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Post Info TOPIC: Insanity Really Does Rule.
Phil


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Insanity Really Does Rule.
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1. Is there another word for synonym?

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we
still have monkeys and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he
knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told
me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters
wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as
mattresses?

8. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands
with soap?

9. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest
speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is
he still wrong?

10. If someone with multiple personalities threatens
to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

11. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the
sweaty things.

12. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what
they do "practice?"

13. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it
all?"

14. What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?

15. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his
wages?

16. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

17. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they
afraid someone will clean them?

18. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless
or naked?

19. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

20. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

21. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he
has the right to remain silent?

22. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through ugly
bank machines?

23. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow
road sign?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because
they taste funny?

25. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

26. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk
about other people.

27. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but
not be able to say it.

28. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in
large groups.

29. The older you get, the better you realize you
were.

30. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

31. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with
yesterday.

32. Women like silent men, they think they're
listening.

33. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal
with it.

34. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink
beer all day.

35. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on
Wednesdays?

36. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they
go back to?

37. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery?

38. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience
sitting?

39. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

40. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest
have to drown too?

41. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it
still #2?

42. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay
you to do it?

43. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still
be hungry?

44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you
done?

45. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot
at them?



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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Rick


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 Insanity --doing the same thing over and over expecting different results???"?????


 



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Phil


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Hey Gammy? If one can eat a 72 ounze steak in an hour, and get it free--does that mean--that if one eats 2 of them in an hour--they pay me for one of them? hahaha


This travelling stuff isnt going to happen for 20 months yet-still have one kid to ship out to college.:) so-hang tough eh? :)


And Doll? Youre on.


Chicken hu? Do you guys take the feathers off first? or just add ketsup, like we do? hahaha


The next big step here, is trying to get the US of A to let me in. Thall be a sales job, Im sure.


I wonder how fast one has to go, to pull off an "Evil K-neival" over the Niagara river.


 


 



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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Rick


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Hey Phil


When u jump the Niagara, head East on the NYS thruway and u'll bump right in to us.


20 months --gonna get out of the snow AAAAAAAAAA?????



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Doll


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Awwwwsome!!!


 


 



 


Love ya, Phil!



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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
GammyRose


MIP Old Timer

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Hey guys, This is the first post I read when I got here today, why? Because insanity rules my life , even though I'm getting better. I actually stayed away from the very drunk alcoholic in my life yesterday. 


I love these questions," Would a fly without wings be called a walk." We could ponder these forever.But I must get busy...darn.


Twenty months Phil,that's a loooong time, we may have to come see you in Canada.


(((Hugs)))


GammyRose



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Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Phil


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You want to come to Canada??  no problemo:)


How r yu with whale blubber on toast-roflmao   Hafta bring a battery operated electric blanket tho--it gets cold in this damned igloo.:)  How r yu makin out with the packing and moving stuff--and have you got a place to move into?


Rick--peice of cake-finding you Bud.


And Doll? --take the damned feathers off the chickens will yu.? Im getting tired of spitting out fearthers. lol



__________________
Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
Phil


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 2087
Date:
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Snow Rick? To be honest about it---you likely get more than we do:) and the climate is almost the same.:)


Dont beleive everything I tell yu. lol



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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
angelia2823


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so its true about you canadians living in igloos.


god that must be cold then.....how do you do it?


can you really eat whale blubber.....thought they used that for oil lamps?


what do i know.


well phil keep warm and god bless.



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Cabbageheadchris


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One to add to the list Phil: Is Procrastabation something you do when your horny and have better things to do than having a ****!


 


Ah well, thats my attempt at humor!


Bye for now.


 


Chris.



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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
Doll


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Phil, darlin',


 


You got lots to learn bout good ole southern cookin.  The feathers are considered a delicacy, along with the beaks and feet as a side dish.    Add some collard greens with fatback and you got food so good it'll make wanna kick your dog 


 


Doll


 


 



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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
cheri


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Hey Phil? We got the "Macho Nachos" where I work...you get a free t shirt if you finish it all by your self!


How come all alcoholics talk about food so much???


Love, cheri



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Phil


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2087
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Hey Cheri-hows it goin? Free T shirts hu.? Sounds  like a plan. Xmas presents.


Why do we talk about food so much? Because if we all talked about sex-wede all get booted off of here-roflmao


Have a nice night.



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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
angelia2823


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PHIL,


DON'T YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH............ROFLMAO



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