why anonymity is so important. For those of you who were not aware, I used to go by Reffner here a few months back. The reason for my new ID is a long boring story, so I'll skip the details. I had a sponsee who I turned on to this web site (those who have been around a while may remember some of the troubles I was having with him). He was very excited, but never did join...only lurked as a guest. Well, he ended up back out there (so I fired him) and started taking my posts here, copying and pasting them to wherever, and changing them into really bad things. He would then proceed to print them out and take them to meetings...drunk...and spread around all the "bad shit" I was posting about all the people in my HG. It's not that anyone really believed him, but it really put me in a bad place for a while. I spoke with my sponsor, and his advice was to just quit posting here. I didn't think that was fair, and really value and appreciate this forum, so I made Reffner die and came back as the dude that made the earth stand still (Google Klaatu if you don't get it). He (X sponsee) was sentenced to 6 years for his 4th DUI yesterday, along with no license or insurance.
So what have I learned? I'm keeping this place to myself. I've shared it with others in my HG who I trust, but will not go out on a limb anymore and risk the good thing and great friends I have here. Also, I was getting really close to "old timer" status, and I am not an old timer. So I'll warn you all now, until I am a true old timer, I will probably start new accounts (unless Jerry or Dean can change that). Maybe it's a silly thing, but to me I feel I need to earn the status, and not just by making 1000 posts.
Brian
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Thanks for sharing this Brian. Geez, its almost hard to believe that your Xsponsee did this to you. How awful!
Anonymity is very important and unfortuneately many in the mtgs I attend dont have a clue about our traditions and how very crucial they are to AA.
For instance .. so many ppl get the 12th tradition confused with all the 'stuff' they hear in meeitngs. I so often hear ppl parroting " Its principles before personalities' when one member might disagree with another on any particular topic. Disagreement on sharing of esh really has nothing to do with tradition 12.
The way I understand it, its about humility. And trust me ... I didnt know much about humility when I came to AA. I know a guy who comes to meetings. ( I dont really like to say he's a full fledged member .. with no God, no sponsor, no steps, etc. ) And he has had several dui offenses. He did manage to put together a year of sobriety and was approached one day in the Walmart parking lot by some ppl he use to drink with and they hadnt seen him in quite some time at the bar they were all acquantances at. They asked this guy where he had been .. he pulls out a 1 yr coin showing them he is in AA. Okay , no biggy really. Its his own anonymity he is breaking. However, 2 months later he is drunk, and gets yet another dui and his name is in the local newspaper. Great. What do those old drinking friends think of AA now ? Thats what tradition 12 means to me. It means I keep my mouth shut when Im suppose to keep my mouth shut. I dont broadcast AA unless it is to help someone who wants to stop drinking. Its all about the principles of the program which some of them are ... honesty, brotherly love, humility, willingness, etc, Its not about my personality or me being sober, its about me developing genuine humility and leaving my ego behind.
Your snow shovel has been getting a workout lately.
Thanks for the reminder Dean.Keep it up and I'm gonna work it out upside your head . I've actually spent more time trapped at work up on the mountain than I have at home since Christmas. I talk to my wife and she says "it's clear and sunny here" as I stare out the window at the 16" of snow on the ground. I will say this however...there are much worse places I could be stuck. I'm actually at home now, but there's a storm heading our way so I'm sure I'll spend more time up there this weekend than I want. Ah well, I'm very grateful I have a job. My wife got laid off today after over 2 years with a contractor here in town. I guess God has better things in store for us. I can't wait to find out what they are.
Brian
P.S. The pic is of the road AFTER they cleaned it up. Bear in mind, this is a curvy road going down the side of a mountain. SCARY STUFF!
Your last post teaches me to be grateful, your picture is our roads at their very worst, I'm kind of giggling at the 'curvy road going down the side of a mountain' its a nervous insane kind of giggle though, OMG.
happycamper wrote:He did manage to put together a year of sobriety and was approached one day in the Walmart parking lot by some ppl he use to drink with and they hadnt seen him in quite some time at the bar they were all acquantances at. They asked this guy where he had been .. he pulls out a 1 yr coin showing them he is in AA. Okay , no biggy really. Its his own anonymity he is breaking.
However, 2 months later he is drunk, and gets yet another dui and his name is in the local newspaper. Great. What do those old drinking friends think of AA now ?
I disagree that telling people YOU are in AA is breaking the 12th tradition. There's no way I would have stayed sober without telling all of my friends that I was an alcoholic and had started attending AA and receiving the wonderful support they have offered. Not to mention that lying about the "secret" place I am going each night would to me be as destructive as any other secret, especially since the fellowship has assumed such importance in my life. Sneaking around and going to meetings without telling anyone, having these new friends crop up from some mysterious source, would feel the same as sneaking around to drink in secret like I used to do.
I would never break anyone else's anonymity, but I think the whole of the AA program highlights living our lives openly and honestly, and that includes our involvement in AA.
500 posts is all you need to oldtimer status. And it's not the same as being a "true" oldtimer Brian. It just means in comparison to most of the people that come around here, you do have more knowledge and experience. Most of us regulars know who the true oldtimers are. But I respect your idea.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
500 posts is all you need to oldtimer status. And it's not the same as being a "true" oldtimer Brian. It just means in comparison to most of the people that come around here, you do have more knowledge and experience. Most of us regulars know who the true oldtimers are. But I respect your idea.
Your right Mark, it is only 500 (I was thinking of a different forum I'm a member of). I know, it's just a title, but I want to feel like I deserve it before I accept it. One of my little quirks I guess.
Brian
__________________
Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Keep it up and I'm gonna work it out upside your head 
. I've actually spent more time trapped at work up on the mountain than I have at home since Christmas. I talk to my wife and she says "it's clear and sunny here" as I stare out the window at the 16" of snow on the ground. I will say this however...there are much worse places I could be stuck. I'm actually at home now, but there's a storm heading our way so I'm sure I'll spend more time up there this weekend than I want. Ah well, I'm very grateful I have a job. My wife got laid off today after over 2 years with a contractor here in town. I guess God has better things in store for us. I can't wait to find out what they are.
