And time once again for the recurring topics... maybe I can throw a bit of a different slant on things.
First of all, although I like Charley Brown a lot and could identify with him a lot as a kid, I have never been one to get depressed at Christmas. I think as down as I ever got was the transition from teenhood to early adulthood, when I realized that celebrating Christmas was no longer my parents' responsibility... a year later I took the bull by the horns and decided to do my own thing and I have been ever since.
I understand the reasons why so many are down at Christmas. It's sad that Christmas is so often connected with bad memories of drunken parents, arguments, violence, and other hardship. But holiday depression even seems to affect those with what should be happy childhood memories. Christmas changed for me, from a time of anticipation of all the goodies I was going to get, to just appreciating the whole thing. I try to treat Christmas as a process, not an event. Quite often my Christmas celebration is the day before or the day after - just depends on what the rest of the family is up to and how it can best be scheduled. A lot of times I don't have the money to get presents until after the holidays... my family understands this. My annual shopping trip with my daughter is right now scheduled tentatively for January 16th.
My first sober Christmas, here in my home town they had a huge Alktathon that ran for 72 consecutive hours December 24 thru 26. There was a meeting every hour on the hour, and plenty of food all the time. I had never experienced anything like it before and managed to make several meetings including the one my home group hosted. The Alkathon has since been downsized and shortened... and because of family activities I rarely get to go anymore. I miss it, but life changes and things move along.
When it came to me and drinking, Christmas wasn't anything special. I didn't drink on weekends or holidays... I drank every day. So doing my first Christmas without drinking didn't seem like a big deal when I had at the time 10 months under my belt. One year I got drafted to go speak at a halfway house on Christmas Day, and that was a fun experience! Nothing like short notice.
I used to live life from one event to another. I loved Christmas, and the anticipation, the whole build-up. I was more likely to be depressed after the big event was over with, and thinking wow, 364 days to go. LOL. Learning to live life one day at a time, it's not so much that special days lose their significance. More like every "plain old" day gains significance. Maybe I can't have a 20-lb turkey every day, but all that is good about Christmas, I can carry with me every day.
Sorry if this doesn't make too much sense, I just needed to say it today. Merry Christmas everybody!
Barisax sez " Learning to live life one day at a time, it's not so much that special days lose their significance. More like every "plain old" day gains significance. " I love that! Your whole post "makes sense", and is a wonderful description of enjoying "the process". My favorite part about Christmas (the spirit of Christmas, the spiritual core) is taking all my collected Christmas music and playing it through "the holidays". I play it during the year too, but I don't broadcast that too much LOL!
Yeah, I never really increased or curtailed my drinking around Christmas. I never really got depressed around it because my expectations have always been kind of medium. Not so much that my family was any more or less screwed up than everyone elses', but because the holiday has always mostly had religious significance for me and it's hard to spoil that no matter what else is going on.
Merry Christmas!
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
Thanks for sharing everyone, Im hoping your esh can help turn my attitude around ... and trust me Ive been trying since it started ohhhh about 2 wks ago.
I find myself strangely being more depressed ( and I guess I should use the word 'blue' instead) during holiday times now that Im sober. and I know this is my own fault, and Im praying, and going to meetings, coming here, working with others, etc.
I have not had a drink in over 6 yrs and I hate to say it, but this Christmas I wish I could ... minus the bad stuff that would happen if I did, lol.
I am seasonally self employed and I have been so busy running here, there, gifts here and there, dishes to pass here and there and somewhat pissed off about it all. dont know how I would have done it all if I was working. Im sure Id survive. Again, my own fault, I should have limited more so the number of parties and gatherings so I wasn't so overwhelmed.
Im on my 2nd marriage, blended family .. that doesn't blend well, yay! So, its 2 diff families at 2 different places at 2 differeint times. Some of the gatherings are uncomfortable and awkward, so I just get thru it . Not to many years ago, I drank thru it .. controlling myself tho so I didnt make to much of an a** of myself.
I know that I am not manic-depressive, but I have been up and down lately. I keep telling myself that I dont wanna be depressed, it will all work out the way its suppose to, and all it is , is a few or so hours here and there, and it'll all be over in a couple days.
One day at a time, maybe one hour at a time, I'll get thru it. And I will not pick up a drink .. if I get scarred, I'll exit stage left and get the heck out of where Im at. ( one place we are going there will be booze big time ).
No alkathons here in my town, just regular meetings. I probably sound like Im feeling sorry for myself. My sponsor would tell me, 'if nothing changes, nothing changes'. And for me to make a gratitude list. She also tells me that a Grateful Alcoholic will not drink!!
Thanks for letting me share, Merry Christmas to each and every one of You!
