A man once ridiculed me in front of a large class in school, and I have hated his guts ever since. That was 35 years ago and I do not know whether he is dead or alive. If he was aware of my intense dislike, it certainly never bothered him. But it certainly bothers me even now. His face springs up in my memory and I begin to hate him all over again. This situation is just pure dumbness; I'm not hurting him, but I am distressing myself.
I found that once I wrote out my resentment , the cause , what it affected , in detail not a check box. I was able to see the power it had over me and that it was killing me, that to presive extent that I permitted these I squandered the hours that might have been worth while. Admitting I was some what at fault because I can still be the actor trying bo be the director! I looked at it from an entirely different angel. Putting out of my mind how the hurt was .and I resultly looked at me . How did I treat that person selfish dishonest resentment and fear . Sacastic . Bullying .trying to make you look bad so I feel better about me .then after I get this all down I have digested some huge chunks of truth about me. And then I have to be open and honest with some one .perhaps someone who is armed with the facts about them selves and who have this solution .my sponsor! Or somone else in the support group .who like me look at there live on a daily basis.I tell them show them my paperwork and then in a few hours they show me where I am dishonest or selfish or have been the way as this resentment .I then commence to grow in affectveness and understanding.make my amends to all those I hurt I have gone to God and asked for forgiveness and to remove my defects of charec
