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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> always have a plan B
Post Info TOPIC: always have a plan B
jj


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always have a plan B
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my sponsor says always have a 'plan B'  so you never are "stuck" in a situation with alcohol temptations.  and she is right.  as soon as i feel uncomforable in a situation, i need to remove myself from it.  the stronger i get in my AA program, the less i feel uncomfortable.  i do not 'romance the drink' by remembering all the good times i had while drinking.  instead, i remember the 2 times i ended up in jail.....  poof, romance gone.   always have a plan B...  do not leave the house without it.

  i got sober in 2007 but relapsed after 7 months.  i was unwilling to do "whatever it takes" to accept and surrender to a higher power, because i was still a teeny bit sure i could drink like a normal person.  wrong.   my relapse is what brought me to the place i needed to be to want my recovery... expensive, but necessary for my alcoholic brain and attitude and  i never had a plan B -  i ended up deciding to drink

there can be discomfort being around drunk people (it has gotten more amusing for me, but always a good reminder of where i came from)  so i find someone sober and we go for a walk, or i call someone from my cell phone, or go to my room and read (my ever present book...  i am an avid reader).   

if there is a spa or salon, go get a pedicure or a massage.  do something that makes you feel  great.  if there is a pool, go swimming.  doing physical activity is the best thing to get out of a funk and avoid thinking about alcohol.... alone or with a friend or spouse or child...  just do it.

praying before a party/activity is always a good idea and remaining open to see if there is someone there who might need an encouraging word.  in AA we are to be willing to be of service to others....   to drinkers and non drinkers.  noticing if someone needs an encouraging word or a smile or help up off the floor is being of service...  it can be as simple as that.

Thanks for being here and helping me stay sober today.
my name is Sheila and i am an alcoholic.



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Rainspa


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Oh, good idea.

One of my best sources of info is "Living Sober". Marvelous book.

I did just as you advised (and I think it did too)

Pray before going, and if I feel tempted leave. Don't say good bye, or wait for it to pass, just walk out the door.

Knowing that was my plan going in, I've only walked away once.

Maybe the idea that one is willing to put sobriety first makes a difference in one's reactions to alcohol?



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LinBaba


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Praise The Lord but drive your own car

I always have an escape route or I don't go, and it's not because I might drink, I just refuse to ever be stuck around drunk people again, like in step one we admit we are powerless over alcohol, for me drinking made me powerless over everything, or gave everyone power over me I should say, from police officers to girlfriends to judges to jails to family, my choices while drinking gave away all my power, and I was constantly stuck doing things I didn't want to do, listen to lectures, go to rehab programs, endure tongue lashings, get locked up, it's a small thing but I won't give that up that power to another human being ever again, so my ability to walk away from uncomfortable situations both physically and emotionally is one of the biggest freedoms sobriety brought me

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mikef


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One of the hardest things for me early in sobriety was playing drums in different bands ,late 10-2 jobs,at times long distances from home in a room full of drunks ,including sometimes members of the band..My fear was not picking up it was dying of boredom from being with people who couldn;t walk ,talk and  defintely not drive.(Oh man ,that was me for 25 years,yikes!!!)  For me it was the song from BB KING playing nightly,,,,,"The thrill is gone,its gone away for good...!Plan B ,find sober players and run away from that environment,took awhile but was great plan! Sobriety was singing me a "mean tune kid,said sock em in the guts yeah ,yeah,yeah(Chicago V,maybe 25 or 6 to 4???  :)Thanks Sheila I continue using plan B and also am always available to those who may want to know there is a  "solution"!!smile

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mental defect


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I was always taught to drive myself or with a person in a a. And park where I do not get blocked in . I always have meeting planned. My name is Bill recovered alcoholic.

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bikerbill


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So far there is one ongoing issue that I need a plan B for. The quarterly face to face team meeting and team building event. The Team meeting is OK, the team building event is OK, but the team dinner can be difficult for me.

Back in my drinking days (my other life) I was the team drunk and the team clown and the team lunatic. The first team dinner I went to in my new life I quickly saw that a colleague had willingly taken on my old role. He hadn't actually changed, just that his behaviour was more noticeable becasue there wasn't an old me for him to hide behind. Drunk people are now boring and tedious and frustrating to me. Their conversation is on an endless 8 minute loop. They get more and more repetitive and more and more boring. And they smell bad.

I was taught, take your own car, don't tie yourself to someone who needs a lift, be able to escape. I hold this plan and so I know I can go to the dinner, but leave when I want. I don't go for the pre dinner drinks, I turn up at the restaurant bang on time. I tend to leave straight after paying my share. I also have a trusted friend who knows that if I get up and leave, no-one needs to follow me, no-one needs to worry, I'm just going home. He'll field all the awkward questions and if he don't, well I won't be there to worry about it. So far I've not needed to get up and leave.

I work away a lot. I stay in hotels and tend to eat alone. I find out where I'm going, find the nearest meeting, then book a hotel close to the meeting. I check in the hotel, eat, turn up early for the meeting and I'm the next to last one to leave the meeting (the locker upper is the last) then I go back to the hotel and GO TO BED!

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nick w


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Thanks for that Sheila, I have had a plan B since I became sober, it doesn't matter where I am or what event it is, my first priority is my escape if things get tough, car easy access, make no promises to how long I am stopping and tell anyone I have given a lift to that i might have to leave early, my soberity comes first and when i have had drive away when things are getting tough is a relief. Look after yourself.

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jj


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thank you for your inputs, oldies and newbies!! i was mostly writing to newbies because they are looking for a way to stay sober and are looking for tools on this website... and reading Jeanne's post helped me decide to share "plan B" and how it works for me.
hugs
jj/sheila

-- Edited by jj on Thursday 2nd of December 2010 10:15:42 AM

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TwelveSteps


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I live in a city where many friends don't have cars and I faced a lot of flak when I decided to stop giving rides to people to events where alcohol will be served. Now I make clear that I will give them a ride to the event, but that I plan to leave whenever I feel the need to do so, so they should be prepared to take a cab or the bus home if they want to stay. Then I can leave whenever I want without feeling guilty.

GG

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turninggrey


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I also put a jetpack in the trunk of the car for those "real emergencies". 

  



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