I attended my first AA meeting several years ago, because it was court ordered.  The situation which resulted in that order did not cause me to loose my job or my family. 

I did not attend meetings much past the last month that it was required of me.  I didn't feel that I could not control my drinking, because, as I said, I had a successful job, and loving family.  I had never passed out or had a blackout from drinking.  My court appointed alcohol counselor was surprised, when, after he had heard my "typical alcoholic's B...s... story", he had my wife, who he had made to wait outside the room, come in and relate her version, while I was made to stand out in the hall. We had a tough time sitting down and agreeing on what "type" of alcoholic I was, after she corroborated that she could count on less than 10 fingers, the times she had seen me staggering drunk over the past 27 years. 

Besides, I had only had a few beers while golfing before driving that afternoon, and was barely over the legal limit.  I was a victim of a bad decision and of circumstance(now, there's a typical alcoholic's b...s... story!). 

Well guess what?  I had become a professional drinker.  I seldom got raging drunk, but I never liked being totally sober.  I couldn't have a day go by without anxiously waiting for evening to come, so I could get that "buzz" going, then maintain it until I was ready to hit the sheets.  On weekends I could start "medicating" even sooner; slam a couple of highballs shortly after noon to start feeling "normal", then supplement, as needed, with beer, wine or more mixed drinks.  I was always "functional" if you could call it that, at least enough to fool my friends and aquaintences about how much I had consumed.  I had even got so good at it, that I could even hear if my speech started to slur a little, and would immediately change to non alcoholic beverages for about an hour or so, until I felt that I was starting to lose that "wrapped in cotton" feeling, and could start up again.  Problem is that I also started to build a tolerance to my drug of choice, so I could drink aheluva lot more as the years went by. 

Want to hear something that should have scared the crap out of me?  I actually used to fantasize about just being able to have a steady IV drip of alcohol that could be administered at a rate that would maintain that low level "buzz" all the time.

Turns out that part of my problem was that I was tired of having to watch out for the too many cocky, self-assured, hyprocitical, deceitful people in the world that were always too willing to get where they wanted by walking on the backs of anyone else, including me.  The majority of the rest were needy manipulators.  Funny that I couldn't see exactly where I fit in there.  Funny like when I go out to drive, that all the other people on the road are "Crazy Jerks" and I'm the only sane driver ( I'm sure it's the same for you; until, of course, I am on the road, because then you become one of them).

So anyway, I am now a partner in the same business, my 2 daughters are college graduates with happy, successful lives and families of their own.  My wife and I are communicating better now than we ever.  BTW, did I mention that my dad was an ordained minister, who left the minestry to work for many years as a social worker, and that I grew up not even knowing what booze was, until I was introduced to it by my peers at about 15 years old?

My wife calls booze "Instant A..hole in a Bottle".  She tells me that she has only seen me at the "crawlin' and bawlin" stage twice in 30 years, but I have become an expert at the "loud and obnoxious" stage. Funny thing is, when I try staying sober on my own, I am quite often a "dry drunk" which ain't a whole hell of a lot better.

I have also found that my emotional danger zones in sobriety are when I am feeling the terrible "too"s...too down, too angry, too good.  Did I just say too good?  Yep, that's when I start feeling physically and mentally so up, that "hell, a couple quick ones can only lift me even higher! What can that hurt?  Right?" 

Most of us have a friend or two we talk to when we are ticked off, feeling a little misunderstood (like, "Boy, my wife is sure P.O.'ed!"), when we are stressed, or to share our good fortune ("I birdied three holes this weekend, and on Monday, I got a promotion and a raise!")  I see in AA that, when someone is feeling low, and inclined to want a drink to "drown their sorrows", that other members, who have a first hand understanding of that drive, will throw an arm (or "virtual" arm in this site) around their shoulder, and say "lets have a cup of coffee and chat".  When someone is feeling a little too "high" emotionally, other members who know first hand how slippery and dangerous it can be up on "cloud nine", will remind them to get their feet a little closer to the ground. Hmmmmm....d'ya suppose that is why they call it a SUPPORT GROUP?

When others here share their problems with me, it reminds me that I'm not the only one on the planet with problems, and when they share their happy occasions with me, it reminds me that there is soooo much joy that can be had even (especially?) when your sober!

I'm in AA because I want to quit drinking, because it makes me much less than pleasant to the people I care about, it can lead to dangerous behavior (D.U.I.), it's costly, and it will eventually take it's toll on my health (don't wanna know what shape my liver's in). 

I crossed the threshold of AA of my own will this time, because it sure seems to work for a lot of people.  So, I will reserve judgement on it until I see what it will do for me.  And I am most definitely not qualified to judge whether or not a cure works, if I am not willing to take the prescribed dosage for the prescribed length of time.  

Here's a wish for peace and love, and prayers for all of you from an old (long winded )"Hippie",

Dan, an alcoholic