It says in our authoritive text for living, that alcoholism is a mental obsession coupled with a physical compulsion. Accepted fact.
What it doesn't say, that I have found to be absolutely true , is that I am living in an alcohol OBSESSED society, no wonder it's so easy to stay out there drinking and hurting the people I love , long,...........looooong past the used by date for my drinking, for crying out loud I was obsessed in an obsessed society, how are you supposed to feel the odd one out ??? Or want to be , more to the point. Which is why I feel so many people struggle to come to terms with their alcoholism, drinking is such an ingrained part of our society, you feel like , not doing it when you first get sober is volunteering yourself for a life of solitude. Again for me, this is why the fellowship of AA is so vitally important.
When I watch television I see advert's and programs that portray the idea that if your a "real man" drinking is just what you do, it's not even up for debate , it just ..is , and even unhealthy attitudes to alcohol are slipped under the radar as "normal". This is all stuff that I was blind to whilst I was still drinking . I suppose it's a case of , it's okay while it's okay.
I have experienced people nearly fall off their feet with shock when I say I don't drink. They drink ALOT here in Australia it's like number 2 in the world per capita for consumption of alcohol. One guy who offered me a beer after a long and really hot humid days work, here in Brisbane remarked when I said , no thanks I don't drink " What .............you don't drink???? ...........at all ?????........................what the hell kinda guy are you"???? It was like I had just told him I could shoot fireballs out of my A**, or like I was some kind of alien from a weird far off planet and I had been left behind here on earth, it was a bizarre and eye opening experience.
Long story short these are the sorts of experiences that have lead me to realise why the fellowship of AA and the comraderie of it all are so important to me as a sober alkie living in the modern world. In an alcohol obsessed society, where not drinking is definitely not the "norm" being an active member of a society that doesn't drink, when your an alcoholic , is probably a really good idea. I see now why so many people that drift away from AA drink. I don't think they all go mad that's just party line propaganda, I feel that most just want to feel apart of again. Exactly what the fellowship offers me. Feeling apart of.
And don't get me wrong , they don't all drink, some are out there sober and happy , or sober and mad I've met them too, I see them occasionally down at the local shops , but for someone who doesn't want that life back. I'll take the kinship in this thing of ours anyday.
The love and support and friendship of the fellow members of this wondrous society of ours is the best thing I ever found in my friggin life. Hell yes . Amen
Can't argue with any of that. The one thing that really struck me after I got sober was just how many alcohol ads there are in the average newspaper. That and the crap quality of journalism means I don't bother reading them anymore.
Same. One of the things this program of recovery taught me is that I am powerless over others' consumption of alcohol. I can't have one drink, ever, and I also can't stop other people from drinking or selling booze.
What I also know is that if I thoroughly follow this program, then I'm safe from the booze everywhere else. If I work it, I can have that neutrality with respect to booze that the Big Book talks about.
Jeez - not just in Blighty too then. It's such a relief to have the obsession removed and for it to stay removed, so long as I take my medicine- meetings sponsor steps service.
I've been enroled on an Inspirational Leadership Programme - oh boy the potential for fun...... but yep, the question was asked, what'll you have, my answer? a jug of tap water with ice, lemon and lime please........the next question, why? answer, 'cos I'm thirsty, finally, why not a Cobra?......cos I don't drink alcohol. accepted at the time but raised the next day, when the rest of the team were detailing their personal development plan and career aspirations.
Well I stated my PDP was to stay sober one day at a time and my career aspirations was to work at this company for as long as I chose and to die sober..............it just came out like that............verbal firestorm followed from a couple of guys..........what???? this is why you don't drink???what's wrong with you??????? So they got a few minutes explanation. 8 very thoughtful faces looking back at me, then one guy said, how can you be so open and honest about this? because, I said, this is a safe environment, I can be totally honest with you guys becasue there is no reason to suspect you'll try to use this against me, because we're not in competition and because I'm not afraid to be me.
The whole review meeting turned a corner, people falling over themselves to display their vulnerability, talking about their hopes and fears, seeking help from each other, man it brought a lump to my throat and yes, several minutes were spent on the pressure to drink.........why people unwind with a bottle of wine, how it's so expected that all social occasions revolve around the drink, one guy actually said he could hardly wait for evening to get his fix of scotch........
and it made my presentation on time management and work life balance - Billy Style - go so much better. (10 minute presentation slot, 9m48s presentation with music clips, 12 seconds for questions - there were none.)
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I used to live in an alcohol obsessed society but I don't any more, hard to explain but it has to do with a gradual perception and lifestyle change
I was talking to a court ordered alcohol counselor once many years ago, and after my intake and a few interviews (I showed up drunk the first day at 9AM) he looked at me and said "Your life revolves around alcohol, in 25 years of doing this I have never met anyone who's entire life revolves around alcohol like yours does, you bartend for a living (and drink on the job) and all your leisure activities are alcohol based"
The first few years of my sobriety it was exactly as you described, the shocked faces when I told people I don't drink but over the years I changed, who I had in my life changed, where I went and who I went with changed, and if anything it feels like I live in a sobriety obsessed society, it seems the majority of the people I meet don't drink, and if they do it's removed from me, no one seems surprised at the fact I don't drink, occasionally the topic of drink, drank, drunk will come up for some reason and I can have people ROFLing in the aisles with stories of drinking escapades, so no one thinks I am a prude and the fact I am sober doesn't even get a double take, the fact I am so comfortable with it brings questions actually, especially since they see I am not intolerant of drinking as an institution
So maybe I do live in an alcohol obsessed society, the truth is I just don't notice, it's off my radar, things like ads and beer commercials just exist in the background, I think it's an example of "whatever I resist, persists" and the fact my mind magnifies anything it focuses on, and it no longer focuses on alcohol, if someone has a beer or glass of wine I don't even notice, and if they get drunk and I am there I leave, but one thing I HAVE noticed is there is a lot less "alcohol based lifestyle" then I thought there was when my life revolved around alcohol, then it's all I saw, now I don't see it at all
Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars... and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. Everything is simply happy. Trees are happy for no reason; they are not going to become prime ministers or presidents and they are not going to become rich and they will never have any bank balance. Look at the flowers - for no reason. It is simply unbelievable how happy flowers are. ~Osho
I guess we percieve that which we are looking for, and we magnify that which we are obsessed with
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Nice post Jamie, thanks for sharing. I agree with much of what you shared.
Im a firm believer that booze and drugs are a very huge part of many problems our 'worlds' face today.
Ya know ... the tough guys are still sittin at the bar boozin it up. Me- I was weak and needed help. I found it in the rooms and program of Alcoholics Anonymous and I pray I never, ever forget that.
i will relate to the weird look on peoples faces being of italian descent were wine is a tradition that is past on and you sit at a table enjoying the company and the food and you say no to a glass of wine well,,,,,picture a movie and a scene going slow motion and its like everybody stops eating .Yes i am exagerating it a wee bit but the matter of this is my decision to come clean stay sober share go to meetings stay in touch with you guys and gals call the ol sponsor and work the program makes that scene and many others just something to share AA is a way of life and i feel grateful for it .peace
I had to go to a postal store to fax something today and on the counter was a rack of those cheap plastic keychains with "clever" sayings on them -- almost every single one of them was related to drinking in a problematic way. I read them while I was waiting: "Keep drinking, I get cuter," "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -- coincidence? I think not," and "To you it's a six-pack, to me it's a support group" were just a few of the choices available. It says a lot about how American society views drinking that this is considered "funny."
"Keep drinking, I get cuter," "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -- coincidence? I think not," and "To you it's a six-pack, to me it's a support group"
