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Post Info TOPIC: Realization?
peaches1


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Realization?
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Hello All, I am in a battle with my mind. I have a very close friend that told me I have a serious drinking problem and I need help. I trust and believe in him as we are very close friends seriously like brother and sister. My problem with his comment is, I am not in total agreeance. I drink on weekends and I do sometimes consume past a "normal" level. I have drank for more than 20 years and do have a high tolerance levl for alcohol. I do not keep it in my house by choice, don't have to have it during the week and even the weekends I do drink (which is not every weekend), I do drink to get drunk. Do I have problems that I an suppressing, sure I do, do I cry sometimes while intoxicated thinking of my past problems sure I do. I am also aware that alcohol alters the mental state of mind for various reasons. I do not want to go to an AA meeting, I may need to try to become a more sociable drinker and to know my limit or stop at one once I pick up, I am TRULY guilty of drinking to get drunk. I am not sure where to totally begin with help on this?? I do not feel like a have a problem I cannot control, or maybe I do sometimes. This is really new to me and I was searching the web because my sister is 16 months clean and she told me to go online and check things out for yourself, like the real definition of alcoholism. The big A does run in my family so the acquired taste came naturally to me. Need advice on this, my friend said if I don't get help we can no longer be friends and he would go with me everystep of the way, so as of right now this is an attempt to see if I do have a problem w/drinking....

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LinBaba


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Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or not, that being said it seems you aren't ready to quit yet, which is OK, it takes what it takes, or not, However, just to kind of give yourself an idea where you might stand, take these 20 questions HONESTLY, no one needs to know the answers but you

As you state you don't want to go to an AA meeting, you DO know where to go if you do decide to stop drinking

20 Questions

The 20 Questions

Take this 20 question test to help you decide whether or not you are an alcoholic.

Answer YES or NO to the following questions.

1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
YES __ NO __

2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
YES __ NO __

3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
YES __ NO __

4. Is your drinking affecting your reputation?
YES __ NO __

5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
YES __ NO __

6. Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
YES __ NO __

7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
YES __ NO __

8. Does your drinking make you careless of your familys welfare?
YES __ NO __

9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
YES __ NO __

10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time?
YES __ NO __

11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
YES __ NO __

12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
YES __ NO __

13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
YES __ NO __

14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
YES __ NO __

15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?

YES __ NO __

16. Do you drink alone?
YES __ NO __

17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
YES __ NO __

18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
YES __ NO __

19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
YES __ NO __

20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of drinking?
YES __ NO __

What's your score?

If you have answered YES to any one of the questions, there is a definite warning that you may be an alcoholic.

If you have answered YES to any two, the chances are that you are an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.

(The test questions are used at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD, in deciding whether or not a patient is an alcoholic).

 

The "real" definition of alcoholic, as per your sister is probably

 

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

Alcoholics try to control and enjoy their drinking, problem is if they are controlling it, they aren't enjoying it, if they are enjoying it, they aren't controlling it

Normal drinkers never try to control their drinking.....because they don't have to, it's only when drinking starts controlling the person does the person try to control the drinking

Drinking to get drunk on a normal basis and drinking to stuff feelings is drinking alcoholically


-- Edited by LinBaba on Sunday 28th of November 2010 06:46:39 PM

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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
turninggrey


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Hey Peaches,
Sift through a couple chapters of this:
http://anonpress.org/bb/
And see if it does not sound familiar.  It sounds to me like you have a problem.  A difficulty to using AA is that you need to realize you are "powerless" over alcohol and it does not sound like you are there...............yet!  You might come to that conclusion if you find a local meeting, introduce yourself, and listen to the stories of others.  Look through the above online document known to us as the "Big Book" and you may find an answer or two.


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peaches1


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Thank you for the response and I will take the test and let you know how it goes

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peaches1


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I will also look in to the "Big Book" to see if I can relate to something anything similiar to my situation, thank you

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peaches1


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Alcoholics try to control and enjoy their drinking, problem is if they are controlling it, they aren't enjoying it, if they are enjoying it, they aren't controlling it

Normal drinkers never try to control their drinking.....because they don't have to, it's only when drinking starts controlling the person does the person try to control the drinking

Drinking to get drunk on a normal basis and drinking to stuff feelings is drinking alcoholically

These comments above make perfect sense to me!

I want to share the answers to the questions if that's okay, I answered w/4 yes's on the questions. There was one of that was a maybe and I pushed it on in to "yes".  You stated at the end that 3 makes you a definite alcoholic, so I guess I have some things to look at. I can find places in my area to go after research, im sure. I guess if you are an alcoholic you get mad if sobriety means you cannot drink EVER again, because you cannot control it, it controls you,,wooooow....I am really sulking right now, thanks again for the questionaire it was worth it...

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LinBaba


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peaches1 wrote:

Alcoholics try to control and enjoy their drinking, problem is if they are controlling it, they aren't enjoying it, if they are enjoying it, they aren't controlling it

Normal drinkers never try to control their drinking.....because they don't have to, it's only when drinking starts controlling the person does the person try to control the drinking

Drinking to get drunk on a normal basis and drinking to stuff feelings is drinking alcoholically

These comments above make perfect sense to me!

I want to share the answers to the questions if that's okay, I answered w/4 yes's on the questions. There was one of that was a maybe and I pushed it on in to "yes".  You stated at the end that 3 makes you a definite alcoholic, so I guess I have some things to look at. I can find places in my area to go after research, im sure. I guess if you are an alcoholic you get mad if sobriety means you cannot drink EVER again, because you cannot control it, it controls you,,wooooow....I am really sulking right now, thanks again for the questionaire it was worth it...



((((hugs)))))

I love you hahahahahaha

I am really sulking right now, thanks again for the questionaire it was worth it...

yup, you're an alcoholic

Great response, here read these, these are what got my attention

The Story of The Jaywalker

and

More About Alcoholism

 



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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Rainspa


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Yeah, don't worry about "forever".

You don't have to do anything "forever".

Just think about today.



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StPeteDean


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Hello Peaches and welcome to the board.

Here's a couple things for you. A definition of an addiction.- "A pathological relationship (love to / have to) to a mood altering substance or event, that has life damaging consequences." So how are you or your life suffering because of your drinking? You already told us that you do drink to mood alter. I think a lot of us had reservations about being an alcoholic because we didn't think that our drinking (affects of our drinking) were that serious or severe. I drank almost every day but I never drank in the morning or was sick every morning (hangovers several times a week yeah). I never crashed a car or got convicted of a DUI. These were about the only things that I could come up with.

What you need to realize is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. If you are an alcoholic there may be a lot of things that haven't happened to you Yet, but may very well happen sooner or later. You may be in the early stages, and you may be a binge drinker. Binge drinkers can decide when they want to drink, but once they start to drink, they can't stop and they do get drunk every time they drink. If you want to look into your drinking to get an honest appraisal, you should start writing about all of the unfortunate things that have happen while you were drinking. Take a couple of weeks and every time that you think of one incident write it down. Then start writing about things that you lost because you were drinking (jobs, friends, opportunities, money, things, self respect...). Then write about things that you'd like to do that alcohol is keeping you from doing (having a relationship, traveling, having a better career, starting your own business, certain hobby or activity....). Then write about what alcohol costs you, and the associated costs (the loses due to drinking, legal issues...) These are all the real costs of drinking. If you come up with a whole lot of nothing, than maybe you're not an alcoholic but rather a problem drinker. If so, you should be able to just stop drinking with the realization that you need to. And if you don't have a serious problem, then why not try and not drink for 6 months and see how your life/health improves. It shouldn't be too hard if you're not an alcoholic.

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happycamper


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Right, just one day at a time .. it really is how its done.

My very first sponsor always said, " Its not what you drink or how much you drink, its what happens to you when you do drink ".

Step 1. We admitted We were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.

My current sponsor asked me 2 questions the last time I got sober ...
1. Can you stop drinking after having only 1 or 2 drinks every time you drink?
2. Can you stop drinking completely on your own resources?

I answered NO to both questions, then my sponsor and I moved on to the next part of step 1 and discussed the unmanageability in my life.

Didnt take me long to move on to step 2 ...

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pinkchip


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It does sound like you are drinking in a destructive way, but you might be repressing issues that could be better dealt with in therapy rather than in AA. I only gathered this from the bits you wrote about crying fits when drunk and so forth. This may be a maladaptive coping skill for you, but it doesn't sound like you drink so much that it is your only coping skill (that is how it got for me). Most of us here were drinking almost daily by the end. I don't think this excludes you at all, I would never NEVER want you to get to that point and only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. Your friend and your sister cant... Just something to consider.

It does seem like you need to not use alcohol as a crutch to deal with painful emotions. Drinking in that manner seems to have stopped working for you. How you go about stopping that is up to you and it may be best adressed by focusing in on the triggers and feelings in therapy, focusing on the drinking primarily in AA, or both. We are here for you either way.

Mark

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Jerry F


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Aloha Peaches and welcome to the search...An early sponsor of mind asked me
to listen to my story as if someone else was telling it and then come to some
conclusions.  

That I am also very chemically tolerant worked against me also.  I drank as
long as it was available and rarely if ever looked drunk.  My family therefore
told me I didn't have a problem as the rest of the alcoholics in the house were
passing out and falling all over the place.  Long story short I didn't know if
I was alcoholic, didn't know what alcoholic was other than maybe it was a moral
weakness, didn't know what chemical tolerance or any other thing was until I
went on my own search.   I sure did find out why my skin had a light shade of
yellowish green to it for almost my entire life.  It went away 5 years after I
stopped drinking.

I've been to college on the disease of alcoholism and AA to help me arrest it.
In my search I have discovered that the 3 toxic shocks I have had from drinking
alcohol were only part of the indicator that I was alcoholic. 

You drink to get drunk...drunk is abnormal and you have it right that drunk
is normal after drinking a mind and mood altering chemical.  You are aware
that it is mind and mood altering and you continue to do it.   Part of the
definition of alcoholism is that it is a compulsion of the mind and an allergy
of the body.  The allergy reveals itself when my body fights the chemical and
it's affects on my system and not only by vomiting.  Therefore my greenish
hue.

You have drank inspite of your awarenesses of the chemical and the effect.
I did that also...I drank and always attempted to stay unaffected by the
alcohol...I had a compulsion to do that every time I drank and it almost
killed me.  When I reviewed this awareness after I got into recovery and started
and started my investigation I didn't have any problem with the first step of
recovery....Admitted I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become
unmanagable.   If you have others outside of you that are giving you feed
back about your drinking often it is about you being unmanageable when you
drink and you cannot drinking without getting drunk.   I used that information
to get and stay sober...simple. 

Lin Baba posted the self assessment questionaire...hope you filled that out.
Another thing you can do is go to an assessment at a good rehab in your
neighborhood and have them do it with you.   Takes courage just like going
to AA.  Alcoholics are normal people who have an incurable addiction to
alcohol and an allergy to it.

Realization?...when you get that you might want to do the next right thing.

Keep coming back.    ((((hugs)))) smile

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