Anyone have experience- I'm struggling

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Anyone have experience- I'm struggling

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hey Mike, I don't have experience with it, but likely the same stuff applies to quitting drinking. It takes time for your system to adjust. For sure those meds provided stress relief and now your body (and mind) have to learn again how to deal with it naturally. Back to the "there are no big deals" and "don't sweat the small stuff". P.a.w.s. probably applies here two. You're likely going to have to buy time. But you can do it, and work through the steps again, like one would with quitting smoking for example.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 3rd of January 2011 11:17:19 AM

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I've tried to go off meds repeatedly and suffered the consequences. After 1 depressive episode, your chance of having another one without medication is 50 percent. After 2 episodes it is 70 percent. If you have had 3 or more episodes of clinical depression, there is a 90 percent chance you will have another without medication. I first started having problems with depression in my 20s when I was in grad school studying to be a clinical psychologist. I thought that made me more unique than anyone...you know, psychologist goes crazy. Since then, I came out of the closet and dumped my fiance who turned out to be a lesbian and I also came to terms with being an alcoholic who was already working as a substance abuse counselor. I WIN! I am most unique. And I hijacked another thread and made it all abut me...thx drive thru.

happycamper · MIP Old Timer

I am not a doctor, and dont claim to be one either.

When I first got sober over 6 yrs ago, I thought I needed something to get me thru the ruff spots of sobering up, anxiety, blue - days, depression, etc.
My sponsor suggested that I try to use God, THE program of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship to get thru the first year. She said after that, if I felt like I still needed something, then go and see my doctor.

I am happy to report that I have not taken any other mind altering substances ( narcotic, addictive or otherwise ) since that time. When I work THE program of AA the exact way it is outlined in the book for me, I dont have any problems whatsoever.

There is no magic pill that is going to level me out and keep me happy or balanced. And my balance is due to God being first in my life, then my family, and then AA. When I keep things in this order and remember to rely soley on Him for my power, then I do just fine.

Its when I start trying to think I can run the show that I run into trouble.

This is my experience .. thanks for letting me share

gladlee · Senior Member

I've tried antidepressants in the past. I was washing em down with a margarita every day, so ultimately, I never found them to be helpful. hehe

What helps me today, is meditation, twice daily. I practice first thing in the morning before my thinking starts, and again right before I go to bed... about 20 minutes each time. Meditation shuts down my thinking, relaxes my nervous system, and I've found I don't need the meds anymore.

I discovered that if I slack off, the irritability and panic will start coming back, so meditation is a necessity for me. It doesn't happen very often because I enjoy it so much. (I was told it was a "good addiction.")

jonijoni1 · MIP Old Timer

Hi Mike,
I was on Celexa (and then it's sister drug, Lexapro) some years ago, I think perhaps about 8 years ago, for several years. I also weaned off after a time under a doctor's supervision. I recall feeling anxious, having "brain zaps", headaches and some nausea. I don't remember how long this lasted, but I don't think it lasted very long.

I have battled pretty severe depression for most of my life (and untreated until the past 12 or so years), so my experience may not be relevant to yours.

But what I do know is that I have gone on and off meds for the past few years, in "hopes" that there was nothing wrong with me and that I could just stay off medication. I happen to be one who cannot make that decision again, not any time soon. The last time I went off I was okay for a time (and still sober), and then got pretty whacked out and my symptoms were exacerbated tremendously. My mental issues have developed into a pretty serious illness that threatens my recovery if I don't treat both that and my alcoholism/addiction.

I may be a worst-case scenario though, I don't know.

But what I do know is that alcoholics have mood swings no matter how long we have been sober. There are doctors out there called Addiction Specialists. These men and women I think are best suited to advise us of whether what we are going through is "normal" for alcoholics/addicts, or whether there is a serious underlying problem that needs treated with meds. I would see if there is a doctor in your area who is an Addiction Specialist.

I will also add that since I have spoken to a few more women in AA about what's going on with me right now, I have found that more than I thought are on an antidepressant. Are alcoholics/addicts more likely to have had underlying depression/emo problems BEFORE becoming alcoholics/addicts? Or can we, through our using, "damage" the system in our brains that allows us to NOT feel continually anxious/depressed? I don't know, but many of us have pondered these questions. Some need outside help, some don't. What's important for me is to know which side of the coin I am on, and try to begin accepting it. That's where I'm at right now with my own dual-recovery.

Hope this helps,
Joni

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

I tried Zoloft, Prozac, and nicotine, and have given all three up (I smoke again though) and when I gave them up I got homicidal and suicidal, which I do when I give up any unhealthy addiction

Here is my experience

TwelveSteps · Senior Member

I am currently on Celexa and it makes a huge difference.

Some people in AA will imply that no medicarion is the best medication. Just remember that that is an opinion, not from a doctor.

GG

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

It's sounds like you are going about this the right way (and better than i did). The follow up with your GP is a good plan and being honest with the doctor and listening to all the answers in total that the doctor gives (i.e. not just the bit you want to hear) is the way forward.

I tried to wean off Citalopram with the doctors help about 3 and a half years ago, early in sobreiety - of course I knew better than the doctor and stopped them dead after a week. Not a good time in my life and not, not, not recommeneed.

Follow doctors advice.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Thank you all for taking the time to share your E,S & H with me. I really appreciate it.

missyj · Veteran Member

I was on it for about 6 months last year for anxiety and depression. 10 mg really , didn't do anything for me, so my doc upped it to 20, and it made me a complete loony bird. I was having unbelievable, overwhelming cravings for alcohol. Plus, I was spending $$ like it was nothing, and changing my appearance (chemical peels and hair color) constantly. I won't even talk about the horrible sexual side effects that I had, and the weight gain.

Finally, I stopped it cold turkey, and like the previous poster, I had the brain zaps and brain shivers, nausea, dizziness, jolts in my arms and legs, for about a month. Now, I'm on Zoloft and everything is great.

Sometimes they have to try a few different meds to get the right one. Good luck.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

(((((Mike B)))))...I am at my best chemical free. I've been somewhat where you
are at and thank God and the program and college and honest physicians who
were willing to help me "come to understand" that my best me is the chemical
free one and I have to learn alternative ways of living with some of the imperfect
or unexplained mind, body, spiritual and emotional conditions in my life.

I am a chemically tolerant human being meaning that in order for an MD to see
the desired chemical affect that they are looking for they need to "over" dose me
compared to others. That is natural conditioning for me and pertains also to
alcohol. I've been in toxic shock before and didn't even know or feel I was entering
the condition. After years of not drinking the Paxil and Zolof had a pronounced
affect on my physical and emotional conditioning..."not normal" and so I came off;
went thru the withdrawals (had the experience already) and then went after certain
contrasted segments of the program to help me recognize where I was at and also
remember the alternatives that were available to me. One of the alternatives to
depression for me is gratitudes and expanding my awareness to include the positives
around me. I also have learned to give myself grace and mercy and justifications to
go back to "baby stepping".

I am dysthymic from early age which could be a symptom of being born and raised
under the influence of alcoholism. I keep that diagnosis in mind so that when I
start to recognize some of the signs I can go to the alternatives. It's never perfect
and I am chemical free. I don't hold up an false pictures about how it is supposed
to be for normal people and therefore myself. I don't know any normal people so
that leaves me accepting me while I stand within range of God, AA and the Al-Anon
Family Groups, my sponsor, MIP and every or any other thing I can use to insulate
me from life in life's terms.

Thanks for the thread.

angelov8 · MIP Old Timer

I don't know that I can be of much help on the drug/anti-depressant thing but I find I want to reply anyway, to share more of myself on MIP.

In my head, my life-long story has been about depression. In sobriety, I have come to view myself and my life history differently as I work the steps in recovery. Up till now I would have told you that my whole life from early childhood until recently was colored by depression. Mostly I felt this about myself as I tried to relate to other people as a social being. I felt awkward and different; I've felt the trouble started as early as pre-school.

I began to seek therapy around age 19 and tried Prozac at that time. I felt it did help, but hated the stigma of it, taking anti-depressants wasn't so acceptable back then (1980's). About a decade later I tried Zoloft and maybe another drug new on the market that I don't remember and asked to take Prozac again because the side effects of the other two made me hyper and insane. The Prozac helped but I didn't like the side effects or being dependent on drugs, and looking back I chose booze and denial instead, which somehow was more acceptable.

I've been in AA for a year and a half with six months sobriety after drinking for one night last June. For me I noticed a lessening in depression after working on step three. I still suffer from episodes of the Dark Side and it's frightening. However, I don't feel my sobriety is seriously in danger because of it. I have had a few momentary suicidal thoughts, but not the lingering heaviness of before. Working the program works for me. Today I see my negative thoughts as patterns of thinking that I have internalized after years of living with a distorted sense of self. I don't know exactly how this happened. I don't have a cut and dry family history that points to it, as far as I can tell right now.

Working steps 4-9 really has revealed a lot to me. Too much to summarize. I'm now delving into Alanon because of living with active alcoholism in my home. There, the steps are similar, however the focus is slightly different. Some of the materials and tools there have shown me how this distorted sense of self evolved and how I enact behaviors in relationship that have reinforced all the negativity.

The best way for me is to Turn EVERYTHING over and rely on my HP. My distorted ego shuts out the wonder, power and warm mystery of a power greater than myself. Paying attention and believing in "Thy Will Be Done", has led to a life that is now rarely clouded by depression. It feels like a miracle to me. I don't even know who I am anymore, cause I felt my identity ='d depressed my whole life. My step four was small rather than a novel, because I neatly summed up my life-long resentment to everyone or "society" and bypassed individuals altogether.

Today I feel I have a choice about how I am and how I relate to others. I'm learning to be different. When I'm in the middle of a depressed state it's awful and scary. A few times I wondered if the recovery was the lie. Tapping into HP via step 11 is the way I choose to work on rearranging my thinking and keep the demons away. I'm told it gets better and easier.

I considered going back on meds right before getting sober, at that time I was suffering from severe anxiety, agoraphobia, I was pretty paranoid. I've seen therapists off and on. I think I was mostly truthful except maybe about exactly how much I drank and it was never suggested that I try medication or that I suffer from a mental illness that would be life-threatening without medication, this from the doc's I've seen in the last 5 years.

So this is how it's been for me. It feels strange to be changing and it's not always easy. Today I don't feel I need to use medication and I might be lucky.

I'm told that honest and straightforward communication with a
good doc is recommended. I have friends in AA who feel that they are bonkers with out anti-depressants and such; their life and sobriety from alcohol would be in serious jeopardy. I respect each individual's choice. It's an individual program where we help others. It's a paradox but it works if you work it with HP.

Thanks for letting me share your thread. Take care and it will work out.

cindy · Senior Member

i dont discuss my alcoholism with drinkers. i dont discuss medical issues with people who dont have a medical degree. ive seen people in the program that died because they went off their meds on the "advice" of wellmeaning but misguided members of the program.