I sometimes feel within the privacy of my own mind, that to call this thing we have "addiction" rather than alcoholism seems more accurate to my experience strength and hope ,and all emcompassing. I have been to alot of AA meetings over the years and I notice that alot of members in the rooms haven't just struggled with alcohol. I myself have had to battle addictions with drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, sex, behaviours, and food ahhhhhh yes food. The reason I say that I like the term "addiction" is that I have found most of the people out there with the disease focus so hard on the alcohol and miss the areas of life where the disease is tearing them apart.
Myself for instance got sober really easily. Didn't even feel like it pushed me, it was just right time, right amount of pain and a burning desire to "get it". Food and behavioural addictions however have shreddded me over the years. I have seen so many members like me in AA, they get sober, then eat themselves to death literally. It seems as if the disease has actually transfered it's attention onto something else. My wife actually pointed out the other day that I eat exactly the same way I drank. I have a really good healthy week, filled with thoughts of how lifes on the improve and then when the weekend comes , it's like my mind says " Okay Jamie , it's time to destroy all the good work now" and away I go.
Today is Sunday here in Australia and by the grace of God I'll make it through this day too, abstinent from overeating. I find that the twelve steps can work for anything and this will be my first weekend of good nutrition ever. I must admit I have found the people in OA good for lerning how to structure my eating from, however I get what I need as always in AA.
What I suppose I am saying is am I alone in thinking that sometimes if not always when a person gets sober some other part of their lives bears the brunt of their mind focussing on the fact that they can't hide in booze anymore, sex lives ? Food ? Cigarettes ? Behavioural addictions ? because the other week when I identified that this is the case for me I realised that there is alot more wellness waiting inside for me when I learn not to run into ANY !!!!!! person , place or thing .
Yes there should be a "Addictions Anonymous" group. I feel the same way, if Im not drinking Im thinking about something else and its like whatever my brain gets focused on I can only concentrate and indulge in that particular thing. Strange how we work.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I try not to get too hung up on the beliefs and opinions that tend to separate out various facets of addictive disease, almost pitting one against another. Current science shows us that all of these disorders are inherently brain disorders. And many of us do often move about among a number of addictions in various degrees of severity. Different zebras, similar stripes.
You know,we used to throw people having psychotic episodes into horrible dungeons; now we use modern medicine and advances in behavioral health to assist people with schizophrenia (for example) to manage the condition and be able to live outside of institutions. I see alcoholism as not much different--nor other drug addictions, obsessive/compulsive drives to gamble, overeating (or poorly processing) fat-producing food, and so forth. All of these chronic conditions have a specific course of stages, phases, and symptoms, physical and mental destruction, and their own phases of remission and a known recurrence process. We know a lot more than we did in the 1930"s when our pioneers first identified alcoholism as a disease, and yet that body of knowledge, while extraordinarily helpful, has never even suggested that the 12 steps introduced by A.A.is not the single most effective path to sustained sobriety. No wonder there are a dozen variations of "the program" today---because it works. Simple. Not easy, but simple. Thank God these steps constitute a design for living, to be applied to any and all aspects of my life. Not only do we get to enjoy our sobriety, a respite from this terrible disease, we also get a better handle on dealing with all the other crap that gets thrown at us!!
Jamie, I think you may be a believer from some of your other posts and avatar, etc. Not to get too overly sectarian here, but sometimes, when I think my behaviour may start to get out of control, or I find myself wanting to feel different, I tell myself "Act like a Christian, not like an alcoholic".
The implication of course is that I act like a GOOD Christian rather than an actively drinking alcoholic. I'm sure we've all known recovered alcoholics who behave better than some Christians.
Anyway, framing it in that way seems to make it less intimidating for me. I don't have to behave like some kind of faultless saint, I just have to avoid behaving like an unrecovered alcoholic. Exhibit some meekness, self-restraint, try to act in a way that my wife would be proud of, etc...
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
zzworldontheweb, thanks so much for your words I found them refreshing and bold. You are right I am a believer , I was going to say that whilst the compulsion to eat has buzzed inside of me this weekend I have had to stay so close to God it's not even funny. What I have found interesting is that when something is disturbed inside of me for some reason I start searching for something external to fix. Friday afternoon when I knew that I had the first abstinent weekend waiting ahead of me from overeating, I started to obsess about how , what I really need is a new job because I can't emjoy my job anymore. This morning after realising that I was on the verge of achieving my goal of making it through the weekend, the compulsion to get a new job seemed to wane. Cunning baffling and powerful alright. It's like the master said " The kingdom of heaven is on the inside".
Thanks for the intelligently formed loving words .
Excellent thread Jamie. I suffered from most of the isms that you mentioned. To me, it was like a surgical glove blown up with air and each finger being an addiction. You put the squeeze on the four fingers and then the thumb grows to 3 times it's size. Grab the thumb and 3 other fingers and the pinky is now 3x. Dealing with drinking and drugs, once you've put them down for awhile, is relatively easy, you just don't pick them up. Food is tough because you have to eat, so it is literally one day at a time, one meal at a time. One of the things that helped me was being self employed, which gratefully, I've been able to do since I was 6 months sober. It allowed me to throw away the weekly calendar. Of course I had to keep track of appointments and jobs, which I still manage barely lol, but it took the awful emphasis off of what day of the week it was. If I needed to work saturday and sunday, I was getting paid well for it and no big deal, if I needed to take a few days off in the middle of the week (attitude adjustment, or mental health days) no big deal. So, as it is, I gratefully struggle to know what day of the week it is usually, I'm one day ahead or behind, depending about my level of serenity. I guess what I'm saying is that the days of the week lost their stigma and I hardly pay attention. People that work for me get a little miffed when I forget to bring the checkbook on Friday lol.
Our addictions all do the same thing. They mood alter by causing the brain to release chemicals like endorphins. They monkey pulls the lever and gets a treat (reward system). We are never going to change that, but we can change the behaviors to being addicted to healthy activities or ones that don't have physical consequences, such as exercise, physical sports, or playing around on the computer, or restoring cars and other hobbies. Eating is a challenge. There is a lot to it, mostly over eaters (like myself) are addicted to sugar/carbs. Knowledge is power. When I heard that ingesting sugar triggers an over eating obsession, it helped me to want to avoid sugar. Learning that I could manage my weight a lot easier if I didn't eat carbs/sugar after say 3pm helped me. Ideally I should only eat a fist sized portion of meat and the same sized portion of vegetables for dinner with no breads, starches, pasta, rice, or juices. Once I did a carb count (Atkins) on My typical spagetti dinner 12 years ago, (a plate full of spagetti, a cup full of sauce, and half a loaf of garlic bread dripping in butter) I never ate it again and rarely eat pizza, and that helped me. It's like risk management, finding the danger zones and avoiding them. I also have a weight zone that I want to stay in. It's 165-175. When I hit 180 an alarm goes off and I watch my diet more carefully. At 185 (about once a year or so), the full diet and exercise alarm goes off and I make my mind up to lose 10 or 15 lbs. I'm convinced that If I had not been doing these diets every other year, I'd have gained several pounds a year, kept them on, and weigh 200+ now. I wish that I could maintain healthy eating and exercise habits year in and out, but I'm not wired that way I guess, so I'm coping.
Thankfully sex issues waned considerably with continued sobriety. Being in a monogamous relationship (marriage) for 17 years and getting older has helped tremendously. lol
Bill recovered alcoholic, I never ate a sandwich or drank a pop have sex and emerged remorseful after a two day black out.realizing a bounced two checks. And spent all my money. I did do that when drinking alcohol. I do realize that after working some steps that I was able to stop smoking. And like my over problems. The book state that there are so many who want to stop but can not..that's me. Coming up on 20 years next month and 70 poulds later. 117 pounds when I sobered up. And I. Am approaching desperation. I will work some steps a lot of them and some stairs and my bicycle. And get my fat ass back in shape. Was out of work for 9 months do to health reasons.could not walk due to no circulation. In my legs. And getting over that. I walked 40 or so blocks.whisk is better than one block hurt like hell. But my god is in the impossable bussiness. Thank god for a 12 step program.
