As I have, because sometimes I cannot trust my own judgement and it knifes me in the back. Sometimes I need my sponsor to rip me a new one (as last night), sometimes I need my sponsor to be a right f*ck*n Nazi B*st*rd (as today).
I love my sponsor to bits.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
I used to have a Grandsponsor that would grab my ear and drag me out into the courtyard and sputter and hiss like a teakettle boiling over as he pointed out some of my more glaring bits of stupidity in a voice that could be heard 3 blocks away, but strangely enough, try as I might, I could never actually find a sponsor to buttchew me, the only time I ever saw my sponsor get mad was at this guy I working for (also in the program) who was running some BS, and he blew UP, "Who'd he get to co-sign HIS bullshit???"
This was like the most laid back guy I had ever seen, it was...it meant a lot to me actually, it showed he really cared on some level
So anyway, every sponsor I have ever had, when I go "tell on myself" they give me this ...like...look....and don't say anything
When I ask "Aren't you gonna yell at me?"
They always all said the same thing
You aren't done with this, when you are done you will stop doing it
Bastards all of them
kind of anti-climactic, and worse of all it set the responsibility squarely back on me, I had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
I have however noticed that every decent sponsor I have ever had ended up on my 4th step resentment list because of their stupid little "observations"
-- Edited by LinBaba on Wednesday 9th of February 2011 08:33:15 PM
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
I shared last friday that I was either going to change jobs or have to change my attitude at the job I had. My grandsponsor reminded my that I should also be on the look out regarding the chance of taking my crappy attitude into my next job. lol. Gotta love it. It was true and I didn't consider that.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
First time in 4 years that my sponsor got pissed off with me. Not the first time in 4 years that he made some strong suggestions. First time in 4 years I didn't follow his suggestions and relied on my own rationale (thinking) and it led to lots of pain for me and others. when I say he was a nazi, that's unfair, I mean he wouldn't accept anything I said or wrote at face value. The guy should be a professional root cause analyst.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
There are times Id rather go to an all night dentist than to share whats really going on in this head of mine.
But , if I expect any kind of relief Id better do what Ive been taught, and that is to share, regardless of what it is I might not want to hear.
My sponsor tellsme the truth.. no cosigning, no beatin round the bush. She is honest, and compassionate. Have I raised her feathers from time to time ? Oh yeah, and I have consequently apologized to her for that too.
I'll never forget the day I realized that I loved her in a way that I have never loved a human being. I remember the day I told her so too. She knew, and she felt the same way
Maybe instead of being a masochist he he just wants to be sober more than anything else Tipsy. Maybe this sort of thinking is why you haven't been able to get and keep a sponsor long enough to work the steps.
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Maybe instead of being a masochist he he just wants to be sober more than anything else Tipsy. Maybe this sort of thinking is why you haven't been able to get and keep a sponsor long enough to work the steps.
