finding a sponsor

loretta · Veteran Member

finding a sponsor

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Yeah, you do ask someone at a meeting. You could also share that you are looking for one and would appreciate any advice or guidance from others in the meeting about who might be a good person to ask. Having friends to call is good, but eventually, it has to be someone from AA and only a sponsor can guide you in the right ways towards spiritual growth and the steps. Good luck

Mark

LinBaba · MIP Old Timer

Questions and Answers about Sponsorship

Personally? What I'd recomend to a friend is

Someone with over 5 years of sobriety
Has worked the steps out of the Big Book with a Sponsor who worked the steps out of the Big Book
Has a Home Group
has "what you want" ie; serenity, wisdom, sobriety, a healthy relationship, a healthy workplace environment

Sponsors are a bit like Sergeants in Boot Camp, what I mean by that is NOT that they yell at you, but it's someone you don't always like telling you to do things you don't understand or even want to do in order to keep you alive when you leave

"Friends" aren't a great idea to have as Sponsors, because one of the jobs a sponsor does is tell the truth no matter what, that could hurt your feelings, thus could jeopardize your friendship

However, I have ended up incredibly close to my sponsors and sponsees, those that I have completed the steps with are much more like family then friends, truthfully, they are closer then family, there are no secrets or skeletons

Klaatu · Senior Member

Nothing more I can add except do a search of the forum. This question has been asked allot, and there is allot of good information already here. I agree totally with what LB and Pinkchip said about the whole friend thing. I was told don't ask a friend to sponsor you, because the sponsor/sponsee relationship can ruin a friendship. This was absolutely right on for me. I lost some good friends because of the honesty that is crucial to a good sponsor/sponsee relationship. Find someone who has the kind of sobriety you want and ask them. That's what I did, and so far I haven't regretted it.

K.....

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Good information already given. I would recommend the following: some are repeats- but it helps me to write them out for me....

- Pray to a HP of your understanding to reveal more to you in finding a Sponsor.
- Look in meetings for someone that has what you want. i.e.- Looks content, may share in meetings and you like what they have to say.
- Raise your hand and let the Group know your new and need help- Humility, this is were it's starts.
- Sponsor must be in AA: no friends for many reasons
- Sponsor has a Sponsor Etc......
- Sponsor has worked the Steps as outlined in the BB
- Sponsor is willing to take you through them as outlined in the BB

Rainspa · Senior Member

I don't have any different information; but am adding my .02 that the guys are right.

I wrote this elsewhere a while back for someone that was a little newer than you are, but I think it mostly applies.

How to get a sponsor:

Go to a meeting.

Athe the meeting, when they ask "Is anyone here in their first 30 days of sobriety, say "Yes, my name is ______. I need a sponsor, AND I am willing to do the steps. Please talk to me after the meeting.

If this does not work, go to another meeting, and do the same thing.

OR

Go to a meeting. Arrive early. Walk up to someone and say "Have you done all the steps in order from the Big Book?"

If they say YES, then say "I need help with that. Will you be my sponsor?"

If they say NO to either question, (or ramble on, blah, blah, blah) say "Thanks anyway" and ask someone else until someone says YES.

You should have a sponsor (or at least a temporary sponsor) by the end of the day.

My .02
Let us know how that works out,
Rainspa

Posey · Veteran Member

Yup, yup & yup. Not surprised you have a cough & sore throat... AA meetings can be a great place to spread germs! We eat, drink (not alcohol!), cry, wipe our eyes, blow our noses. Then at the end we all... hold hands & say the closing prayer! There's lots of hugging too. It's worth it.... but I'm gonna get some antibacterial gel just the same. :)

mental defect · Veteran Member

Guys follow the directions in the book not what I think it says .Hi bill recovered alcoholic. This is my experience. When I finally got a sponsor I did not know what good soberiey or bad soberiety were. I knew what I wanted was never good for me ! .my first sponsor had a little over a year . He had been sponsoring since he got thru the steps . And I was a little under a year when I started sponsoring .After I got thru the steps and was practicing ten eleven and twelve. I have been blessed. And am still blessed. I have my guys like my sponsor and his have done.go thru the same process. There are around 100 0f us in the same group from the same sponsor generations of guys sponsoring. And it will go on that way . We are the ones who get talked about . But we. Are the ones who have tried everything else first .the desperate ones who have no where or none else to go or who will help we were the heart breakers the ones who were puzzling you. I knew I had to stop running on my own thinking period. We were shown how to work the steps in a manner that the whole purpose was to give it away. So loretta find a women who is willing to show you a completely different way to live. Experience and working knowledge of the twelve steps thru the big book.I still sponsor new guys cause that is why God sobered me up . And if you put in the same willingness in a real meeting as you do here .somone will help you . Its when you don't have the willingness that your real sponsor will show up . That's how it worked for me .