So - renewed the passport this morning, went to Mum's and took her for lunch straight from the hairdressers. Limped aong cus I've wrenched my knee, got a frozen shoulder and a wry neck. If I were a horse, they'd shoot me.
Had half an hour kip on her spare bed then weeded the side garden finally got to a meeting in North Yorkshire. Got home at 1030 tonight then spent an hour on the fone with Eileen, trying to keep my patience, trying not to react, trying not to bellow down the fone, that is none of your f***ing business,,,,,,,Succesfully.
Apparantly (I allus spell that wrong) my kids are furious wi me............because I've hurt their Mum...........just means that they care about her that's all.
Anyway, funeral tomorrow, house to clean, shopping to do, Intergroup minutes to type, meeting to go to.
Saturday, Northern National Convention in Blackpool.
Sunday back to Mum's and then on to same meeting for cake etc.
Work Monday. I sometimes wonder how the hell I found time to drink.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Your kids had attitude problems before if I recall. So essentially now nothing has changed there at least. Of course it's just as irrational cuz they could be upset with her because she hurt you. She is the one that lived in the family home all this time right? I suppose Eileen felt the need to tell you how furious this kids were for some good reason? To make you feel good right? Oh well....glad you got positive plans regardless of that quagmire.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Mark. Never thought of that. Eileen still seems to think that I need to know every last thought im her head and every nuance of the family life that i don't have. In a funny way I was pleased that they had some reaction and pleased that there was some measure of supportiveness from them to Eileen. During the course of the conversation I learned to not answer some stuff not accede to some requests not react but respond. Like you won't let another woman ride with you. you won't take another woman to our special places. The worst bit was the 'you've had 2 years to prepare for this I've had 10 days since black Monday slow down!' then the tears and sobs. Then the chunter about how hard it is to keep working. Then the mutter about money.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I think it's good that you can listen to a degree but let it wash over you. Not much she says is going to be based on logic and she has her own sickness. She has had years and years she could have built up an alanon program, but she chose not to. So...she has no skills for detachment. She made the kids her only support network and now it sounds like she is so enmeshed with them that they are all like one single entity in her mind.
You still have a lot to work through here. I would be reading acceptance is the answer like 500 times a day lol.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
