Hello, my name is Mo & I'm new to this forum & sobreity. I have known of my problem for awhile, never acted on getting healthy or even acknowledging it. I found myself in some legal trouble too & unfortunately not the first time. When I was in trouble before I was not interested in getting myself sober, I really didn't think I had a problem, just thought I was one who only got caught. That was 7 years ago. Over the last few years I started to recognize there was a problem, i wasn't just a "social drinker" that I thought I was. Unfortunately I didn't seek help. 1. I thought if I just maintained low-key drinking at home I would be fine. 2. I have such a large circle of friends that always want to party, I didn't want to catch slack for not drinking. Writing that even makes me feel silly for saying it. Tonight I will be attending my first AA meeting, well first meeting with true intentions that is. I have to say I'm actually excited about it, too nervous to say anything there though. I am hoping at some point I finally understand why I've been drinking & hopefully see that there is life without booze. I will admit though, I'm nervous what my friends will think that I'm not drinking anymore.
Welcome. Thanks for sharing. You have made a great decision to something about your problem. I just kept going to AA meetings and got the AA book and started to read about this disease of alcoholism. Despite myself I got well. My friends were sceptical about my recovery, but I found my true friends in AA. My AA friends cared about my well being. They always encouraged me and never put me down. I changed my playgrounds and I play a new ball game which I thoroughly enjoy now.
Thank you for the welcome. I was wondering how soon (or if ever) I would get a response. I think I need people around me, but not the friends I currently have. I turned to a message board hoping to find such people. Is it possible to do this on my own? I do not have any children, a husband/boyfriend, or friends that don't drink. I get nervous that not having a close by support base will make it difficult.
My support base was my AA friends. My wife did not believe I was an alcoholic because we had everything material. I continued with meetings despite how I felt. Then I started to help others and suddenly a whole new dimension of my recovery began. I started taking others to meetings and worrying about their problems and how I could help them and my problems began to vanish. Now my wife and I are both committed to helping others. Do not be afraid. Just keep sharing with us even if you don't feel like it. We have some wonderful people on this board who will help you and support you.
Welcome! You should be excited. If you get honest with yourself and listen to those who can guide you a beautiful life thant just keeps getting better and better awaits you!
Wow, thank you to Gonee, Susie, & happycamper! I just returned from the meeting & received many phone #'s. I was quite taken back by the overwhelming support by complete strangers. It was a lecture. I felt even though the speakers story wasn't exactly like mine, she did many of the justifications & excuses I have been doing to myself & others for so long. I am looking forward to tomorrows meeting already. I am hoping that with my 60hr work week & on days I cannot make it to a meeting, I am able to turn here. Thanks again for the support :)
Welcome. As Happy Camper said your friends shouldn't be your focus now. And if they are friends, they will understand you need this and it won't be an issue (that's how it worked for me). Plus if you keep going to meetings and work the program, you will find plenty of new friends in the program. Friends who truly care about you and you're sobriety. Think of all the numbers you got at one meeting. Next step, find a sponsor. Good luck on your journey.
Hi bill recovered alcoholic. I worked into a meeting this time around wondering if I would run into some one I had done wrong. I did and they said that they had been praying for me. This past month I went to a funeral of some one from the same area.where I grew up which is where I got sober. I guy from those days said hi and all that stuff .I had no memory of him at all I had to appalogize . Lol a point to be made was that none of my so called freinds ever tried to stay in touch .I. foung a whole new set of freinds and we help and love each other and our families . Welcome to a a .if you are as hopeless as I was . And you have tried every way to get and stay sober and it did not work .then I hope this way which is spiritual in nature will help. We do not have a monopoly on God. But God of your understanding is neccasary for the needed power to stay sober for one day at a time.I thank God for you .! I remember being new.and that I was a pain in the ass I did not listen to my sponsor til the pain was to great. Not to do what he told me to do.welcome home Mo !
Welcome Mo! You might be able to keep some of the same friends, but I would stay away from parties and the bar for a while. Your sobriety is worth it. If they give you flack then you don't have enough in common outside drinking to sustain a true friendship anyhow. As far as doing it alone...You could for a little while...but it will drive you nuts and likely, you will eventually give in. The support and steps of AA is the best long term fix I have encountered and I wasn't able to stop drinking on my own before, no matter how many times I tried.
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Welcome, Mo. You've seen the power of AA at your first meeting. The Grace of God or Higher Power if you prefer is next. The way to a HP/God is the Steps. A Sponsor can take you through the Steps. It's strongly suggested that we have a Sponsor.
I couldn't get sober on my own. No human power could keep me sober. They tried, but to no avail. God can keep me sober. AA & the Steps keep me tied to God.
My experience with friends was only a few stuck around and supported me. Which is o.k. today. After being in AA for a while and going through the Steps, I didn't want to hang out with the others anyways, so it all worked out. I surround myself today with loving, caring and supportive people. The one's found in AA.
I will be attending my 2nd meeting tonight, this one will be an open discussion. Now I'm a bit nervous. I shared more info here (even though its not that much) then I have in the last 10years about my drinking. Am I expected to share there? Should I share? I was amazed by the wlecome of everyone last night but today I'm a bit nervous again. Complete strangers, what if I know someone, how private is it, what if there is someone that knows someone at my job... situations like that have been going through my mind today. Not that I am not serious about my sobreity but I know that there are some out there that may think being an alcoholic is deemed as a harmful person in soceity. (You know the closed-minded people) I know I work with those type of people & I am scared to death of losing my job over me making myself a healthier person. I think the privacy of a MB is more comforting to me right now or is this the time I should really be speaking directy to people?? Any advice is appreciated.
-- Edited by momo31 on Monday 13th of December 2010 06:35:37 PM
Typical alcoholic thinking lol.....what if ...what if....... lol I don't mean to make light of it. I use to do that all the time. What if I spit when I talk....what if they dont get what im talking about etc... In my experience it is never ever as bad as my alcoholic brain would like me to think it is. Unreal expectations. Your right to be excited. You will be with people just like yourself. Just go relax and you don't have to talk. Its best to do alot of listening in the beginning. I love your attitude and excitement for the program. It just keeps getting better and better. I by some chance you see someone, dont worry. You own no one any explainations. Hold your head up and smile. You are making a better life for yourself and your child. The only thing you should be is proud!!
I would speak directly to people. There is no shame in being in recovery. Real meetings probably have more anonymity than here. No need to be paranoid. If there was so much danger in speaking in meetings and being in recovery, nobody would go. There are also laws to protect you from being fired for being in recovery. There are not so many laws protecting you for being an active alcoholic at work.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
That's great that you are have realized that there is a problem and seeking help Keep coming back you will learn a lot here. I have in just 9 days. That is how long i have been sober and i can feel the difference already.
Aloha Mo and welcome from the Pacific...Glad you had the sobering presence of mind to seek help and supportive information about what's bothering you. My first few months were about sitting still with an open mind and playing "sponge" in the rooms. I soaked up alot of what I heard and just listened listened listened as best I could. I won't tell you what I had to do other than just sit and listen at first. I was told I didn't have to share, that I could "pass" and then just continue listening. I did that because I couldn't share about something I knew nothing about. So simply...good to have you reach the doors and keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
So I sat tonight & listened at the open meeting. They were discussing about resentment. Everyone shared how & who they resented and what the power of prayer did/does for them. I must'vehear Higher Power & God a thousand times. Then they called on me. I thought of passing but then decided to share what was exactly on my mind. I said "I'm new here & to sobreity, I really just came to listen but I would like to say something- I have no idea what you people are talking about! No offence of course. I've been to Catholic school, church on the holidays/funerals/baptisms/weddings but I am still unsure of who God really is. I don't understand why he keeps me here & if he really does care for me. BUT, I listen to all of you & finding such comfort in him or a higher power & I really can't wait for that feeling". So b'cuz I was a bit uncomfortable even sharing in the first place, I stared at the table while I was speaking. At the end I looked up & everyone was smiling at me, I even saw a thumbs up & a wink. I can only assume they know exactly what I'm feeling b'cuz they were in my shoes at one time too. I just hope they share the "secret" with me so I can too be like them.
Yeah, nothing like the feeling of being able to talk about something really difficult with a group of people who've been through the same thing. Very cathartic.
I would encourage you to look deeper into the faith of your youth and re-visit the narratives that you found most helpful. Since you're Catholic, that might include the story of the nativity, the sermon on the mount, or the book of James. Just some suggestions you might be familiar with. Up to you.
__________________
Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, and unto God that which is God's.
It's not a secret...It's there for the taking but you have to follow up and do the work. It will all be revealed to you little by little in God's time.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Right on!! You took the opportunity to share your humility...what an expression of willingness. I share a portion of your experiences also and this isn't about me, it's about you continuing to reach out and keep coming back with an open mind and the desire to stay sober today. In support...
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him.
From the Big Book, chapter 1 page 12:
"My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "why don't you choose your own conception of god?""
"It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required for me to make my beginning."
Chapter 4 page 47:
"That was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe."
"So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level."
The bold is mine. I got hung up on steps 2 and 3 until my sponsor and I read this last statement during one of our BB readings/discussions. A few weeks later it just clicked. I found my own HP and was now able to work the rest of the steps. It has changed my life.
Peace, Patrick
-- Edited by ferrisdp on Tuesday 14th of December 2010 06:18:39 AM
-- Edited by ferrisdp on Tuesday 14th of December 2010 06:19:43 AM
Hi Bill recovered alcoholic. I had the experience of this after I surrendered to the fact that I was a drunk and that no human power not even the united states navy could have sobered me up. I did not want to drink any more I tried every thing else first . I was suffering from a disease that only a spiritual experience would concure. This solution is just that .this process has given a relationship with Gog as I understand him now .get phone numbers for the woman
