 

Do you have fond memories of things you did as a kid - or as an adult - that seemed tedious for you at the time, you couldn't wait for them to be over?  Grandma's church... no air conditioning, old ladies waving paper fans, listening to the preacher go on and on and on while life outside passed us by.  Yet, if you told me I could go back there this coming Sunday and sit there with grandma and grandpa and smell the coffee and sweat in the heat, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  Same for that big old auditorium at the high school, playing that tune ONE more time before we go home.  I was there, I did it - but I had my brain outside the door wishing I was somewhere else.  I missed the moment.  Not completely, or I wouldn't have the memories.  But when I look back on all those moments of agitation, wishing it would end, I want to tell my young self, enjoy it, love it, remember it - you're in the process!

I know I'm into a groove, and I'm happy in my process when something comes along to disturb it, and I feel out of sorts.  Or at least until I realize that whatever is happening is also part of the process.  I actually enjoy doing household chores now, because - hard to explain - it makes me feel like I'm doing something productive for myself, I'm sweeping my own side of the street so to speak.

I've been reading a lot of books lately on the early years of the American space program.  Books by astronauts, administators, flight controllers, and journalists who covered it.  The first moon landing was a big event - 90 minutes walking around preceeded by a decade of preparation and tedious labor by thousands of people whose names were never in the headlines, so two guys could walk on the moon.  I've read the story of some of those other people.  Their days were consumed with checklists, writing reports, running calculations again and again and again only to have the target moved and they'd start all over.  Simulation after simulation.  And all of the other space flights that preceded the moon landing, each one of them with its own checklists and preparations and simulations.  When they started out they had to make a checklist of what checklists to make!

Why did these people do this?  Very smart, very disciplined, dedicated people who probably could have made a lot more money in private industry.  Not for fame and glory, because very few got that... hey, most people know the name of the first man on the moon, and most probably know the second.  Anybody know the names of the other *ten* guys who walked on the moon?  Anyway, I've read their books and their stories, and I know why.  They loved it - they loved the process.  Sure, they were after the goal - the "event" - but if they hadn't loved the process the goal would never have been reached.

I wish I had a handy formula for loving the process.  I see so many people who hate what they do every day, how trapped they feel - that they can't change it because they have to work for a living, or they're stuck in their family situation, etc.  But it's not about changing your situation, it's about changing yourself.  I know this in my heart, and I'd love to practice it every moment of every day, but frequently I find myself - at work, or wherever - wishing I was someplace else doing something else.  I have to remind myself I'm missing out on now, that there's life and love and purpose... right now.

Barisax