So this is Christmas, last new year I was worried about my drinking, So I started cutting back, by July I broke up with the love of my life because I had actually stopped kissing her because I didn't want her to smell the booze on my breath, pathetic, and the relationship disolved.
So after the break up I took it as a one way ticket to drink even more, being self employeed and an online seller its easy to keep this life style up. Minimal a micky of whiskey or vodka a night.
Around Nov I desided i can't keep this up i'm going to die, i need to start working, i found a job that works the shit out of me 50 hours a week. Which is good it was sort of keeping me sober throughout the week, but then i started telling myself well i work so hard all week so I should party to make it worth while working.
Two weeks ago, after only a miky of whiskey and a few beer I complete blacked out and it was the scariest thing I have experenced in my life.
BAM!
This weekend I got my self totally fucked up and lost the time again vodka agian, I took a 100 dollar cab ride, for no reason since i had a place to crash, which was convent since my car was there, he took my phone as collatteral and I still ran away from the cab, then jump a 8 foot fence , tore the crap out of my arm and landed on my head.
Did i learn my lesson - No I figured vodka was the problem, last night I drank beer at a christmas party, I did better i remeber most of the night but i still blacked out for about an hour or so that i don't recall and its scares me.
I don't want to drink agian, i feel it in my heart this time. I have to or I think i will die.
Hello Mandm and welcome back. It usually does get worse before it gets better. We've all been there. Have you looked for a meeting to attend in your area?
There's a lot to learn about how alcoholism works and tools to help you avoid drinking. It's relatively easy to quit drinking for a month or two, but then when we start feeling better, we forget how bad it was. Getting to 90 days without drinking is crucial. Going to meetings as oftern as possible (daily is suggested) increases one's chances of staying sober.
OK, here's the deal. You can't drink any more. You can't taper off, you can't drink like a gentleman, you have to stop. Not one drop. You and alcohol are not made for each other and it's time to get a divorce. Some of us are just like that, it's nothing to be ashamed of. NOT DOING anything about it IS something to be ashamed of.
If you're drinking every day, you'll probably suffer some withdrawal symptoms. Anxiety, sweats, insomnia. If you're drinking A LOT every day, it could be medically dangerous to quit. But you HAVE to quit, so go see your doctor. He/she can help you get through it, maybe you'll need to check into some place for a few days. Take some sick time off work if you have to. You don't need to explain to anybody, it's nobody's business.
Next, AFTER you've dried out, it's time to figure out why you're drinking and find or make something else in your life that's more important. Outpatient treatment is one way to start this (again, your doctor can help), AA is another. If you try AA, go to a meeting EVERY day for at least the first couple of weeks. You may find that a lot of us over-drank for similar reasons.
But don't worry about that right now. Think about how you're going to get through the next few days.
No, you can't wait until after Christmas or New Years. Bad idea.
Good luck brother, and keep coming back. There is a lot more to learn but you can take it one step at a time.
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
yeah your right, I will be stopping now not another drop is right, I really feel i burnt myself hard this last weekend and its scary blacking out really it is. My arms a mess and i have to go back to pay the cabbie not cool .
I drink because i can't sleep mind you I find myself sleeping better now that i'm working alot.
so i have been generally dry throughout the week for example last week I drank sat sober till wed Thursday friday sat drunk .So three days yeah thats sad.
2-3 days is about how long it takes for the withdrawal symptoms to get bad. We think we can't sleep because of "nerves" or something else. We think we "need" alcohol to calm down or get to sleep, when in reality all we're doing is suppressing the withdrawal symptoms. How much do you drink, honestly (again, don't be ashamed)? Will you go see your doctor tomorrow?
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
Yup, sounds like a change is in order. AA can and will help if your done with the insanity, but it aint easy. Find out where the meetings are in your area and GO. Meetings are what help us get and stay sober. If your going to do this the AA way then meetings are mandatory. If you have become willing to go to ANY length, like our BB tells us we HAVE to be, then you will have no reasons or excuses not to attend. It's all about willingness my friend... how willing are you?
B....
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Nothing ever truly dies. The universe wastes nothing. Everything is simply, transformed. :confuse:
Well it needs to be done day two, hit the gym which helps . I don't plan on seeing the doctor, I was always drinking enought to stop remembering.I also have a problem when i drink that dream which sucks but i'll have to deal it it. I found i'd feel rested after drinking even though i had a hangover .
Well it needs to be done day two, hit the gym which helps . I don't plan on seeing the doctor, I was always drinking enought to stop remembering.I also have a problem when i drink that dream which sucks but i'll have to deal it it. I found i'd feel rested after drinking even though i had a hangover .
so "normally" you weren't drinking during the week all the time, so this is just more of the same, what are you planning on doing different come the weekend?
The gym aint gonna save you, nor will your good intentions, what are you putting into your "sobriety piggy bank" for when the s*** hits the fan?
the very defintion of an alcoholic is someone who, at some point can't bring into his mind with sufficient force the idea that taking a drink is a bad idea, at some point there is a failure in the kind of thinking that keeps us from putting our hand on a hot stove again and again, and when the thought does come, it's soon replaced with the tired old idea that "it won't burn me this time" or "it will be different this time"
once that sort of thinking is established in an alcoholic there is very little hope for him, and with just "hitting the gym" and thinking that is helpful, that is the very thinking in question, the thin end of the wedge that ends with another binge
reminds me of the guy who jumps out the skyscraper, and as he goes by each floor the people hear him saying to himself "well so far so good"
well, so far so good, but what is your plan to deal with that ground that is approaching you at a high velocity, even if you don't see it yet, because it's coming
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
mandm, If you start getting anxious and nervous or sweaty, it's NOT nerves, it's withdrawal symptoms. DO NOT take a drink to suppress them. Hang tough and they will get better in a few days.
You really should go to the doctor or at least an AA meeting.... We promise they will not try to tattoo "Alcoholic" on your forehead or anything
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Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
I was drinking through the week as well but when i started working i stopped working out helps keep things in order for me reminds me to keep my body health, id like to attend a meeting its just finding the time to go to one
