Right on. Lot harder to fall out if you're in the middle of the bed!

True dat, nothing like one alcoholic taking another alcoholic through the steps showing them "precisely how we have recovered" and having a sponsee reach "having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps" then watching a fellowship grow around us

It was only by doing a fifth step with a sponsor and then listening to sponsee do his fifth when I started feeling "a part of" not just with AA but that terrible sense of isolation finally left me

What are we likely to recieve from Step Five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling we didn't quite belong. Either we were shy and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never getting it--at least to our way of thinking. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surrmount nor understand. It was as if we were actors on a stage, suddenly realizing we did not know a single lines of our parts. That's one reason we loved alcohol too well. It did let us act extemporaneously. But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness.

When we reached A.A., and for the first time in our lives stood amoung people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was tremendously exciting. We thought the isolation problem had been solved. But we soon discovered that while we weren't alone any more in a moral sense, we still suffered the pangs of anxious apartness. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer. It was the beginning of true kinship with man and God.


It was also humbling, I learned quickly that I wasn't the water, only the hose, I was only the vehicle to convey what I had learned from others, and all I was ever doing was repeating things that had been told to me, I wasn't the elephant, I was only the guide to show how others had shown me the elephant, I also quickly learned that I wasn't much good being a "life coach" or a relationship counselor, I was simply there to take my sponsee through the steps, not give direct advice, since A) I watched much of my advice go badly and quickly learned I wasn't in fact God, a psychriatrist, a relationship specialist, a therapist, or a guru and B) in much of these areas I had also failed spectacularly, so all I could pass on was my experience, strength and hope ie; when I tried this, I got this result, but when I got this, I got this result, here is what the big book says, here is what the combined wisdom of the fellowship is, here is my experience with it, now you have the information, what you do with it is your business, since good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment, and since God always allows us to make our own mistakes, I am going to leave that bit up to God...less stress that way, and when I do that I don't wash up in Lois' Program

I also had to learn accountability and responsibility, I couldn't very well give relationship advice when my own relationships had been the cause of most of my own suffering, once again all I could do was pass on my experience, my failures became my assets, my suffering and flaws became what we shared in common, and I had to learn (the hard way) you can't give away what you don't have

Sponsorship was a lot like this for me

Be The Change You Want To See In This World Mahatma Gandhi

During 1930s, a young boy had become obsessed with eating sugar. His mother was very upset with this. But no matter how much she scolded him and tried to break his habit, he continued to satisfy his sweet tooth. Totally frustrated, she decided to take her son to see his idol Mahatma Gandhi; perhaps her son would listen to him.

She walked miles, for hours under scorching sun to finally reach Gandhis ashram. There, she shared with Gandhi her predicament. -
Bapu, my son eats too much sugar. It is not good for his health. Would you please advise him to stop eating it?

Gandhi listened to the woman carefully, thought for a while and replied,
Please come back after two weeks. I will talk to your son.

The woman looked perplexed and wondered why had he not asked the boy to stop eating sugar right away. She took the boy by the hand and went home.

Two weeks later they revisited Gandhi. Gandhi looked directly at the boy and said,
Boy, you should stop eating sugar. It is not good for your health.

The boy nodded and promised he would not continue this habit any longer. The boys mother was puzzled. She turned to Gandhi and asked,
Bapu, Why didnt you tell him that two weeks ago when I brought him here to see you?

Gandhi smiled,
Mother, two weeks ago I was eating a lot of sugar myself.

-- Edited by LinBaba on Tuesday 25th of January 2011 04:35:08 AM

Good to hear from you Rob.  I really enjoy working with others and doing service work.  It's an honor and a priviledge to give back what was so freely given to me.  When I work all three pieces of Recovery I feel like I'm in the middle of the life raft.   

The Sobriety Circle & Triangle Symbol, is the symbol used by Alcoholics Anonymous. The equilateral triangle represents the three part answer - unity, recovery and service - to a three part disease - physical, mental and spiritual, while the circle represents wholeness or oneness.