Over the years I've seen several people go through an accident, injury or surgery while sober, only to become addicted to pain pills in the process which led to a relapse on alcohol. So here I am getting older, generally in good health except for being diabetic, and I get hit with back to back things that cause pain.
Back last summer, I woke up one morning with a rather accute backache that wouldn't go away or shift no matter what position I twisted into. Turns out I had a kidney stone... my first. Guess there's a first time for everything. The doctor wrote me a prescription for Vicodin, but I never filled it. The pain was manageable with ibuprofin, and after a couple days it mostly went away. But the stone itself didn't, I ended up having the sound-wave smashing done on it some weeks later, which involved general anesthesia.
So I took the Vicodin for 2 days althought the main pain was burning urination. It didn't do any good for it, and it made me feel wobbly, so I quit taking it and then found out that it doesn't do much for burning urine anyway... LOL. I had virtually no pain in the kidney, just the potholes left from the "reaming out".
Well the months tick on by, everything is fine... then one morning in January I wake up with a very familiar pain. I'm thinking nah, not another kidney stone. But it was around the front. I pretty much knew it was my gallbladder. Spent the day in the emergency room getting some very good care and rather potent IV drip. Sent home with an Rx for Percocet. Two days on that and eating crackers and gatorade, and the pain went away and I went back to work. About 5 weeks later, I had the gallbladder removed - laproscopic surgery. As efficient as this surgery is, it required a much stronger general anesthesia than the kidney stone procedure.
Got sent home again with Percocets - still had some left from the emergency room trip a month before. Well, I never have had this kind of surgery before. I was home the same day, wearing an ice pack and taking Percocets as directed for about 4 days. 5th day, I stayed home but stopped taking the Percs. 6th day I went back to work.... owch, big mistake. I wasn't so much in horrible pain but I felt like crap across the board. I didn't realize how much the general anesthesia whacks your system. I took the Percocets at bedtime for the next few days, working from home, and the following Monday went back to work.
What happened by this time is that I started to *like* the damn percocets... LOL. They didn't make me queasy like the Vicodin, and I did a little googling and they are about 2x the power for the same dosage. I wasn't on big ones, and I took them at the 4 hour interval only a few days, after that just a few evenings. But I did miss them when I stopped.
Let me tell ya, the next couple of weeks I just kept thinking about the little bastards. I did have some pain off and on - you can't get your guts carved without there being some lingering effects even if you have "recovered". I was back at work but still on a "no heavy lifting" restriction for a full month. At the end of that month, I flushed the remaining Percocets figuring if I hadn't used them in 3 weeks, I couldn't justify keeping them around. Not like I'm gonna have another gallbladder attack - the offending organ is now ashes in a medical waste disposal unit someplace.
I sure as hell felt better after I dumped them - as well as realizing that it really did take me a full month to recover from the surgery, in spite of doing almost every normal thing for 3 weeks. Definitely a relief not to have those little buggers whispering to me from the kitchen cupboard. Of course I'm sharing all of this with my home group, both leading up to the surger and afterward. I found a lot of us aging folks have been through the drill... take as directed... but the directions don't say what to do if you start to like 'em.... LOL.
So I survived the surgery, recovered, and didn't get addicted to the damn pills. But I sure did begin to like the little bastards. Pretty scary. I hope it's a long long time before I get cut on or have need for anything stronger than ibuprofin. But if I do find myself in that situation again, at least I have some prior experience. And I know the thing to do is tell on myself and share my concerns. Narcotics were never my thing, and my sum total experience with them is what I've just told... but just because I never shot heroin doesn't mean I'm not an alcoholic with a tendency to become addicted to anything I like the effects of.
A drug is a drug, in my opinion, no matter what form it takes. There are prescribed medicines, which should be taken "as prescribed" and there are illicit drugs that do "as much harm" as does alcohol. I should never confuse the two, and should not abuse either/or. If I do...then I need a recovery platform -like AA or NA.
There are too many active drug addicts and alcoholics in this world and a few of those reside in recovery programs. Many addicts self medicate by drinking and some alcoholics do so by taking drugs. Some of us -in AA- take medicine "as prescribed" and don't abuse that privilege. Others do...including some from my home group. I will continue to pray for their conversion and for anyone who's still in the throes of either disease.
Been there, done that Bari, pain pills in sobriety, you done good, scary though huh?
I loved perco's, dans, cets, all of them, and so when injured in sobriety, that's my cue to stop taking them, is when I start enjoying them, thats when the medicinal value of them begins waning
I talked with other people a lot, and was honest, that's how I got through it as well
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
LinBaba wrote:I loved perco's, dans, cets, all of them, and so when injured in sobriety, that's my cue to stop taking them, is when I start enjoying them, thats when the medicinal value of them begins waning
I did take pain pills one other time, I forgot to mention. I had my wisdom teeth taken out when I was young, and still drinking - they gave me Percodan and I washed them down with Jim Beam. I don't remember much about the effects of the pills because I was too drunk to notice. I don't remember how many I got, or if I used them all or what. Back in those days, they probably gave me 60 of them with 3 refills... LOL. But I know I didn't take them very long. IIRC I had the surgery on a Tuesday and went back to work on Thursday looking like I had been at a Fight Club gathering the night before.
One of the things that shocked me about my Rx for the Percocet (generic) was how cheap it was. These things have long been generic and there's competition from multiple brands. I don't think my insurance even kicked in because the total was below the co-pay. I can sure see why these things are so lucrative for street dealers, when they can get them for 10-20 cents apiece and sell them on the street for 5 or 10 bucks a hit.
I know you're not supposed to flush them anymore, but it seemed like the most decisive way to get rid of them, knowwhutimean?
Barisax
-- Edited by barisax on Tuesday 5th of April 2011 11:41:16 AM
I had a similar experience with Valium. I had never one time in my life taken them, but I knew they could be addictive from the sharing of other members. I got back pain and unbeknowns to me was about to learn why we should have a doctor who is aware of our entire situation. I heard him say quite innocently like they do " Now I'm going to prescribe you ((((((VALIUM)))))) for the muscle spasms and to get the back to release from the acute tightness and shock it's in now" . As soon as he said ,that I heard AA'ers in my head saying VALIUM IS NOT GOOD JAMIE.............................REPEAT ..........NOT GOOD. But what I said to myself was " But it's been prescribed by the doctor I " HAVE" to take them blah blah blah.
I took one on the correct dose. But I hadn't drank or had a drug in three years and I couldn't get over how sensitive my system was. I got a buzz off that one Valium like a mild drunk, and thats where the trouble started. The next day for some mad reason I told myself I needed to take the bottle to work. After work I remember sitting in my car thinking about the way it made me feel the day before and the next thing I know I had a crunching sensation like a mouthful of M & M's happening ( valium m&m's) . So........................I nearly crashed my car on the way home and when I got home my wife told me off like a little boy and wanted to know " What the F*** have you been doing ". The valiums went down the sink. I decided that the pain was better in most cases than the cure . And I finally told my Doctor I was an alcoholic, which I had felt too embarressed to do. So yeah. I learned , tell your doctor your an alkie lol.
I forgot about valium. About 33 years ago, I was on my first real job and working out of town, living out of a suitcase - with an expense account. It was rather high stress as I was a rookie at my job and had a great deal of responsibility for a 20 year old. I was also in New York, which was an 18 state at the time, so I could drink anything I wanted legally. Anyway, a friend back home - the same friend who said I was too much of a drinker and needed to smoke more weed...lol - got one of those valium prescriptions that he could get a huge jar of them for just a few bucks on his health insurance plan. He gave me a bunch of them to take with me.
I don't remember how many I took for for how long, but it wasn't many and it wasn't for very long. I remember sitting there at work feeling just sort of useless and stupid, and my thought pattern was - I kid you not - I can't work taking this stuff, and if I can't work I won't be able to be a real man and drink when I want to. So I gave up valium for booze... LOL. That was usually my choice when I tried something else. Same thing happened with the evil weed. Once my pot smoking friends (and pot procuring friends) moved away or drifted away, I was perfectly happy to just drink. No need to go into bad neighborhoods to buy it, and it did what I wanted.
Other than pot, the only other substance I abused was laughing gas. That was kind of a fad in the 70s. Cream whippers and those little cartridges of N2O. A pretty expensive high that lasted only minutes and left you with a fierce headache. But by 1979, all that fell by the wayside - all I needed was beer and occasionally something stronger, and that's the way it was for the next 10 years.
Wow drugs, we all seem to have some expience in this, mine was presciption Valium, very cautious doc gave these to me after going through an ordeal to say the least of someone creeping around my house late at night, one night when I looked out my front door, the lights were to his advantage, I was looking stright into this idiots eyes......bought a gun that next week and the man at the shooting range showed me for several days how to use it......thank God I happen to meet my second husband in the following months, and I moved in with him....my sister would let me and my children come over and stay, but it was a long dark part of my life........then when i did not need the Valium anymore, I just kept refilling, got addicted, and with the thrill of "being in Love" it went well with the wine we drank everynight....and when I tried to stop, I simply could not............I continued that presciption far into the marriage and of course secretly, as addicts do. For anyone that might be addicted to this damn things, there is a book still around, called "Im Dancing as Fast as I Can"...it is about a famous woman a co achor for a National TV station, and she made the mistake, as I did, of cold turkeying off this stuff. NOT GOOD IDEA.....she was institutionalized, I was not, but should have been.
Barisax, wow what a difference in the Laproscopic removal of the Gal Bladder, I was in the ER, unable to stand up and all I kept saying was No Narcotics, they gave me Toridol, and when it was over in the Morning, I said how soon can I leave, I wanted out of there, and I had said on the papers before getting in that I was alergic to General Anestic, when I had my Mastectory and reconstrution, it took 9 hours, and they had a real hard time bringing me back, and was told after one whole day of my BP being so low, I could have died, they said, NEVER have general anesthic again.....my whole experience was so different, never felt any pain, but for about a year, every single time I ate lunch or dinner, would get sort of a too full feeling, and kept asking myself, what am I eating, heathy food, but always wanted to take a nap after eating.....then one afternoon, I started getting this really shape pain, and if I drank a 7 up, I would burp like there were no tomorrows, and it would go like that for days, then around Thanksgiving, I had on five different occasions, had some friends over for the endless amount of food I had cooked, all really rich foods, that was the icing on the cake and the end of just a sharp pain that would go away with one 7up......the pain was now going in a half circle, and when I called the ER and explained what I was expierencing, the Triage Nurse said that your Gal Bladder, get here as soon as you can, called a cab, and after that paperwork, they took me back and some really young nice doctor said, we are going to perform Emergency Surgery on you, your Gal Bladder is blocking all of your other organs, and they gave me the toradol for the pain, twilight drugs for the laproscopic surgery, and next think I recall it was 800 in the morning, and I went home that morning, never took even a Ibeprofin, never took a nap, I was just so relieved that I was on the mend....we are all so different....
On another presurgical procedure I just had, this doc said you might have a lot of pain, and just gave me an Rx for Percocet, had 1/2 tab the next morning for the pain, but the trade off was that when I walked down my hallway, it felt so weird, could not get real balanced....so no more of that C--p! I used two 200 mg. tabs of Ibeprofin that my doc gave me, she know how much my stomach cannot handle any of the stuff. Never took another one of anything.
So thats all I have got in the drug area, always really disliked Pot, and only once, did someone offer me some opium, one little hit or inhale, and have to say if that drug was available, I would have been in a lot, reaally a lot of trouble...
Anything that alters reality, don't like em, now, I like reality, well most of the time anyway..
Barisax, thanks for sharing some of your story here, it helped me to remember .... ( and I laughed at each of your posts, cuz you kept coming back with an addition of a new/different drug thruought your life, lol )
I tried to get sober in 2002, and from then till 04' I did the 30, 60, 90 day shuffle in and out of mtgs. The summer of 03' I woke up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain. I thought I was having a heart attack. Went from doctor to doctor in my home town and nobody could figure out what the heck was wrong. I cant even remember now which doc it was, but one of them prescribed Soma's and Vicadins. Nice combo eh? yeah, I got high for sure. I wasnt drinking at that time, was scarred to ... Im like you, pills were never my thing, I was a drunk and a pothead. The pain was in my neck and shoulder/arm. Turns out I had a hearniated disc in my neck and ended up having surgery/fusion in the fall of 03 after seeing an out of town doc who did an MRI and found the problem. I really, really liked those pills. However, returning from the hospital after surgery, I flushed them, cuz I knew what would happen if I kept taking them. And to be honest, I drank, BUT, the pills didnt lead me to relapse or that drunk, I led me to it. I dont believe in 'triggers'. A certain song on the radio does not make me drink. My birthday does not make me drink, nor does yours. I might use all of these as an excuse or reason to drink, but me and my will are what puts the booze in my body. Its that simple for me
I got sober ... again in 04 and I pray to God its my last drunk. I was involved in an auto accident in 09 and suffered severe whiplash which caused torn ligaments in my neck and has caused damage to the muscles in my shoulder blades. I am currently in physical therapy and have been since the accident. The pain is not nearly as bad as the slipped disc in 03, but Im very uncomfortable some days and do experience pain. I KNOW without a doubt that If I get any type of narcotic pain meds, I will abuse them. I know me. So, I take a prescription anti-infammatory, and non narcotic muscle relaxer, and I use heat and a bio gel too. Im hoping the PT helps to avoid surgery, but thats up to the Docs. I have to limit my activities and I have restrictions as far as work goes. It stinks, cuz Im so accustomed to be very active. But I pray about this and ask for Gods help to be patient and learn to adjust. I use the steps of AA and stay in touch with my sponsor.
I am willing to go to any lengths to NOT have to take pain meds. And I am so thankful that Im sober today and realize what Im capable of as well as not capable of too.
Been there, done that Bari, pain pills in sobriety, you done good, scary though huh?
I loved perco's, dans, cets, all of them, and so when injured in sobriety, that's my cue to stop taking them, is when I start enjoying them, thats when the medicinal value of them begins waning
I talked with other people a lot, and was honest, that's how I got through it as well
i abused most of those while drinkinq. I'm too scared to take them in sobriety. The only thinq stronqer than advil, that i've had, was durinq a liver biopsy. I think it was a veraset IV. I told the doctors not to qive me any narcotics but they lauqhed and said I'd jump off of the table, when they stuck with with this 6" needle to extract a piece of my liver, if they didn't put me under. I was whacked out for a couple days after the preceedure. Memory was toast, and I had to take a couple days off from work so that I could remember customers names and such.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 7th of April 2011 08:02:58 PM
spent 5+ years addicted to pain pills. Bought them on the street. Definitely stay away from them. They are too dangerous for an addict/alcoholic to mess with.
