I called a lady on x-mas day to find a meeting and had not called her since she gave me her number, she responded and was thrilled for me to come to her home group (by the way, way out of my comfort zone), but I went and the meeting was a women's meeting (I never go to those), but enjoyed it. When we left I could tell she had something on her mind and we really don't know each other well....but I asked her if she was okay. Her answer was that she was going to have her daughter for a week and did not know what to say or do in that time frame, obviously due to past experience. I shared my experience with her about my son and I. I told her what I did was sat him down (when I ws clear headed) and aked him to talk to me about his feeling towards me and my alcoholism, the inpact it had on hime and just whatever he needed to say to me to just say if he could and if he was ready. We talked for hrs and cried. My GOD there was so many things that I did not remember of course but for me this was helpful to him. I don't think a child (he was 13 at the time) should have to harbor those memories alone and keep them inside. We have always been close but today I have to say that I am gratful for that conversation, we are now closer than ever, talk about everything from A-Z. he comes to me for advice, when he is uncertain about an issue and my cup runneth over ever time:) I hope this helps the ones who may be suffering with this delimma. He just went with me to a meeting when I received my 3 yr medallion and that my friends is progress almost perfection in my mind. Thanks for letting me share on the board!
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Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is!
Aloha Sacrifice...Yep the wounds heal with that kind of humility; on both sides. I learned from the step work about how deeply others were hurt by my drinking and drinking actions and asking them to tell me how it was for them was important for my sobriety and their coming to a healing understanding. I am happy you brought this affirmation home. (((hugs)))
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me a great deal. I have an 18 yr. old daughter who had to live with my alcoholism for most of her life. Her father and I divorced when she was one year old and I've remained single since that time. She it's only been the two of us.
Twenty-six days ago I hit absolute rock bottom and am now in recovery. She's the one who took me to the hospital. She's the one who came to visit me on family visitation night. And she's the one who came to bring me home from the hospital. What a huge and unfair responsibility for a child.
I can already see a shift in my relationship with my daughter. She is finally spending time at home and talking to me. She's my #1 cheerleader when it comes to attending AA meetings. She's bringing her friends around to my house. It's such an awesome feeling and I wish I had gotten sober many years ago. It's obvious that she's happy and relieved that I have finally chosen to treat my alcoholism.
We haven't really spoken yet about things that happened while I was knee deep in my drinking career. I think some time will need to pass before we sit down to talk about it. I am still trying to process everything and I don't feel entirely prepared to discuss it until I can really wrap my head around it. So for now, I am enjoying my opportunity to be the mother I want to be to my daughter. And for now she's allowing it.
Fallon you are tremendously blessed! How wonderful for this to be the case when she is only 18. You both have a life ahead that will be so different. It's never too late, until it is too late. My daughter is now 36 and just beginning to really let me in, though she has forgiven me. Unfortunately, that alone does not remove all the damage done, some of which in her case is permanent. But I am so grateful for how it is now, and how it will continue to get better, I know.
