Single Parents...

BeSerene · Member

Single Parents...

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

Welcome!!

And congratulation for having a sponsor and working the steps.

There is no where in the big book of alcoholics anonymous that it says you have to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.

Coloring book and crayons, or little crafty projects for your 5 yr old to do at meetings might help keep him/her amused.

Check for meetings that work around your retail-work schedule.
And there are many AA groups on the internet here that have meetings on line which are very helpful. They dont replace f2f meetings, but they will do in a pinch.

Get to the meetings that you are able to, continue to stay in close touch with your sponsor while working the steps and you will be fine!

BeSerene · Member

Thanks! That made me feel a little better. Its so hard to get to meetings sometimes!! Do you know of any good online meetings at all??

ferrisdp · Senior Member

Welcome! A woman in my aftercare group does online meetings. I'll see her on Thursday and ask her about it and post it here.

Actually, I'll send you the info in a PM.

Peace,

Patrick

-- Edited by ferrisdp on Tuesday 18th of January 2011 09:07:32 PM

BeSerene · Member

Thanks Patrick!! I appreciate it!! :)

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

Many Meetings have childcare

BeSerene · Member

I haven't found any meetings with childcare so far, but I haven't ventured too far either. I will ask around. See if anyone knows of any meetings with childcare! Thanks for the prompt feedback everyone!

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hello and welcome to the board.

Call the AA intergroup, in your area, ask them about meetings with childcare. How about a baby sitter? Paying a babysitter for an hour and a half would probably be less money than it cost you to drink every day.

I was a single parent in early sobriety. I took my son to quite a few meetings, as a 3,4,5 year old.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 18th of January 2011 11:57:16 PM

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

StPeteDean wrote:

Hello and welcome to the board.

Call the AA intergroup, in your area, ask them about meetings with childcare. How about a baby sitter? Paying a babysitter for an hour and a half would probably be less money than it cost you to drink every day.

I was a single parent in early sobriety. I took my son to quite a few meetings, as a 3,4,5 year old.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Tuesday 18th of January 2011 11:57:16 PM

Also there are many of us that don't "need" a meeting, we go to help newcomers, to be of service, I have spent many many meetings playing with children out in the courtyard so their mothers/fathers could get sober and they have been some of the most rewarding meetings I have ever been to

I remember once when I was very new, in my first few years I was cranky at a disruptive child and I told someone with more time about how maybe it wasn't appropriate to bring small children to meetings, maybe a sponsor, I don't remember, but I do remember the teethmarks his asschew left on my butt about how much more appropriate it was for that child to be at a meeting with his mother getting sober rather then abandoned at home or at a bar with mom

In my fellowship if we see a newcomer with a child and the child starts getting restless someone just hops up and whispers in the mothers ear "Do you mind if I take your kid outside and we play together?"

It's a win win, mom gets a meeting, kid has fun and makes some new friends, and whoever played with the kid has warm fuzzies for days

Do what it takes to get it done no matter what, and things will fall into place for you, I have NEVER seen that fail in AA, do your 90 in 90 and you will learn what meetings have childcare, you will meet other mothers and be able to take turns, people will offer to play with your child, and your life will get immeasurably better and your child will have a chance to grow up in a house not distorted by alcoholism, so rather then saying I can't go to 90 in 90 because I have a child, maybe say I have to go to 90 in 90 because I have a child and I don't want to ruin his life by being mommy dearest the drunk lady so your daughter doesn't grow up with low self esteem and also choose an alcoholic abusive boyfriend/husband because thats what she grew up with, thats the behavior that was modeled at home

I'd rather have my kid possibly be bored for a few months then distorted for the rest of her life, speaking as someone raised by alcoholics I mean

just an idea

-- Edited by LinBaba on Wednesday 19th of January 2011 12:38:14 AM

mental defect · Veteran Member

Hi bill recovered alcoholic. OPEN meetings period . I am I single father and even when I was married I always took my kids when I needed to. Coloring books crayons lots of that .my older kids teens ipods game boys. If you ever want to see a bunch of people become unselfish and willing to help bring your kid . If your new we old timers are alwats willing to give a hand so you can get what you need and no be worried about. If they are to loud or that stuff. Just my experience. Io have never seen anyone asked to leave because of there kids .and I been doing this for a while.so welcome . And let the us at your meetings help you.

BeSerene · Member

Thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I needed that little push to get in my head its okay to bring her with me. :) I will definitely try it again! You all brought up great points! I am glad I decided to post here! I will definitely be using the board as a back up support. What a great place so far. Im glad I stumbled upon this.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Welcome, Kelly. Keep moving your feet forward and God will deliver. Just like you stumbling upon this site. Sounds more like God working in you life. smile

BeSerene · Member

Thanks Mike B. And I am definitely starting to see and realize how the God of my understanding works and shows me things in my life :) And I just keep on keepin' on, one day at a time.

maire rua · Senior Member

Welcome, I think its great to bring the child to a meeting, much better than home alone or stuck with an active alcoholic mom.

BeSerene · Member

Thank you.

hsoj · Veteran Member

I'm not a single parent, so I've not had to take either of my kids to a meeting with me, but there are two or three people in my home group who have been doing that pretty regularly. (I can relate when you said your 5-year old is 'intense'- hahaha- both of my sons I think are that way, too, and I don't think they could be quiet for an hour in a setting like that).

I think you'll find if you start taking your child to meetings that everyone there will be happy to see both of you. So don't sweat it. smile

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