I have read back on old posts and have seen that this has come up before where people chair without having six months sober. I have mixed feelings about it. I was at a meeting where someone had a long time but has been relapsing for a long time now. I think it did share the problem and it kind of filled me with a feeling of hopelessness as it was all so negative. Maybe I'm just trying to stuff my head in the sand. I would welcome your thoughts.
Though it is undeniably uplifting to hear positive shares and solutions from people, I also appreciate hearing HONESTY from all people who share, whether things are going rosy or not. I like to hear where someone is at in their recovery exactly, no matter how gray it is. I think those still struggling and reaching out deserve an opportunity to lead, from their perspective, too. It helps them to step out of their comfort zones and reach toward new goals. It helps me stay sober to remember what it was like at all stages of beginning sobriety, to reflect upon my own personal growth in this journey. I guess what I'm trying to say, is I think it is helpful to hear people's experiences from all spectrums. I find the meetings in which everyone is happy and perfect to seem a little forced...a little too "Leave it to Beaver" for me. I like to hear the real deal. It is not the chairperson's job to be the AA cheerleader...yet I think it is not appropriate to turn chairing into a woe is me drunk-a-logue either.
Here's another thought. Just because the chairperson hasn't found the solution yet, doesn't mean that someone else in the group can't change the negative direction of a meeting by sharing in a heart-felt way about his or her experiences with the solution. I have found often that meetings change direction based on what is discussed by the group. So, if the tone is feeling too negative, why not speak up and lead by example? Honor the pain tha the person is experiencing, but then share from your perspective how things get better. This inspires hope for the struggling alcoholic, which is one of the most important components of AA meetings, is it not?
This is an interesting topic, thank you! I'm looking forward to hearing what others think. Heather
I have been at mtgs where the chair person was a week sober, drunk, high, babbling, and not a clue as to what was going on, and didnt really care to know either.
Ive been at mtgs where the chair person was 30yrs sober, 3 days sober, good sobriety, emotionally stable, and did have a clue as to how to chair a mtg. as a result of good sponsorship.
It takes all kinds of ppl to make this wonderful world go around and around. I keep goin back cuz' I learn something every time .. IF I have my eyes, ears and heart open
If it has the potential to make a person drink, I would rather them share it and I will gladly listen. I sometimes catch myself rolling my eyes at certain people sharing, but then I remember I used to cry about everything my first 6 months sober and I still am annoying to many people now I'm sure :) lol.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
In some cases it depends on where the meeting is held at;
If it is held at a Treatment Center then of course you are going to find people that have only a few hours and this is their first real meeting
Same thing goes for some churchs and walk-in centers.
Usually in that case the person with the sober time and knowledge of how a meeting works will be the chair.
Early on I had been to a number of meetings where I had the most sober time but had been to a number of meetings and I was only about 1 Week old at the time.
So ask the question-- Who here has the most sober time or Who knows something about running/handling a meeting.
Another time I was at a church (no real chairperson came at the appointed hour) and no one really wanted to speak up--but I said then lets just talk about how we feel about our past drinking habits and see if we can help oneanother. We ended up being there for 2 hours-- Just 5 of us.
It says in the BB and in some of the other AA Lit, all it takes to have a meeting is 2 People even if it is just the God or Higher Power of Your Choose.
When meetings discussions start to dwell in the problem (for wahtever reason), what is the solution? To join in the problem become upset and irritated, get a resentment and leave is silly.
I usually try to make a positive solution oriented comment that can hopefully spin the topic is a positive direction, hopefully some others will join it.
Sometimes hijacking the topic works, it's always worth a try.
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Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
I'm happy to listen to anyone share something that will help them stay sober that day, but I do notice that some people tend to need to "vent" in groups because they're not getting appropriate treatment/support outside of AA.
In an AA meeting, I try to share my experience if I think it would be helpful to others. If I just need to "get something off my chest," I save that for my individual therapist, a group therapy session, or in a one-on-one conversation with one of my sober friends. I think if people lack these outlets, they are more inclined to use an AA meeting as such.
