I have been wanting to go to an AA meeting for a long time now. But fear has always held me back. So tonight I put on my big girl panties and headed out. I was scared to death. I figured I'd get met with "looks" and whispers. You know what I found?? A roomful of the absolutely nicest, kindest, most welcoming bunch of people I could ever meet. I was completely overwhelmed. A group of them always go to dinner after the meeting and they invited me along. I'm normally the type to just say "oh no, thanks, but I appreciate the offer". But before I knew it I heard myself saying "Yes, thanks, I'd love to". Eke.....what has happened to me??
In all seriousness, I'm only on day 4 of being sober. This weekend had me terrified as to how I was going to remain sober over the weekend. Hell, I haven't been sober over a weekend in 15 years. The answer laid inside that AA room. I have phone numbers and offers of various meetings and get togethers to keep me busy all weekend long. I no longer fear the weekend.
I think I'm going to love AA. I can't believe I've been missing out all of this time.
Wow, that's awesome. Sounds like you landed in a good group. Do be vigilant, though, your mood may swing up and down with little warning. Don't get discouraged! It will keep getting better if you work at it.
-- Edited by zzworldontheweb on Friday 7th of January 2011 11:11:10 PM
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
Hello Fallon and welcome to one of the true modern day miracle organisations. I joined AA in 2006 and in five short years it has turned my whole world around for the better in a way I never dreamed possible. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. In AA you'll find what your looking for. I always looked for the peaceful people who were loving life because they had what I wanted and I've never looked back. The price ( giving up drinking) to pay for the best life I could have ever dreamed possible is so cheap in comparison to what I have in my heart and my life today it's laughable. God Bless and enjoy your journey.
Now put another log on the fire...pull out that new Big Book and start reading the first 164 pages of How it works. Great that you had that "first" experience. When's the next one? (((hugs)))
congrats Fallon! I felt the same way the first meeting I went to..I was staying in a withdrawl center here in my city and part of the program was attending reg. meetings. There were only 2 girls there at the time (myself and another girl) and 6 guys..off we went. I was glued to the other girl, literally, I would not leave her side for fear of passing out I was so overwhelmed with every emotion.
that was 3months ago yesterday. Got my 3mth chip last night and it felt great. Read the big book! get involved! keep going back! it's true what they say, changes start happening, life gets better. I never thought I would last 3mnths with NO booze. and here I am.
so hats off to you making that 1st step, it's the start of a new, amazing journey!
I'm going to sticky this thread. Fallon, that's how it works. A lot of people in here and elsewhere will argue that the "Fellowship" is not nearly as important as working the program, but I will tell you that it certainly is unless you want to become a grumpy old single old timer. The extracurricular activities are what helped me make close friends in the program and kept me coming back. Don't get me wrong, get a sponsor asap, go to step meetings and start working the steps, but keep going out for coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinners, dances, open mic nights, bowling, softball....with your AA associates. This will give you a communal sense of bonding with your "family of choice" as we call it, and an opportunity to observe sober people having lots of fun, living a good life without alcohol.
Thanks all. My next meeting is tonight. There's an AA anniversary party and a gal from the meeting last night invited me. Tomorrow is another AA meeting at noon. Actually, I had received offers from so many of the ladies last night that I could have my entire weekend booked!! All the ladies (and men) were so welcoming that I was overwhelmed. I was given a 24 hour chip and the Big Book. Part of my treatment is to find a sponsor ASAP (even if it is a temporary sponsor). So I'll network around and see if I can find a good fit. None of the ladies from last night''s meeting volunteered to be my temporary sponsor. Is that usual or am I supposed to ask?
I just know that I felt like I belonged when I went to the meeting. I thought for sure I'd die alone on my couch drunk. I now have renewed hope.
I will begin reading the Big Book. I haven't yet because my life is such a mess (housework, bills, etc) that I've been busy getting that in order before I start reading. I've made sure to keep myself busy.
Thanks for all of your support. I'm not getting much from anyone else (other than the AA folks). They all seem to scoff at depression and alcoholism. Bt it's OK, I know it's real.
You'll get so much support from the people you meet in the rooms -- we all understand each other and have one common goal. It's such a comfort knowing there are people I can talk to any time of day or night who understand me like family and other firends may not.
I'm so happy for you, keep going and do the work (it's not that hard, especially when you start feeling the results -- you'll want ot do more).
You're right, there's great comfort in being with people who can understand. Went to another meeting tonight, this one a speaker meeting. How powerful. I suppose what has impressed me the most is the openness of all of these people. Never, and I mean NEVER have I been welcomed so warmly by other people. They think nothing of shaking you hand or even offering you a comforting hug. It's amazing, powerful stuff.
I also found a sponsor, at least a temporary sponsor, at this meeting. Feel good about that. Even though this meeting was on the opposite side of town, this gals home group is in my hometown. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.
It truly is the fellowship that can get me through this. I'm looking forward to more meetings and becoming more involved.
Your enthusiasm is infectious!! Be wary of getting complacent though. I have heard that relapses occur more often when things are going well. It seems when things are tough, peolple buckle down and work the program even harder. Not trying to be a downer, just sharing something that was was shared with me that's helped me through these 10 1/2 months.
I understand what you're saying Ferris, and I appreciate it. Right now I am in a bubble. I am in treatment and am on short term disabiity. I'm sure that makes it easier. Once I'm back out in the real world, I may feel entirely different.
But for me, the largest part is that I finally do not feel so alone. For years, I sat in my house and thought I was completely alone. And I mean ALONE. It just helps me so much to know that I'm NOT alone. That in itself is like a 50 lb. sack of crap off my back.
I will not remain complecant. I have been warned repeatedly that "it" can creep up on me without notice. I do not know how I will react when that happens but can only hope to be smart enough to call my sponsor before doing something stupid. But as my ex-husband told me yesterday, I am one stubborn son of a bitch. Once I make my mind up about something I am extremely determined.
I was told to put as much determination and effort I put into getting the next drink into working recovery. I have found the payoff amazing. Welcome. and keep coming back.
I am one stubborn son of a bitch. Once I make my mind up about something I am extremely determined.
lol, I can relate to that! I give 150% in anything I choose to do. if not more! I like the saying of putting as much into recovery as I did into drinking! definitely helps keep me in line. keep it up!! :)
I'm going to sticky this thread. Fallon, that's how it works. A lot of people in here and elsewhere will argue that the "Fellowship" is not nearly as important as working the program, but I will tell you that it certainly is unless you want to become a grumpy old single old timer. The extracurricular activities are what helped me make close friends in the program and kept me coming back. Don't get me wrong, get a sponsor asap, go to step meetings and start working the steps, but keep going out for coffee, breakfast, lunch, dinners, dances, open mic nights, bowling, softball....with your AA associates. This will give you a communal sense of bonding with your "family of choice" as we call it, and an opportunity to observe sober people having lots of fun, living a good life without alcohol.
I agree with this, However I don't believe anyone has ever made it a "either or" proposition, those of us that suggest the steps are important are saying that without the steps meetings and fellowship eventually become empty, it's like going to the ice cream parlor every night, fine for awhile but eventually you will need some nutrition (steps) on your plate to stay alive
It was explained to me that all of these activities were like spokes on a bicycle wheel, meetings, steps, sponsoring, being of service, helping newcomers, sharing, etc were all "spokes" and we needed all of them to keep our path true on the path of recovery
We all lean heavier on some spokes then others, in some circles not sponsoring, not giving back to the program that saved our lives and not helping newcomers is considered an awful sin approaching blasphemy, in others it's not so important, but no one has ever said meetings weren't an important and integral part of the Program, it's just some of us say that meetings aren't the entire program, big difference, for the alcoholic of the hopeless variety "Don't drink and go to meetings" is a death sentence, they need something more if they are to live and get sober
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
