OK, my rating was levelled down. I'm OK with that because I guessed it was likely to happen. But the reasons given. God give me strength!
Apparently I'm inflexible - because I'm careful about exceeding my contracted hours.
I'm Dogmatic - because I don't back down quick enough (not playing their game)
I'm resistant to change - because I don't immediately say Yes, I want more information before making a commitment.
I'm Blunt and Direct - because that's just me. I'm a Yorkshireman!
I don't mind achieving the quality and the quantity. I don't mind these targets continually being revised upwards. I do mind being told I have to jump through the hoops exactly as the powers that be want it this week!
So who has the problem? Not me. I know that I am appropriately flexible, appropriately confident and self aware, appropriately embracing of change and probably too blunt and direct for my managers taste.
But I have a secret weapon. I can afford to retire any time now. I don't NEED the job. I do it because I WANT to. Thus as much as I am powerfless over them, then so too are they appropriately powerless over me. Or to be blunt and direct. Fukkem!
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
(((BB)))...that sounded like one of my "getting shot in the ego" events. I have always to remember my elder sponsors direction..."Don't React" cause I don't know how to do that well either. In order for me to get sober and earn my seat inside of every open and closed meeting I've ever had the privilege and gratitude to be in I had to open my self to "feedback" invited or spontaneous from the elders and then to just...consider the information and the source. Deciding what to do with it (respond) came after conference with my sponsor and HP otherwise I let others steal my soul again without the anesthesia of alcohol.
Thank you for the feedback and thank you for the employment. Wanna cup of joe? They weren't firing you; why think of firing yourself? There is power in knowing that you don't need the job and are there just to be of service to others...soooo much power.
Anyhow thanks for letting me share.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Wednesday 12th of January 2011 02:37:31 AM
hEY bILL,I just went thru that same scenario...been at my job32 years 'production manager for a facility for "people with disabilities"..Have a director that came in about 7 years ago and slowly because he came fro a similar backround as me he started micro managing,doing my job ,directing people worked for me etc I spoke with him verbally many times and it would get little better than start again.Now im 63 i thought well maybe time to bail ,go out on early Social Security etc..I have never quit anything(well with God's grace active addiction) but I was feeling useless,frustrated and angry.Bottom line after much prayer,deep look inside "me" what part was I playing ,I also refused to sign a performance eval.for 30 years it has always been stellar and then all of a sudden it was immediately improvement needed etc..Well lot of it was true,I had given up in a sense,showed tremendous apathy and was manic /depressive for awhile.I finally sat with him and flat out stated everything and we finally both agreed that the lack of coommunication,closer monitoring(we now meet once a month instead of an eval after 3 years(ridiculous)anyway everything is back to where it has been,I am being held responsible for my duties(like it should be) I am allowed to perform them) etc.bOTTOM LINE WAS We both could have saved a few years by opening up ,not be so "self centered etc..I learned a lot about myself and how I still ,after all these years get.I was talking a "good spiritual principle " game but not applying it..Your situation sounds a little different and I also didnt "need" job' but I wanted it,it is more than work ,I serve a population I am very close to and get many spiritual rewards from serving..anyway..good luck hope you get things straightened out.I was able to share with my sponsor,other people in support and most of all with my Higher Power.Can I still be a knuckhead!!! oh big yeah!! but I am able to work thru a lot more now ,day at a time,,,,,peace.
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Most performance evaluations come from a boss that gets paid to criticize and if they give a good evaluation, they get criticized for not putting areas of improvement into it. For some reason, it is now unacceptable to tell someone "Good job" and leave it at that. My evaluations always vary drastically depending on who my boss is at the time and what their particular style is. Often, evaluations have come from people that hole up in their offices, never observe me working, and don't really care about the job I do. Like you mentioned, I answer to me and my HP when I do a 10th step at night. I used to complain like a little biatch about my job and how unfair it was. In reading "To the employer," the main gist I got from it was that I owe my company my best job and they owe me a paycheck and that is all. Seriously, that is all and it really is that simple. So after months of complaining about work to my sponsor...the end result was basically save the drama for yo mama...lol. I let go and am free of myself in yet another area. (I try and grab it back and get all wound up sometimes, but then I remember there is a solution and I am acting like King Baby again).
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I learned a long time ago in this program that I cannot afford to ever "need" a job, or need to people-please by doing wrong things (fill in your own definition of "wrong"-my list is too long LOL). What I need is in the 3rd and 11th steps (and of course all the others!). One of the most toxic things for me is to get hooked into any emotional investment when I am being mistreated, or misunderstood, or not appreciated, not recognized etc. Good for you Bill--blunt and direct is honest, and we MUST be honest, mustn't we?
Sounds like a few months ago, when my new boss and I came to an agreement after a couple months that it "wasn't ging to work out". (Let me just say, I don't think you are planning to leave, or that anyone wants you to leave your job... I just use my situation as a reference.)
She and I were in her office, where she could fold her hands, elbows on the desk and look down on me. The whole 2 months I worked there all she did was complain and bitch about my old boss (whom I did and do still adore). She also bitched about her younger brother (who is now a successful attorney), who happened to be a close friend of mine in high school. She went to highschool with me too, although she went on to med school to become a specialist, and I did not. She was a year older than me, but treated me like I was 15 years her junior.
In our final conversation, she snidely said, "Ms. S------, I am surprised at how little Dr. ----- actually taught you about dermatology, all those years you worked for him!" (My old boss was the head of Dermatology for the Cleveland Clinic for awhile! lol And he taught and taught and taught us all, all day every day.)
She then went on to tell me, "when I hire someone, I am investing in someone who I hope will become a LIFER, and make this job their career priority for 20 years or more. You have other priorities like school (which she knew when she hired me, and school is all online for me, in my free time), where apparently you will be wanting to move on in 5 years or so. I cannot tolerate that." (yes, she used the word "tolerate".)
This woman had other issues with me than just the flimsy excuses she put forth. We had been in school together, so I treated her with respect for her position and success, but I would not kiss her butt like all the other women I worked with did. I knew her family, and of some of the "family secrets". I allowed myself to disagree with her on occasion about political things. I corrected her once while we were doing a skin cancer surgery, and she about lost her bearings when I did so. All other Dr's I have worked for EXPECTED us to watch their backs and correct potential mistakes they would make, because their lives and financial security were on the line in a country full of "frivolous lawsuits" where people are digging for gold. They very much appreciated us being their "safety net" because they are so dang busy and sometimes mentally scattered as well. They accept that they are human and make mistakes, but are in a position of great responsibility, and I had even gotten a raise at one time because I was so particular about what we were doing and worked hard to prevent safety problems, whether I had to "correct" a physician or not.
In the case of Dr. Biyatch, I luckily went into the meeting fully intending to leave the establishment, so we were both on the same page. And instead of telling HER how I felt about her in kind, I kept my mouth shut and let her throw stuff out of her mouth at me until she was finished. I then said, "I definitely know that this arrangement is not going to work, pure and simple."
It was a very freeing thing.
Yah, I will probably have to further inventory this in time, or maybe not. But I don't have to take everything a superior says as "Gospel" either.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Resentments, work related and otherwise are covered in such masterly detail all throughout the BB and the 12 and 12 that I have nothing to add, except to point out they are covered in masterly detail in those publications and I have an utter and complete inability to see myself objectively but I do know that if I have a resentment there is something wrong with me and that the spiritual axiom is never wrong
I will leave the grouch and the brainstorm to others more qualified then myself, and personally? I work for psychotic crazy people, but my inventory isn't about them, it's how I navigate around them and retain my sanity, I can take their inventory until I am blue in the face, but the wisdom to know the difference says it's me that has to accept things as they are or make the changes myself
God I hate work related BS though, it is difficult to navigate on occasion, but no matter what, the answer is staring at me in the mirror every morning, and the truth is every time someone bothers me it's because they are rank amateurs displaying character defects best left to the experts, like me, and because I have made a decision based on self that has placed me in a position to be hurt
-- Edited by LinBaba on Wednesday 12th of January 2011 03:49:31 PM
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
I was on the road yesterday and took one of my sponsees along for the ride and the Step 5. (Hey, how many jobs can you get away with that!). Of course we were talking about resentments and I hapened to mention my quarterly review of the previous day. Just as we stopped off at the meeting, just before we got out of the car, he said, 'maybe it's time to drop YOUR resentment against your management structure and policy.'
Wow, goes to show I can learn from a newcomer.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Hey Bill, Something like this happened to me as well. What I did was I took a picture of my naked ass in the mirror and sent it to thirteen of my immediate supervisors with a note that they should go ahead and kiss the picture immediately and then afterwards as needed. OK, I did not really, but I made that up to make you feel better. I hate that horse crap. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Well today has been a moan fest among my colleagues, who got the roughest deal in the quarterly review? all that came to a stop when we learnt that one of our colleagues died of a stomach aneurism last night. 53 years old, leaves a wife, 1 son and 2 dogs.
He was a great guy, a good manager, would back you to the hilt in front of the customer and only kick your arse in private, you knew where you stood with him. Good fun to be with, cared a lot about people, loved his family and loved his ice hockey and motorbikes. Gonna miss him. As we say round here, they broke the mould after they made him.
-- Edited by bikerbill on Thursday 13th of January 2011 06:23:19 PM
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Well today has been a moan fest among my colleagues, who got the roughest deal in the quarterly review? all that came to a stop when we learnt that one of our colleagues died of a stomach aneurism last night. 53 years old, leaves a wife, 2 sons and 2 dogs.
He was a great guy, a good manager, would back you to the hilt in front of the customer and only kick your arse in private, you knew where you stood with him. Good fun to be with, cared a lot about people, loved his family and loved his ice hockey and motorbikes. Gonna miss him. As we say round here, they broke the mould after they made him.
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend, kind of shows the difference between real life and make believe problems in stark contrast what?
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Got it slightly wrong, my mate Steve had just the one son, but was as proud of him as if there were two of them.
Loads of Facebook messages, hope his widder sees them and it's reinforced how much he was loved and respected.
Nah, HC, I'll not be retiring just yet. Like the job too much and I'm pretty good at it. But just knowing I could retire if I wanted to means that the management bullsh1t stings a lot less.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
bill, really sorry to hear about your friend and colleague Steve. Amazing how these life-or-death situations can pop up anytime and give us a real attitude adjustment. Prayers going out for his family and all who will miss him.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
