I'm reminded of what my elder sponsor use to tell me about "half life" of the disease
of alcoholism.  This is the 32 year plus a bit of being alcohol free and yes sober also
and I still haven't reach the "half life".  I came into recovery free of alcohol at the
age of 37.  My life was over with the exception of any plans my HP had for me at that
time.  I didn't know HP or what HP's plans were for me and I didn't know much of
anything else except I was pretty sure I had run out of time and knew I had run out
of any real intention of staying alive much longer.   2/8/79 is about the the time I
walked out of the jungle of alcoholism in most forms.  I know it was a bit before that
and I don't really care except for today I am extreemly grateful for the day I stopped
fighting this program and everyone in it and my HP and your HP and everything else
and just sat down and whispered "uncle" for the last time.

My "half life" that period of time where my sobriety time equals my active involvement
intentional or unintentional in the disease will happen when I am 74 years of age,
which is still a few years off.  I'm not working for that day cause I'm doing this one.
Doing this one means doing what has been suggested by the Big Book thru my
sponsor and the fellowship on this journey and being grateful that it has been redun-
dant, a matter of habitual repitition and made more easy with every opportunity I get
to apply it.  I didn't surrender my chip today to receive one with another one or "I" on
it because for me, it is more meaningful and fulfilling to get it at my home group
at the Sunday meeting rather than the Saturday version.  Why? from service which
keeps me coming back I helped locate that plot of land and building and along with
a couple other guys erected that AA by the Bay meeting with all of it's spiritual
dynamics thrown in by God.  The response at the mention of "AA at the Bay is my
home group" is "Big Splash!"  we are literally 20 feet from the Pacific Ocean with all
of it's spontaneous behaviors.   I will exchange my current chip for the next one and
will continue to "Keep coming back" and to continue to do service to the district. 

I continue to learn..."Being humble is being teachable" my sponsors taught me.
"Stay green or die" is another way they put it and I make no bones about it to myself
I will never get it all and I can get taken out by this disease when I think my eyes
are widest open cause I've seen it happen to other solid members of our fellowship
even those most sought after as speakers.  Cunning, Powerful and Baffling.  "Uncle"
isn't a word I've mentioned in the past when I thought I would be beat and I've only
said it twice; once I was just trying to get a guy to relax his hold on me so that I
could try something different and take him down.  I said it and he ran away.  The
other time I said it without reservation...somewhere near the end of 78 and the
start of 79..."Uncle, I'm done." 

I lost everything and am grateful that there was nothing left to distract me from
sitting down and listening to you guys and others and keeping my mind open and
the practicing what you all were doing.  I've already felt the Yay!!  and the "Mahalo"
is soooo much better.  "Thank you all".    (((((hugs)))))