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Post Info TOPIC: ACOA Program took me Backwards not forwards.


Veteran Member

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ACOA Program took me Backwards not forwards.
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Hello all, I Just wanted to get some feedback from some of the members that have been sober a while here and see if anyone else has had any experience with ACOA . After a number of happy years full of continuing and effective sobriety that had brought me alot of peace of mind and joy, I became interested with the ACOA program at the beginning of last year. After purchasing the RED book ( the fellowship text) myself and another ladie started an ACA meeting here in Brisbane. After a number of months attending I noticed my sobriety quality started to ebb. I never felt like picking up a drink but I was unhappy, really unhappy . I actually spoke to my AA sponsor about it and he said concerning inventoring the family system and other aspects of the program, that God's not in the past he's in the present and not to get stuck living in the past. Ironically .............I got stuck in the past. Then at the end of last year I went back to New Zealand where I am from to have what was to be the best time with my family I have ever enjoyed. I came back with this over whelming sense of grtitude to AA, because I could never have enjoyed that time together with my family had it not been for AA. I now have a heart for helping like I never had before. Needless to say I haven't been back to the ACA meeting I helped start, mainly because the last meeting I went to was basically a blaming session and it hit me that I don't always know what this journey is about but I know it's not about blaming. I'm curious if other AA'ers have had similar negative experiences with ACOA. And I can appreciate that there is an ACOA section to this board, and I send love and respect to those members, but in this post I am only talking about my perception of my own experience here not facts.

God Bless

Jamie 

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Senior Member

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Hi,
At six years of continuous clean and sober time, I experienced some issues that I could not
(or would not) resolve, in the rooms of A.A. A old timer in A.A. recommended ACOA.
For me ACOA gave solutions to those issues.
I am very grateful for that.
Regards,
Wayne

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MIP Old Timer

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Jamie I am also a "double".  I entered the rooms of AA at the right time from the
rooms of Al-Anon.  I was 9 years alcohol free and the program of Al-Anon and my
sponsorship encouraged me to seek and find every available tool to gain and
maintain my serenity and sobriety.  I wasn't in Al-Anon to blame an alcoholic wife or
wives or other intimate alcoholic addicted relationships including my family of origin.
I was there for me...only me and blame and resentments and putting the responsibility
for my recovery within the means of others was taken away from me early in the
program.   I can blame if I want to alone or in a group and then what do all of the
programs say about blame and my sponsorship and my HP. 

When I start getting "rocky" and "shakey" I own what it is that is going on with me
or else attempt to use victimhood intentionally.  Yes blaming goes on in ACOA (a
former member) and in Al-Anon and in AA however I can choose and do to not
participate.  I don't like the outcome.

Glad you're back in balance.   smile

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MIP Old Timer

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Hi Jamie,
Yes I attended Acoa (now ACA) for 3 years beginning at 6 months of sobriety. I worked a program their and in Coda (and NA) for the first 3.5 years. It was a lot stuff but I needed every bit of it. As far as meetings go, meetings are NOT the program. The program is worked with a sponsor, through literature. I got a lot of extra help reading John Bradshaw books and listening to his tapes/videos, doing the mild self hypnosis and meditations. Reading the ACOA daily affirmations for a couple years, and doing the "Mirror work" incredibly effective. I still do inner child work. I understand how you feel, but would urge you to try and continue working, perhaps without that group. Imo, a lot of this work can be done on your own with some guidance or through counseling. Btw, there is an ACOA board on this site, and it's very active. http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42759

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 Gratitude = Happiness!







Senior Member

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acoa kinda creeped me out, i felt it was the blind leading the blind. For me, proffessional therapy worked best for issues pertaining to my family "stuff"

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