After five years of being a sober alcoholic in an industry with so many active alcoholics ( painting and decorating ) it's not even funny, I was spell bound yesterday when an ex workmate of mine called me out of the blue 5 years after working with him I might add and said, " I'm in real trouble man, I did some diabolical sh** last night and I need Help, and I remember you telling me about what you went through".
Without thinking really , I said to him ok I'll tell you what this society I'm a member of is all about, when someone reaches out for help we bend over backwards and go to any lengths to help, so you've done the right thing calling. This guy then said to me , well I'm down on my knees and I'm asking.
For years when I have been queried on why I don't drink by my workmates, I've shared openly with them about what it was like what happened and what it's like now. I must have spoken (just in my job) to maybe 100 active alkies at a guess in five years and I can't tell you how frustrating it's been knowing how good life can be if your sober to watch these men tune me out and carry on to the gates of insanity and death . It felt good, really really good to just have one person ring and say man, I remembered you telling me about what you went through and you were the only person I could think of to ring, I'm desperate and I don't know where else to turn.
I can't believe that five years down the track this man still remebered me telling him my story. I suppose sometimes even if you think your not reaching anyone. You are, but it's nice to know. Once atleast. The power of just being sober is something I know now I have gravely underestimated. God bless the program.
Jamie
-- Edited by Jamie D on Saturday 12th of March 2011 05:24:57 PM
I was "blessed" enough so my "fall from grace" was an extremely public affair, I was living in a small town and was a Fireman/Paramedic that specialized in helicopter cliff rescues that bartended for the Fire Chief at night, and my Girlfriend had just moved to town a few years before and the entire town fell in love with her, we would go to the Symphony and tennis matches and musicals with all the "hoity toity" society types (just a few years before I looked like Spiggoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) so when she threw me out and I lost my job (as a result of accidently waking up in Florida one morning as Hurricane Andrew was slamming into the coast), and I went through my "bottom" everyone saw, but what else everyone saw was me get sober, get my girl back, get my job back, start sculpting, and go back to bartending for the Chief, and my life got better then it had ever been...so people starting bringing me their children, husbands, wives, coming to me themselves, I never said a word, everyone just knew "Andrew quit drinking and is in AA"
Over the years it maybe stuck with...I don't know...5? people, but they each brought 5 people in, who each brought 5 people in, so now I have been called "The Pied Piper of AA" for the tiny little beach community where I used to live...and truthfully?
It wasn't ever me, not anything I said anyway, just the fact I was sober and smiled a lot, and I used to be drunk all the time
and I got a haircut
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
When I finally was ready to ask for help, I called a friend of mine I haven't seen in three years, crying. "I need help" I told her. She has been in recovery for 2 1/2 yrs, and was right on it. She found me phone numbers, a treatment center, and advised me to do 90 in 90. That's insane I thought, but I didn't tell her that. Funny thing about that, by the time my 90 days rolls around, I'll have more. She is out of the country right now, but we keep in touch by email. She is always so happy to hear of my success and a couple of times said my emails made her cry, she was so happy for me. I couldn't really understand why my recovery meant so much to her, at the last when we saw each other, I was pretty indifferent to her. And I did not play any part in her recovery. Now I understand and I can't wait till she gets home so I can see her and give her a hug!!! Thank you for opening my eyes. Peace
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
It was through you that I learned about overeaters anonymous while we belonged to another site. I thank you very much for that as I am going on 36 days of abstitence now. I never knew about it before you mentioned it.
I was happy to hear your going well. Now if I could only adhere to my own advice. I find it ironic that I never struggled to get sober but when it has come to getting abstinent I have in the past been such an unbelieveably chronic relapser it's not even funny. One day at a time, faith , hope and the program. What else is there ?
I am soo smiling, your post makes it so obvious this is what it's all about... turning Self out, and becoming a channel for Higher power.
Reminds me, a few years ago, my Indian guru explained to us in his broken English, that we become an instrument for something greater than ourselves.... if the instrument is clear of Self, he said.... our lives become such beautiful music (his face just lit up as he spoke, I'll never forget it)
Anyway...
You are obviously a bright light Jamie.... a beautiful instrument! Praise to your HP for what is accomplished through YOU ((hugs))
