I'd like to pose a question from a person on the other side of the fence.
My husband has been attempting "recovery" for 6 months now. The relapses and binges just get worse and worse each time and I've truly given up. I really just want to be away from him forever.
When I read the stories here about your relapses--I feel such intense sympathy and hope for your continued sobriety. And yet I cannot evoke that emotion for my own husband anymore.
I think the answer to that one is easy, you don't have to LIVE WITH ALL OF US.
I hope you're going to Al Anon ? You need all the info you can get, that way you can look at it from all angles and be able to make a better, informed decision.
Don't beat yourself up for your feelings, you've EARNED them.
Your in my thoughts,
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 08:59, 2005-09-10
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Defense mechanism, maybe? Your husband's relapses are affecting you and your children personnally, and at some point your mind says "Enough! No more sympathy. I have to take care of myself."
Speaking from personal point of view, I tend to shut down and quit feeling when the crisis is in full mode. I have to, or I wouldn't be able to do what I need to do to get thru it. AA has taught me how to deal with a crisis with love and empathy, but not enable the person I'm dealing with. I can offer suggestions and solutions, but I can't make the person do them. And I can't let it affect my peace of mind. It is really an alanon principle--detaching with love--but it works for AAs also.
I think cheri and doll are right!! I only know when i drink i do things i don't want to. I guess u can only forgive so much and only love so much. I'm only on day 2 now and feel good about it.In all honesty people go on for years or till death--i don't want to be one.. Dusted off ready to hit a meeting, I know for a fact i can't do this alone. only how i feel--i need to want the program
Mom, What everyone has said is right, I think you are just detaching in the way that is best for you right now. You have to do what ever it takes to gain sanity in the midst of the chaos. Keep going to meetings and hang in there.He's a sick alcoholic doing what practicing alcoholics do.
