Yu know guys--A week ago, I was at a dead end. That word "Hope" wasnt in the vocabulary.
I wanted to drink. I wanted to drink bad!! And there some pretty negative thoughts going through this kids mind.
The support from this board and the people on it, is something, I cannot even put into words.
I can share with you, this afternnoon--that the count is down. Im told that another chemo on Friday should do it. So its 4 more days, of riding the wild bull.
There are people on this board--and they know who they are--that brought back that hope--and they did it by holding me up, with a block and tackle--with love--through prayer, and saying "Dont give up"
Im not a religious person. But I do know there is A higher Power there. I call that HP God."As I understand Him"
Anyone here that doesnt beleive in a Higher Power, out there--I was told, a long time ago to " Fake it till you make it" I faked it for a long time. Yes-theres a God--and I dont run the show. He does.
I dont know what else to say. I am here for each and every one of you, in any way I can be. With love, and right from the heart.
And yes Tip. Its ok for a grown man to cry--Took me a long time to get humble enough to learn that one. Just pretty damned grateful right now.
Thanku. I love you all. And Im damned sure--my kids do too.
__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
We are always here for you Phil, not always logged on, but I'm sure someone is available at the end of a phone line most of the time.
Best wishes to you.
Chris.
__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
There was a fellow AA over today. I told him how my wife and a friend, with some form of energy healing and prayer healed her horse. I told him of the great faith that my wife has. Last October he broke a piece out of his hock and the surgen (yes horse hostipal surgen) said u might as well put him down. I asked her about diggin the hole when we got home.I said u know the ground is going to be frozen. She said, let me try natural healing and prayer> I agreed in ?????????? Now he is running like he was never injured.
This gets better. A friend of hers was having a lot of trouble with a draft horse, who was lame. Anyway she had a chiropractor working on his back and a vet there non stop. She came to the house crying they said to put it down. Kim asked her if she wanted her and her friend to work on it. She s agreed and said i doubt it will work i tried everything. Well long story short the horse is now pulling a wagon.
"Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly."
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 85
Does prayer work?? Have faith!!! This is real hard for me but i try harder than everand pray every day. Fake it till u make it--haven't heard that around here in a while---It's the only thing that kept me in years ago.
god bless u !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wagon
