Self-pity is often rooted in the strong feeling that we have been victimized by people or conditions. "I never had a chance" and "You deceived me!" are common complaints that reveal self-pity.
It is astonishing and humbling to learn that we always have choices, even when other people or bad conditions are grinding us down. One of the great discoveries of the Twelve Step movement is that alcoholics could begin to recover no matter how helpless they had become, no matter how far they had slid into defeat and despair. Once a decision was made to seek sobriety as a primary goal other choices and decisions became possible.
We choose our attitudes and responses. We have neither the power nor the right to control others, but we can choose to soften our attitudes toward them, and we can forgive and release people we don't like.
We can always choose how we want to think and feel. It may take effort to break the habit of feeling victimized and sorry for ourselves, but our Higher Power will show us the way if we decide that is what we really want.
Nobody can ruffle my feathers today or make me feel oppressed and victimized. I can always make choices that will enhance my sobriety and place me on a better footing for the days ahead.
