Over on the CODA Board we are starting a Book study and a step study, it's based on Melody Beatty Books, but truthfully the step study will be using (and I quote) "I am going to be using "The Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps" as my core resource in starting the step threads for this step study.  I will also be referencing many of the other books I have on the steps including the AA Big Book, the 12x12, Paths to Recovery from Al-Anon and more"

Melody Beatty was a sober alcoholic/addict that was a counselor at a rehab, being the lowest member on the totem pole, she was assigned to work with the families of the addicts and alcoholics, she found them "hostile, controlling, manipulative, indirect, guilt producing, difficult to communicate with, and more."

When she was drinking and using she didn't what they were but she knew -who- they were, the people who whinged at her constantly, who asked why she couldn't get it together, they didn't understand her, and she didn't understand them.

She wrote, ""Most codependents were obsessed with other people. With great precision and detail, they could recite long lists of the addict's deeds and misdeeds: what he or she thought, felt, did, and said; and what he or she didn't think, feel, do, and say.... Yet these codependents who had such great insight into others couldn't see themselves. They didn't know what they were feeling. They weren't sure what they thought. And they didn't know what, if anything, they could do to solve their problems"

Many years later, she after a series of unhealthy relationships in sobriety, she found herself sicker then ever, she writes:

"That's why I wrote this book. It grew out of my research, my personal and professional experiences, and my passion for the subject. It is a personal and, in some places, prejudiced opinion.

I'm not an expert, and this isn't a technical book for experts. Whether the person you've let yourself be affected by is an alcoholic, gambler, foodaholic, workaholic, sexaholic, criminal, rebellious teenager, neurotic parent, another codependent, or any combination of the above, this book is for you, the codependent."

It appears most of us there are from here, a few other places, and it appears just about all of us are sober, but we all have one thing in common, we want solution.

We talk about ourselves there, we don't give advice, nor get it, this is a journey we are taking together, side by side, it's only just begun and it's already going VERY well, AND since most of us are already -sober- alcoholics, we have a few things in common, we have worked the steps, we want solution, we want to -get better- to improve our -own- lives there, and frankly most of us have a history of being affected by codies ourselves, which I am finding particulaly helpful, I always wanted a program to get help from the harm both codependents AND codepency have caused in my life

I hope to see a few more of you there, this is the real deal, this is true "inner work", this is good stuff, and there are a few of you here I think that are just getting to that place in your sobriety where this stuff will be incredibly helpful, so if you have a codie in your life, feel like a codie, have alcoholism or codie in your family of origin, or just are tired of dysfunction in your lives and relationships and feel like doing something about it by changing YOURSELF, come give us a visit

Book Study