I just did something I have not done since doing my 4th Step. I wrote, as opposed to told, my story. I have to say, it was an amazingly freeing experience. I can't explain why. I wrote it and posted it on my blog. I have never felt the presence of God with me as I did while I typed away at the keys. I am still on cloud nine from it. Not the feeling I got when I did my 5th Step, but close.
I have been reading the posts in here, and I will have all of you in my prayers. It really keeps it green for me. It was not that long ago that I was going through those same feelings. And sometimes I still do. I wish I could offer some profound wisdom above and beyond just shooting out slogans, but I don't think I can. Just those same old phrases we hear so often. Don't drink and go to meetings. Don't quit before the miracle happens. If you bring the body, the mind will follow. Ad infinitum. For me, it was and still is, all about willingness and surrender. Surrendering my will and in doing so, becoming willing to do whatever it takes not to pick up that first drink. If those of you that are struggling can find that willingness, the compulsion to drink will be lifted. It is guaranteed.
I love it when i feel His arms and love. Seems i felt it more when i first cleaned up but that question of who left who...I'm the one who was slippin away not Him. I honestly thought i had surrendered, and i'm not just saying that.I was more willing than i've ever been. But i started hanging with an old playmate, wishing things were different, that i'm not an alkie. Well wishing don't keep me in recovery and wishing don't keep me sober. I know what you mean about writing things down. I even quit doing that for awhile now. Things i gotta get back into, quit thinking about it and just friggin do it!!
